Wedding Expo

Below: A pretty posey

I went to the big expo with Cass-zilla yesterday. We were, on the whole, not all that fussed with it. Possibly because a lot of what was on display had already been booked and sorted by them (venue, photographer).

I think they're interesting in that you can fairly much guarantee that any male and female walking around together are engaged. You can use it as an anthropological opportunity and notice that couples are, generally, well matched. They look similar, dress to a similar level of 'coolness'. Almost without exception the couples were very similar looking.

I noticed all of this from my somewhat painful wait outside the entrance. Standing there by yourself you feel somewhat conspicuous and hope nobody will come up and say, 'So when's the big day?' and try and sell you something. People started getting quite put out by me refusing to take their brochures.

Wedding expos really are a playground for girls though. They combine many of our favourite things: pretty dresses, pretty flowers, pretty cakes, pretty stationery and pretty music. It just all happens to be themed.

The highlight for me was finding the BEST FUDGE IN THE WORLD. I wouldn't have shared it if you'd asked! It was my prrrrecious. The gollums cherished each delectable crumb. Mmmmm.

Below: Pretty flowers in pretty teacups * * *

Fishy's birthday afternoon tea was delightful. I chatted more to Cass and Ant and then Ken and Holly. Then I chatted to Morgan and Sam made us look at photo albums. I was in only one photo. There were rats too. I touched one of them. They were less yucky than some rats I've seen.

Morgan said I'd look good in greyscale, due to my ensemble. I think that's a compliment. But it may not be...... You just smile and nod when he says such things.

It's my school-girl pinafore outfit. Jolly fun!


* * *
I was showing some students a clip on a video today and it happened to have my old game-show footage at the beginning of the tape.... and we happened to finish a little early. So I let them watch it as a 'treat'. Of course, at that moment the dean of the year level came in and was a little surprised at my 'lesson'.
Perhaps as a compliment, one of the students flat-out refused to believe the person on screen was me. I swore it was, and that the cameras are most unflattering. One student said I looked 'stubbly' .... though on further explanation I'm fairly sure she meant 'chubby' .... and they started expounding on the theory that the camera adds 20 pounds. They also like me better with my longer hair................. They noticed that I grimace every time the camera is on me. I explained that that was because I was realised just how bloody bad I was going to do and that everybody I'd ever known was going to see this on TV.... plus I didn't know the answer. It was my 'uh-oh' face.
* * *
The handy-man came around to look at the leak in my bedroom roof. I had to strategically hide the iron-mark on the floor with my laptop. The landlord has not seen my iron-mark yet. It is unmistakably an iron-mark. I don't think she'll like it much but it sure is a talking point.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.....

The following sequence is based on real events in a flat in Hataitai. Parental guidance is recommended.

This is a fridge. It is a normal looking fridge.This is Angela. She is going to get some milk for her cereal....But what she sees when she opens the door shocks her!

* * *

I want one for Christmas!

Woo Woo!

Somebody's huge head jumped into our photo at the last second, obscuring Ange......

I tell you whut....

We did ok at quiz tonight. It was just me, Ange and Reidun and we got in the top half of the pack. Sixth out of thirteen. We even got 6 for the sports round. We got at least six for every round after the first two (geography and space stuff). Even a couple of eights!

My most proud answer was to 'What sport has its best players of the latter era with the nicknames Super Mario and The Great One?'

None of us knew what the final communication from the Titanic was. The second to last one was SOS (Save Our Souls) but the last one was CQD. We had all kinds of good ideas.....

And I knew what TV character had the catch-phrase 'Trust me - I know what I'm doing'.

The Gods are Smiling on me.

Tomorrow night's home game at school has been defaulted by the other team. I now don't have to go back to school at 6pm anymore!

Thus I am able to instead fully take part in the inter-departmental indoor bowls competition.

I shall relish the opportunity to relive my glory days of lawn bowling and will try and regain the competitive form that saw me come first overall in the inter-departmental 10 Pin Bowling comp last year.

Team English shall compete valiantly.........

* * *

What were some memorable moments from my day......

1) The bad-asssest kid in my class actually did all her work because I promised that if she did she'd get a tiny little Winnie the Pooh sticker (who knew it was that easy to bribe her???).

2) My favourite dread-locked student (the one who listens to NIN) came in to borrow my keys and get some dictionaries for her class.... The principal had just given a speech on wearing uniform properly and asked us to 'back her up', so I said gleefully, 'Sure you can, but first do up the top button of your shirt properly.'

After several back-and-forths where she said, 'But Miss, don't be silly..... we've got an assessment, so I just need to get them now,' and I said, 'So hurry up and tidy it so you're a good role model for my Year 9s!' ...... she said with a smirk, 'Fine - I'll go get keys off a different teacher,' and exited triumphantly.

She slunk back a few minutes later, doing up her button mumbling in defeat (but with a good-humoured smile), 'Nobody else up here has keys.......' VICTORY TO ME! Her rebellious little stand was ruined. We often have such battles (I used to have an envelope in my drawer which I put confiscated jewelry in and affectionately called 'My Natalie Envelope').

I wasn't kidding.

Masks of our favourite Dancing with the Stars celebrities. Ready for distribution tomorrow at netball. Not laminated. For the record, even a mask of Paul Homles makes me shudder.

* * *

It's another theme dinner at Chez Waipapa. Tonight it's Italian. We were going to have violin cases and people kissing Clayton's ring on the way in the door. But we've downgraded to lasagne, meatballs, canniloni (sp?) and red wine. And candles. We don't do it by halves! By 'we', I mean Reidun.

We are expecting eleven tonight. We have vaguely Italian themed music ready ('we' meaning Reidun again, but I am enthusiastic in support). My guests are Ange and Englishguy1 (who's back in town). Last time it was Sam and Fish.

Should be jolly fun!

* * *

My digital camera is like a fussy bloody cat that will only eat certain cat foods (invariably the expensive ones that come in pouches). It only works with certain batteries. And of course, they are the most expensive ones. The gold ones. It's a snobby camera. I discovered this after investing much money in a 10 pack of similarly expensive silver batteries, only to find my camera wouldn't work at all with them. Grrrrr. Fussy cats and cameras suck.

It used to work with cheaper batteries. It's developing pretentious tastes in its adolescence. Teens are expensive for their owners.....

Basketball and Dungeons

1. The Beginning o' The End

Last night was the first night of basketball games at school. That means that Fridaynight=Basketballnight for the next couple of terms. It's like my weekend doesn't start til 9pm on a Friday, when the last game finishes.

But as much as I dread going BACK to school on a Friday night, it's always fun once I'm there. The kids are all positive and into it.

Game 1 was our Senior B team. I think none of them had ever played a game (beyond a couple of 3rd formers who had played mini-ball). So it was ..... a learning process. I think by the end they looked a little less scared. I wanted to somehow subtly drop in the fact that half the team were 3rd formers and one of them was a partially special-needs student in case the other school got cocky about beating them 7-57.

I was telling the special-needs girl that all she had to do on defence was stick with #6. I was actually reffing at the same time, but when the scoreline's that one-sided I think impartiality matters less. She said to me, 'But I don't want to get that close to her.' There could be defensive problems if she has personal space issues....... Her dad came up and thanked me for letting her join in afterwards. Odd thing was that rather than watching the game, he'd sat there doing something on his laptop the whole time.

The best thing was that one of the girls came up afterwards and said her dad was happy to take over coaching them. It was like christmas! I suddenly saw a light at the end of the tunnel....... perhaps some Friday nights will be for 'socialising' and going to 'work drinks' (strange events I forget about until about September). I remember him yelling out a few things during the game, and he seemed to know what he was talking about. And another partent came up and offered to help out with transport. Parents rule!

Then the Senior A redeemed our pride by romping over the other school's A team. We have one player who's just poetry in motion. She has played NZ rep basketball and soccer for years. I think she got about 10 steals and about 30 points. We had a few new players in the team, and all of them scored a few points and looked fairly chuffed. One of them did a little fist-pumping dance after making two free-throws. She's gonna be a crowd favourite. And one of their dads kept coming down between quarters and giving his daughter advice on being 'tougher'. I love it when dads get inolved in their daugher's sports. It's sweet.

Anyhow, that means Miss J doesn't have to coach! I can now focus on my favourite thing - running the score-bench. Score-bench is FUN! Last night I taught two of the 3rd formers how to do the score-sheet and part of the score-board. I ran the 24-second and game clock.... the two most visible jobs......... the clock went off a few times because I forgot to reset it........... always embarrassing. But one of the girls said, 'Miss, can I do this EVERY week?' So yay! Another job Miss J doesn't have to do.......

2. D 'n' D

I found this shirt. It's wicked with its multi-sided di and whatnot. If I had to buy a present for Richard, Morgue or 'John'* (or anyone else who's a closet Dungeons and Dragons player) I'd be ordering it right now!

Then I read the comments about it. Turns out lots of people bought it thinking it was referring to some rap song, not an exhibition about role playing. Haha! That's a funny thought that they're going around wearing a tshirt they think is totally gangsta, but it's totally white-and-nerdy (according to my man Al).

Here are some of the comments made about it:

We’re Rollin’ They’re Hatin’ is a large-scale contemporary art show that examines the role of Dungeons and Dragons, Escapism and Fantasy in contemporary art and culture. How many people who ordered this are groaning right now?
I thought it was just a weird design with that chamillionair song on it...
* Name changed to protect public image and avoid law suit

... Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Sometimes teaching is fun and it makes me laugh. It's good to have a job where you can laugh.

1. NIN

First thing this morning, I'm walking to my classroom and there's a girl standing outside the door. She says to me plaintively, 'Miss, I'm afraid to go in!'

'Why?' I reply suspiciously. This girl is mischievous, but secretly one of my favourites (though she'd never believe it, having had me gleefully confiscate half of her jewelry collection when she was in my form-class into a special envelope with her name on it).

'I was in the common room before everyone else this morning.... So I played some Nine Inch Nails. Really loud. And ..... nobody would stay in there. They all left. They all hate me!' She says this with a twinkle in her eye though. She is the only kid in Year 12 with dread-locks.

'Well, blimin' fair enough then - you kids and your devil-music,' I say, while laughing at her.

I get a real kick out of her. She has this I-hate-school exterior and often wags classes or even gets suspended, but whenever she is in class she stays behind afterwards and talks to me about obscure arthouse films she's seen. And she always ends the conversation with really sincere recommendations of, 'You should see it, Miss! You'd love it!'

I told her to go listen to the Johnny Cash version of Hurt. Me recommending a country singer to her will tie in with the fact that every time she saw me walking around school with my i-pod on last year she'd ask what I was listening to.... and while there is a plethora of 'cool' and 'hip' stuff on there I'd always be up to the Norah Jones song for some reason..... It was eerie. Norah does not impress her.

2. DAMNED EMOS

I had a great discussion with my Year 13 Media Studies class. It was supposed to be a five-minute starter activity (while Miss got her mind into gear and decided where to start with the real lesson), but turned into a really passionate dialogue on all kinds of recent events in the media.

You can't often have those conversations with a class of teenagers - a lot of them would look at you blankly. But this class are 'special'. They all watch the news and talk about politics with their parents. They are neato!

We started with the Virginia Tech coverage and I was very nearly convinced of the public need to see the footage the murderer sent to NBC. A few convincing kids talked about how it struck a chord with them because of the closeness in age, and how the human issues in it created an actual need for closure and explanation. They argued that because we, as an audience, struggle to understand such acts that go against human nature we are comforted that there is reason behind it.

We segued into the use of blogs as a forum for public sympathy and whether such a soulless form of communication (compared to face-to-face contact) could be effective. There was discussion of what makes a murderer and what might happen in a dystopic (?) future if you could somehow scientifically tell someone had a propensity for that sort of violence while they were in the womb or a baby. There was talk of the biased representation of pit-bulls and their owners in the media and the Jennifer Lynch revelations and how they represented the US Government. There was praise and criticism of Michael Moore and George Bush (in equal parts).

It was fun!

The funnest bit was when the other kids jokingly said one of the girls in our class fits the profile of a school-yard-killer (she wears a lot of black, admits to being proudly cynical and plays bass in a rock band). I put on my innocent teachers-have-no-clue-about-pop-culture voice (which I often use when quoting lyrics to hippity-hop and rap songs or talking about sex as if it's a dirty word and I'd never have it in a million years - they love it and make me promise to never ever try to talk about that with them ever again) and said totally dead-pan, 'Yeah you do - it's because you're an 'Emo'.'

That always gets a rise out of her! I have learnt that calling a kid Emo is about the biggest insult you can give...... And thus I put on my 'special' naive voice and do it as often as possible....

3. Interview with the Teacher

Parent interviews were even good! Actually, they usually are, I just angst about them a bit because you're entering the unknown each time a parent steps up to your desk. I learnt that a few quiet girls who don't say boo in class are going home and watching movies with their parents and making comments like, 'Oh.... I actually understand why they do that now....... ' Bless!

I have ruined the ability to watch a movie without analysing it for another generation of students.

4. Off the Cuff

I did my favourite speaking activity with a class today. It's an impromptu speech game Nicky made up years ago, which I have perfected. It's basically an extended version of the 'Ummm' game (you're out if you say 'Umm') with extra rules and a scoring system.

I give them easy or hard topics (hard ones are worth double points!) such as 'Lawn Bowls', 'The Best Place to sit in a Movie Theatre' or 'Cheese' and they talk for as long as they can, gaining points for their team.

It's hilarious - some kids last 3 seconds, others get past 30. But the humour of it and the team camaraderie takes away from the scariness of being up in front of the class speaking by yourself. It tricks them into getting more confident!

Highlights were one of the more shy and anxious kids getting the topic of 'Frisbees'. For most kids this would be a bugger of a topic. But she happened to know the entire history of the thing and told us all about pie-tins and other fascinating stuff.

The other highlight was an immersion kid getting the topic of 'The Benefit of Learning Another Language' and having the idea of giving her speech in Maori. She told us the equivalent of 'umm' in Maori before she started and we had a couple of other immersion kids in the audience monitor how on-topic she was. The word 'korero' came up a few times - so I was convinced.

As usual, they were skeptical when the words 'impromptu speech' were mentioned but by the end of the lesson they were all asking if they could have another go and if we could do it again tomorrow.

Public speaking is FUN!

Pickled Onions and Sardines

Just about everyone I know who's seen 300 hated it. Boys, anyhow. My two male flatmates were both gravely disappointed by the lack of plot. I agreed that a fair bit of it was stolen from Gladiator/Star Wars/Braveheart/Lord of the Rings......

But as a girl, I went into it with absolutely no expectations. I'd seen the shorts and when all they show in those is fight scenes, I can generally guess it's going to be a crap movie. So, I didn't want to see it at all. I only went because other people were going......

And I can honestly say that we girls didn't mind it! I can go on about the use of chiarascuro (I use that term whenever possible, now that I can pronounce it) and the visual style..... but at the end of the day we were mostly persuaded by the hot bodies. Some liked the thighs, some likes the abs...... But rarely has such a top notch collection of male specimens been seen on screen together!

It at the very least gave us an insight into what it's like to be an objectifying male..... It's fun!

* * *

Is there any better singing-loud-in-the-car-by-yourself-song than Pearl Jam's Jeremy? I think not.

INCONCEIVABLE!

1. Gelato

Last night we (mainly Ange, to her credit) discovered the new gelato place on Courtenay Place. It's the same name as the place on Oriental Parade, but I'd never been to that one. Kaffe Eis (something like that).

It is YUMTASTIC. There are at least 20 choices of flavours, about half fruity and half chocolately goodness. And for less than the price of a handle of beer, you get to try two flavours in a little pottle with a tiny little spoon (so it lasts for ages). And it has absolutley no calories, so you can eat as much as you like! (This may be a delusion of mine, but please don't correct me - it makes me happy to believe this.)

We ate our little pottles silently for a good ten minutes, only stopping to say inane things like, 'It really DOES taste coconutty..... It's so good!' And within that time there was no talk of boys or other frivalous gossip. It may well be true that gelato is better than sex. For that particular moment we were fairly satisfied, anyhow.

I had raspberry and caramello, Ange had strawberry and coconut and Lauren had mixed berry and chocolate chip. We all raved. I really think you can't go wrong.

I am going to make it my mission to try every single flavour....... I wish I hadn't started this mission so close to winter.......

2. Sporty Stuff

We played netball today for Michelle's team. It was a good close game. My woeful shooting/passing/running/general-playing continued. It's very odd. I feel like Austin Powers.... who stole my mojo?

Then there were some ballin' shooing games between me, Morgan and Ben. I believe I was the overall champion. Morgan had fun in his own special way (he'd have hours of fun with just a stick and a rock). I was somewhat concerned that Ben managed to sneak in a few victories as I am usually undefeatable..... I'm sure I can come up with some viable excuses, given time.

3. LVN

I caught up on some great family gossip and got fed well on my trip home for the day.

Apparently my step-mum has turned into a self-confessed grumpy old trout. She is that grumpy lady that makes a scene in a shop. She tried to return a can opener at The Warehouse and ended up storming out of there, with the supervisor following her insisting she take the good in question with her - but Lynne yelled out, 'I don't want your bloody can-opener! You can keep it. Give it to the manager for christmas!' and after further provoking she said, 'You can stick it up your ass!' That story had me in tears. She went back the next day and apologised. Chronic pain does funny things to people.... Evidently it makes you far less tolerant of stupid shop policies.

My dad tried to notice something to do with 'fashion'. He asked if I'd thinned out my hair (in a nice way). I explained that it's the straightening..... takes away the frizz. He nodded and went, 'Hmm!'

Then there was the story from the wedding. I liked that one. He was at my cousin's wedding and had had a few drinks. Lynne said it was time they went home, at which point he nodded and started taking his watch off. While wobbling on his feet and leaning on the wall he said, 'Hold this, dear'. Then he took off his shoes and gave her his wallet too.

Lynne thought it was time to get him home, so went off to get the car. At this point, people suspected Dad was about to collapse or fall over, he was so shaky on his feet (he uses a cane even when he's sober....). But all of a sudden he straightened up, took a few strides towards the swimming pool and jumped in.

According to reports, people starting laughing and clapping. So he got out and bowed. At this point Lynne came back, he walked up to her and gave her a big wet hug. And then they went home. Sopping wet.

Dad likes to do strange spontaneous things sometimes................ He went back the next day and my cousin said, 'Uncle Merv - my friends think you're a legend now!'

Home is good, though. It helps that their house is like something out of a Home and Garden magazine. It is just delightful.

Libby gave me fleas. I have two itchy bites of my hip.

* * *

Back to school tomorrow. Stink! Only good thing is that I'll be able to wear some of my new clothes. That'll be fun.

Just for Ange.

Righto, I have to think of something to blog about so Ange isn't bored at work (how could you get bored working in the power industry? Sounds like mad-cap fun to me!).

Killing Spree

I'm having a conscious lack of interest in the Virginia Tech killings. I hate that the media have plastered that video he made all over the place. It would have foiled his plan if the person who'd opened it in the mail-room at NBC had just thrown it straight in the bin. It would've been a hard but incredibly noble thing to do.

The guy wasn't a genius or particularly psychologically interesting - on a lot of levels it looked like he was doing it purely to become notorious. And the media have helped him succeed in that.

I have a healthy interest in serial killers and the like, but only really the ones who do it and don't want to get caught and purposefully don't tell the police or media deatils about what they've done or why. There's something at least interesting about someone who would do something like that for private rather than public motivations. I do a lesson on Ed Gein to my Media Studies students, as he was a key influence in early pscyhological horrors, like Psycho and Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the first real 'next door neighbour' serial killer that was discovered by the popular media - he was this unassuming old man who had bodies buried in his backyard and had lamps made out of human skin, among other things).

There's something boring about anybody whose primary motivation is fame (from politicians to entertainers.... to I guess even mass murderers). It's kinda pathetic. It puts them in the category of Winston Peters or Britney Speares.....

Anyhow, I didn't mean to trivialise the issue at all. I think that showing the tape he made and giving great attention to him as a psychological specimen is serving his own egotistical wants rather than helping society in any way, particularly families of the victims. Sounds like he was a rather miserable kid who had all kinds of issues that were somewhat beyond his control, so I feel sorry for him in that regard. Probably just wanted somebody to take an interest in him and tell him he was fascinating.... and this kinda forced that to happen (wow - that reminds me of Education for Leisure, a poem I have taught - it starts with the line 'Today I'm going to kill something.......' and the narrator goes on to have delusions of grandeur and desperately wants people to recognise him as a genius).

That's my speil on that issue!

Just for you, Ange.

Actually..... here's that poem. I liked it the first time I read it (came across it looking for something on budgie-torture - long story). She's a great poet anyhow - a lot of teachers at my school have followed my lead and done a unit on her recently. If you look closely you can notice the use of violent verbs, the detached tone, the only use of imagery being associated with violent fantasies, the progression of voilence from verse to verse, the ambiguity in points, the delusional tone, the distance between his/her belief that they are a genius and the reality (the Shakespeare quote is misinterpreted), striking use of second-person pronoun in the last line......

Education for Leisure by Carol Ann Duffy

Today I am going to kill something. Anything.
I have had enough of being ignored and today
I am going to play God. It is an ordinary day,
a sort of grey with boredom stirring in the streets.

I squash a fly against the window with my thumb.
We did that at school. Shakespeare. It was in
another language and now the fly is in another language.
I breathe out talent on the glass to write my name.

I am a genius. I could be anything at all, with half
the chance. But today I am going to change the world.
Something’s world. The cat avoids me. The cat
knows I am a genius, and has hidden itself.

I pour the goldfish down the bog. I pull the chain.
I see that it is good. The budgie is panicking.
Once a fortnight, I walk the two miles into town
for signing on. They don’t appreciate my autograph.

There is nothing left to kill. I dial the radio
and tell the man he’s talking to a superstar.
He cuts me off. I get our bread-knife and go out.
The pavements glitter suddenly. I touch your arm.

* * *

I might go home to the LVN area tomorrow. I haven't been home..... in ages! Not since January, probably. Gosh. There may be new buildings and super-highways have been built since then...... or maybe not.

I anticipate they will be renovating something, and that they will claim this is the last thing they need to renovate (for about the millionth time).

I anticipate freshly baked savoury scones.

I anticipate Libby will jump all over me and leave a trail of dog fur on my clothes. Also she will be very very fat.

I anticipate Dad will show me through all the family research he's been working on this year. He has joined the local geneological society. I think I'll enjoy that.

I will have boxes of 'stuff' foisted on me to take back to my flat. Hopefully some of it will be useful.

It'll be a nice day!

Strange.

1. Vonnegut

In his passing, I was reminded that ages ago I bought the movie of Slapstick for $1.97 from a bargain bin at The Warehouse. I mainly bought it because it seemed like a really odd book to try and turn into a movie - I wondered how they'd do it.

Badly, is the answer. Any film starring Jerry Lewis as the father is bound to be ..... slapstick. And they made it into a movie by only including about the first 1/5th of the story-line and ignoring all the best bits and somehow inserting an alien spaceship into it where I don't remember there being any aliens.

Hi ho.

2. Netball

Last night's game was much better. Jon thinks the aliens must have returned me safely (though five minutes late). It was four players from our Monday team, just under a different guise. In a much better grade.

Evidently our Monday team is in grade 2, which is ..... high. We must've done something to piss Georgie off. Has she never seen Ken play???

3. Music

With my new broadband I have watched the JCB song three times. It is just adorable. You may have seen it when it was on C4 late last year, but if you haven't - watch it! It's got a cartoon of a yellow digger and Optimus Prime. I'm Luke, I'm five, and my dad's Bruce Lee. Drives me round in his JCB.

Being as Ange is lining up gigs and auditions for me left right and centre I figured I'd better dust of the old geetar. I learnt me a new song yesterday, the Evermore one that's got the video with Sally from Home and Away.

It is hard to play the geetar with one sore finger. It is also hard to play it when you haven't played in ages and your once proud callouses have all but disappeared. Making new ones is owie.

I think my best song is now a Bob Dylan one - It Ain't Me, Babe. Bob Dylan songs are easy to sing and play! Bless folk singers. I was about to say something mean about Bob's vocal stylings but I must remember that Woodie Guthrie said he actually liked them. And he knows more than me.

PS - Vogels cereal is the shizm (as the young folks say). I got the golden syrup one. I am salivating at the thought of it...................

Girly Night

1. Shopping

I went shopping today for a skirt to match my new boots (which are fairly manly flat-boots, but doggone it are they comfortable!). Anyhow, tried on a skirt at Cue which was $169 ...... and I would have had to take tiny little lady steps in it or risked ripping the seams open.

Then I went to Country Road. I have never in my life bought anything there..... but I came across the best sale ever! I bought $480 worth of clothes for $72. It was 75% off the sale price. I got two skirts, two camisoles (one of which was silk) and two tops for that bargain total!

For the record, I don't think their clothes are all that fantastic. A lot of them aren't really much of a step up from your basic shop in terms of quality. But I'm not gonna complain when I'm getting tops for $5 and skirts for $20.

And because I saved so much.... I went and bought a $150 red woollen throw rug from their home store...........

I need to stop shopping. The holidays are dangerous.

2. Watching

Me and Ange had our first weekly girly night of watching Dancing with the Stars at her flat. It was fab! We got quite emotional about it all. We were both visibly shaken when April got voted out rather than Michael Laws. Unjust!!!

Our biggest improvers of the week were Frank Bunce and Greer Robson. Always solid were Megan, Brendan and Suzanne Paul (a crowd favourite). Paul Holmes and Michael Laws sucked again. One of them needs to be voted out! Paul Holmes physically repulsed us (Angela couldn't actually bear to watch him try to look sexy doing the rumba, and hid her face in her sleeping bag).

3. Movies

I watched the new Australian adaptation of Macbeth. It was ok. The lady playing Lady Macbeth was quite good. It was a rather action-movie version. I think they didn't really cover the angle where Malcolm and Macduff were nicer people than Macbeth.... everybody had a bit of blood lust in the end. Always interesting to see how a modern director will tackle one of Shakespeare's play in celluloid though. I find it amusing how they stick to the script so loyally. In order to bring Birnham Wood to Dunsinane, the fellows hopped in a logging truck laden with wood...... That was a bit of a stretch. And the scene with the apparitions was basically an orgy which was dumb because I'd say they'd have made more money in DVD sales if it was rated under R16 and could be used in schools. I didn't like that at points they changed the script to 'modern' words (just the odd one). Maybe I just know the play too well so it jarred with me. I guess the overall aim should be for the audience watching the play to understand it.........

I also am trying to watch Saw III. I'm not so into it. I really liked the first two, but this one is becoming formulaic. Not as clever as the other two. Or maybe preceding it with Shakespeare didn't prepare me well........ Bit of a let down anyhow. Maybe since watching the last one I've become pretentious and arthousy (nooooooooo - I still love my Gilmore Girls).

4. Gomez

We may have left our run for tickets a bit late - word on the street is they're not selling any more. Damnit! Anyone for a Saints game instead?

And just in.....

Perusing the Dom Post website I found two things of interest to me.

1) Craig McMillan is a hero

I always knew this. He was on my exemption list. He has always been a lucky charm for Fleming. I do wish I had Sky and could actually watch some cricket...... I would now delete Michael Rapaport from my exemption list. I don't like him in The War at Home.

2) Wills broke up with Kate

That makes me sad! I was living vicariously through her, as a fellow brunette girl named Kate. It was the next best thing to me actually becoming the queen of England (my childhood fantasy). I do wonder what Cassie has to say about that (being a royalist).

Ange's Thing.

Last night was good fun. Ange's flatmate is fun to take the piss out of. We manged to negotiate with him for her to have control of the remote control Monday through Thursday. That is a big concession because he is of the opinion that 'live sports takes precedence'. And we warned him that we would be having a girl-night round there every Tuesday while Dancing With the Stars is on. We may have even talked Blair/Dale into joining us for girl-night. We were all most impressed with Suzanne Paul's performance last week. Mixed reviews about the others.

There was a fairly heated discussion about the merits (or lack thereof) of rugby league. Clint pointed out that a lot of girls he dated have preferred it to union. I pointed out that that may have said more about his class of lady-friend than which sport was best.... To further back up his point he said that he thought girls preferred it because it was a bit simpler than rugby union to follow.... Again, I referred back to how that was more of a reflection on his class of woman.......

I am a rugby league snob - I admit it. HATE the sport. It's just moronic. And everyone who plays it seems to be an absolute knuckle-head. It annoys the heck out of me when they squirm around on the ground trying to eke out penalties and none of them seem to be able to resist a fight. And the jerseys are ugly. So yeah........ That's my anti-league speil. I will not be swayed on this matter.

I got my photo taken by a Japanese tourist at Molly's, whilst dancing with his teddybear (his request). That was odd. He singled me out and my friends parted like the red sea. That photo could end up anywhere......

We tried several times to take the dance-floor by storm, but it just wasn't crankin'. And American Pie is a bloody long song to sustain your dancing through. At the end of it the band thanked us for our enthusiastic singing-along (I like to think that was aimed at me and I also like to think he wasn't being sarcastic.....).

I was quite purposefully holding my liquor well to make up for my new year's eve embarrassment (that is the only other time I've been out with Ange's flatmates and boy do they like to remind me about it). I think other than the odd instance of mildly obnoxious ribbing from me, I was charming and held my decorum well last night.

We ran into a guy we went to school with. He said I looked 'fantastic'. I said, ' I know!' (Monica from Friends style) and walked away. That's all I will say about that so as not to embarrass young Angela.

We briefly explored the new Malt House but it was too crowded and my ex-flatmate (the one I kicked out) was there. The demographic there actually made us feel 'young' for a change.

* * *

Today ...... I wore socks with jandals because it was bloody cold. I even wore them out to Chicky's to get some chicken. It's Upper Cuba St - they're all freaks too.

We watched Little Miss Sunshine. I liked it. They reminded me of my own family. Bless! We liked the grandad and the uncle the best. The little girl was cool too. We've all had those experiences where we had to push-start a van. Good times! Mine was at a basketball tournament in Wanganui. There were certainly laugh-out-loud moments (LOL moments for you funky text writer types). I may add it to my class-room-movie-posters.

My finger is still fairly sore. I suspect severly deep internal bruising.

That is all.

On the Scrapbooking and Laminating channel today.....

Project 1 - The Album

This project involved making a photo album for Ange's birthday. I was trying to hunt down a present yesterday and the best I came up with was a funky lookin' album from Iko Iko (on special!). So today I had to adorn it a bit.

Above: I matched the album title to the colours on the cover. You can't see that, but trust me. I laminated my personal note on the left (just for the hell of it - I had spare laminate).

Step 1

Find lots of photos on laptop. Select and transfer to school network via memory stick.

Above: Photos from our night at Kai in the City, one of me and Ange's patented self-portraits and the posse going lawn bowling (ok - so Ange isn't in that photo, I just like it).

Step 2

Insert pictures into a word document and resize.

Above: The three amigos helping themselves to the buffet at Cassie's birthday dinner this year and some photos from Cassie and Ant's potluck dinner last year.

Step 3

Print out on the school's flash colour printer and hope the rather serious techie guy doesn't tell you off or nark on you.

Above: The nativity scene I made (Ange and me are angels, Cassie and Ken are farmyard animals - thems the breaks) and the three amigos re-enacting a blogging moment.

Step 4

Guillotine. Hope that the incessant creaking noise of the guillotine doesn't annoy the techie guy enough that he comes and tells you off.

Above: A rare photo of Ange in a dress and another of our patented self-portrait serieses.

Step 5

Look up 'vintage wallpaper' and 'scrapbooking paper' on google image search and copy and paste approriate images to word as background patterns. Print out, and again hope techie guy doesn't pay much attention to what you're doing.

Step 6

Guillotine. Quietly.

Step 7

Go home and magic dot it all together. Go for chronological order, but accidentally miss out a page and screw that up. Realise you have lost several photos somewhere along the way.

Step 7

Wrap prettily. Use the ribbon you accidentally dropped in your pumpkin soup when Ange came around unannounced to use your hair straighteners and you had to hurridly pack up her present. Done! Project 2 - The Indoor Netball Team Draws

I laminated them! I pity the fool!

I used to have a nightie with glow in the dark stars on it.

1.
The yawning article was much better than the obesity one. I learnt that yawning is a sub-conscious act (people being watched and monitored are much less likely to yawn) and it is contagious. Also that it is often triggered by a change in your state of being (going from sleepy to awake, or awake to sleep, or interested to bored). Oh, and that I'm not alone in yawning when I'm nervous. Some people yawn just before they're going to play a big sporting event. Oh, and that babies from the end of the first trimester can be seen yawning in the womb. Cute!

There was also an interesting paragraph comparing a yawn to an orgasm. Apparently some people on Prozac trigger orgasms when they yawn as an interesting side effect.

Next I might tackle the autism article. That's an area of interest for me because my brother's on that scale somewhere (probably down the Asperger's Syndrome end) and I've taught a couple of kids with those traits. The definition for Asperger's is widening all the time to the extent where they think a fairly decent sized proportion of the population have some mild form of it - I wouldn't be surprised if I fit into that wider definition. It would explain my apparent lack of tact on occasion (so people say!).

PS - apparently even just reading about yawning, people ar more likely to yawn. Did anyone yawn while reading that?

2.
I read some bits of a thing on Morgan's blog about 'trolling'. I have no idea what trolling is but it's something to do with people who comment on blogs. I wanna do some trolling! It sounds neat. Or maybe some people reading my blog can do some trolling. It would be cool if some grumpy little guy who lived under a bridge was reading my blog! It sounds controversial. Maybe I need to write about some more controversial stuff to ignite some trolling. Like.......... eating live goldfish. For or against?

Internet verbs are fun! Spamming is fun too. Spam - it's ham in a can. Almost as good as tufting, but not quite.

3.
Having finished Series 1 of the G.Girls I have moved back to re watching Series 2. I have a whole new context for it now.

Here's some Gilmore Girls trivia you might not know unless you watched the special features (like meeee). The title song, Where you Lead, is of course a Carole King song. I love Carole King - she has so many great, simple, beautiful songs. But the trivia is that she sings that particular version with her own daughter. How very appropriate for the Gilmore Girls opening credits! They have different surnames, so you might not pick that up without watching the special features (I hope I'm not wrong there - the printing on the screen was very small).

A defining Carole King moment for me was that Divas series they had years ago. In the first series they had all the biggest divas - Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Aretha Franklin. At the end they sang Natural Woman, which is a song that has become an Aretha signature, but which we all should know Carole King actually wrote. Anyhow, at this point in the show Carole comes out for a guest appearance to play piano and sing along. And the only diva who shows her any respect or admiration was Celine. Aretha just sang right over the top of her. I used to like Aretha, but after that I didn't. And while I still don't like Celine's music, I now appreciate that she might be a lovely human being.

4.
Looking forward to Ange's birthday dinner tomorrow. I'm looking forward to eating at Matterhorn. I hear it's good stuff. And the cocktails are tops. I like a good cocktail. Especially if it has bits of mint and lime in it. I've had mixed experiences there though. The first time I ever went there, years ago, I felt very much like the only person who wasn't a Size 8 (or 'fashionable').

Then we went there on Fish's hens night looking for Jack Black. We never did find him.

Oh yeah, and there was the night of my flat's cocktail party. I was the only one out of our group that the bouncer would let in to Matterhorn (what was he thinking?) so I was sent on a search party for Sean The Large American. That was an 'interesting' night. I was lumped with The Teacher Guy. I've actively sought out guys' numbers through their friends twice in my life and both times were disasterous. One took on a mild-mannered stalker persona and the other ended a night of me giving him no positive attention with, 'So which side of the bed is mine?' I have moments of bad judgement, evidently. I blame the alcohol and flattering lighting.

Then the plan is to migrate to Mighty Mighty for more drinks and chitterchatter. I like the big red velvet curtains that make it look like a magic show. And, of course, the big jugs of Sassy Red (the beer, not Ange).

5.
My basketball game got cancelled tonight. That would usually make me happy because it would mean I got to stay for all of pub quiz night.... but nobody was going. So my two fun Thursday night events were both off. Do I sound a little sad there? On so many different levels....

Play-doh food.

The obesity article was much harder work. Lots of statistics and finicky things about BMI (Body Mass Index). I think it was trying to undemonise being obese and show that statistics that have been used about mortality rates have been biased and similar studies could be done for being underweight too.

Also comforting that at any one time 75% of Americans are trying to lose or maintain weight. That fits with my observations of people. Almost all my female friends are in that category (myself included). Even if it's just that pesky 2kgs that are the difference between 'acceptable weight' and 'slightly concerning weight'. And then there's Sam, who loses weight he didn't need to lose without even trying. Bastard!

It has put me off reading scientific articles (albeit the best American ones of the year). But I shall persevere. Maybe the one about how yawning is in fact contagious on a psychological level will win me back.

* * *

The Gilmore Girls (Series 1) has been more satisfying. Luke must be modelled on Rhett Butler. He rules. It's nice to be reminded of all the back-stories that developed over the other serieseses. And I've just met the elusive Rachel (the one who broke Luke's heart).

* * *

I went and bought espresso coffee from the supermarket and cranked up my machine for the first time in about a year.

It was good. Coffee helps me read scientific articles. Well, it helps me read them faster, anyhow.

* * *

I thought I'd lost something. But I found it under my bed. What a cliche!

One of those books with lots of words and no pictures.

The Game of Champions (and computers)

I found a copy of the elusive 1st season of The Gilmore Girls today. I knew it existed out there at $39.99 and searched hard until I tracked it down.

Then to balance out my shopping and stop my brain from rotting away during the holidays, I bought a book called 'The Best American Science Writing 2006'.

The first article was about chess programmes - those ones that beat grandmasters (I love the term 'grandmaster'). The kind that beat Kasparov. I love Kasparov. I briefly wanted to marry him. I read his biography back in my chess phase in the late 90s. I liked him and Tal. Tal was just a crazy mo-fo who did lots of psychological stuff to put the other player off as well as having a slashing kinda style, and Kasparov beat Karpov who was the epitome of anal-ness. My brother was a Fischer fan. Fischer was one crazy fellow too (there seems to be a motif here - grandmasters are all a little nutty?). I think in the end he thought aliens were after him and became a hermit.

So that was an easy start for my reading foray into the science world. It needs to be easy because I quit science after fifth form. Though, let it be noted, I got 90% for it in School Cert.

It kinda made the point that these computer programmes are getting so advanced that they're seeing possibilities that even humans wouldn't have considered. Moves that a bunch of grandmasters can sit around and watch and have no idea where they're going with certain moves until deep into the game. Moves that contradict opening and endgames that have been staples for decades.

Some former grandmaster guy said, 'Computers helped me to discover a number of fundamentally new positions that no one had ever expected, some of which were outstandingly beautiful.' I love that a board game can be 'outstandingly beautiful.' And another top ranked player said he played crazy moves people weren't expecting - moves that are 'computeresque'.

That point being that computers can almost be creative or intuitive...... rather than just robotic. Real players do well by imitating the play of computers, not the other way around. It's a switch in the programming style, which previously tried to create computers that mimicked the playing style of certain grand-masters.

But I don't know if I buy it. I don't know if I want to buy it. I think all us real chess fans appreciate the difference between a move that will win the game and a move that will win the game elegantly. I like the image of a computer programme being ruthless and robotic (like Karpov). Not elegant and creative (like my hero, Kasparov).

It's one of those sad frontiers that has been crossed though, when there are computer programmes that no human can beat. It's one of those things that everybody knew could be done, but maybe it sh0uldn't be. I don't like that a game full of guts and grace and creativity can basically be broken down into probability and statistics. Where's the fun and psychological warfare in that?

There was this sad little story about a fairly good player out there who was playing against some internet opponent and became convinced it was Bobby Fischer (he who became a hermit and disappeared from the world chess scene at his peak). He even said to the Sunday Telegraph that the games were 'what an undiscovered Mozart symphony would be to a music lover'. Anyhow..... turns out it was just a computer programme the was playing, and the guy running it had purposely made a few errors at the beginning to dig the computer a hole to work its way out of as an experiment, which it did with a certain amount of flair. Disappointing!

Anyhow. One article down, many many more to go. I might delve into whether or not there really is an obesity epidemic or if it's just a theory that's been popularised by scientists commissioned by the diet industry now.....

* * *


And since my science book reading project is such a lofty goal, I thought buying some pretty new earrings would help. I concentrate better while wearing pretty earrings.

* * *

Chess advice my dad gave me during my Year of Chess.

1) Spend the early part of the game establishing a strong hold over the centre. Work your centre pawns out in a V-formation so that they're backing each other up and then work the bishops and knights out to defend the pawns or attack your opponent's ones. This is the part where you're digging your trenches and lining up your soldiers. You're both sussing out who has the best weapons and who'll do better if you actually attack...... Once you think you have the upper-hand, then go for it..... but there's nothing wrong with patience. A good game's a long game.

2) If you can get your knights working together you can get a strong position. This isn't essential, but it's neat when it happens. They're the only piece in a chess game that can jump over other pieces, so they're much more useful than other pieces at the beginning when the board is crowded. They can cause a good fork (where you move to a square where you'll be able to take two different pieces, so your opponent can only save one of them).

3) Don't be afraid of forcing an exchange as long as you'll come out better off (maybe you lose the same number of pieces, but you force them to double-up their pawns). The good old sacrificial pawn..... I like getting rid of a few pieces to open up the game and will try to take away the pieces my opponent likes the best :)

4) Don't bring Queenie out too early (you'll just have to waste moves retreating her if she gets threatened - wait til she has room to move, then let her fly).

5) The worst thing you ever have to do is take back a move. It wastes two turns. It's better to do something tiny like move a pawn forward than to do something dramatic that you will just have to retreat from.

6) Sometimes the only defence is a counter-attack. If someone traps a piece of yours, form a distraction somewhere else on the board by threatening one of their pieces to buy time. Don't give up hope too soon! It's like Black Hawk Down..... that's your little guy out there, do your damnedest to get him back to safety!

7) The basic values are: pawn (1), knight/bishop (3), rook (5), queen (8) and king (invaluable). So, for example sacrificing a bishop and a pawn to take your opponent's rook could be a good thing to do.

8) Try to avoid pawn islands (broken rows of pawns)

9) Try to avoid doubling up pawns (having two in the same row because you've taken a piece with one of them).

10) When you place your piece down on the board give a 'knowing look'. It will make your opponent think you have some devious plan somewhere down the line. They hate it when they think you see something they don't.

Had his his hurts before? Ay, on the front.

Another photo of a Gollum. They crave media attention.

I'm trying to use Macbeth quotes in real life as often as possible (in my head, anyhow - saying them aloud seems a tad eccentric).

I feel satisfied to have exited today's sporting marathon with my hurts in battle. According to the wise people in Macbeth it's ok to die (or lose) as long as you have your hurts while trying. There's honour in that!

If you pay attention (and I will do a quiz one day, to reward the people who read my blog word-for-word) you might have heard me give a nana-speil about hurting my finger last week. What were the chances of catching a ball on exactly the same finger this week? 1/10, I'd say. That's fairly slim!

I have also put me back out a little. I blame John Ball. I'm coming to the conclusion that he is to blame for most things in this world. I'm sure I had to move more quickly than my body was capable of at some stage today, trying to guard him at basketball, resulting in my back protesting. He's a pesky little blighter.

Ah, good times!

* * *

Note my new duvet cover. I like it.