The sweet sweet smell of bander sheets

Pan's Labyrinth

I went to see this yesterday with Ange. We liked it. It was more than I expected. I thought it was gonna be a kids' movie, but it deserved its R16 rating well.

It was more of an allegory about loss of innocence or the blood-shed of innocence, set in the Spanish Civil War in the 1940s and centering on a young girl who sees the faun and believes she is the missing Princess of the underworld. As Ange pointed out, it had lots of elements of different fairy-tales wrapped up in it. If I knew my classics I'd probably have understood all the allusions better.

Anyhow, it was a good old fashioned gothic story. Lovely visually and some great moments of gore and torture. Takes quite a bit to have a modern audience squirming in their seats, but there were definitely a few times Ange was covering her face with her hoody. The guy with eyes in his hands was fabulous! He was the stuff of nightmares, with sickeningly white skin hanging off his bones and the blood of fairies around his mouth.....

Actually, I think this movie represented fairies in the way they're supposed to be. Kinda devious.

I also liked that I recognised the odd bit of Spanish from the 100-level paper I took at uni. 'La puta' seemed to come up quite a bit.

Can't wait to see what Richard has to say about it on his site :) I love how he personalises his scoring system to the movie he's rating (took me a while to click to that - I was thinking that scoring things out of 300 was a bit random at first....).

The next movie I'm looking forward to is Zodiac. Nothing else on at Reading took our fancy. A lot of crap looking action movies.

* * *

My favourite $3 pre-movie snack is still the roti with peanut sauce from Satay Kingdom (I could have the wrong name there) in the food court. They serve it so quickly! And you get to sit in those ornate wooden tables and chairs.....

* * *

Dancing with the Stars starts tomorrow. Jolly good! I'm not to psyched about this year's lineup though, other than Frank Bunce. I could see him being quite dapper.... Me and Ange are going to watch it together every week. Anyone who wants to join us for this ritual is most welcome.

Our male flatmates are less likely to overthrow us from our TV watching seats if we have a group of people.....

* * *

Seems to be allergy season. Me and Ange both were sneezing yesterday. Is it true that tanines are bad for allergies? I heard that once from a pharmacist. He said that drinking alcohol while you have allergies kicks them into 'turbo-allergies'. My experiences of drunken-sneezy nights back this theory up. Clayton said something about that last night too.

I should be a more well-known fact. I might dedicate some time and energy to promoting this information.

* * *

Me and young Cass are going to donate blood tomorrow. It's a good thing to do. And, of course, we may turn it into a competition. She will win though. Her blood flows like a mighty river. Mine is an ambling stream. I have discovered that you wanna drink a LOT of water before donating. That seems to up the pace a little.

It's one of the few things I do in life that I know is going to hurt but I do it anyhow - voluntarily. Usually I procrastinate about that kind of thing.

* * *

Procrastinators - the leaders of tomorrow

Party

Above: The front of the party invite designed by Scooter. He's a very talented little brother! Every detail was painstakingly done from scratch.

Cassie (and Ant's) Engagement Party

It was one of those affairs where they brought around platters of food, each one with a new delicacy on it. I like that. Particular favourites with myself and Ryan were the devils on horseback (prunes in bacon) and some dip with coriander in it. Many times I was too slow and the platter passed me on by, but I altered my style and started actually following the platter around. That's tactics.

We got to meet Cassie's wee brother, Scooter. He complimented me on the my use of type-face in my blog. I was most flattered. He followed that by saying he'd used Cassie's mock-up of what she wanted him to make her party invites like as an example of 'what-not-to-do' in one of his lectures on typography stuff. Funny! Cass was most offended. Apparently it's not the 'done thing' to use five different typefaces on an invite. Who knew?

The party really got cranking once Cass put on her 'Best of the 80s' CD. Ryan was a one-man dance show. He got his groove on with moves such as 'the skier' and 'the giraffe'.

There were some classic lines....

Anthony: My mother is NOT a MILF!

Cassie: (hassling Francis about some pizza shop guy......)
Kate: You can't talk, Cass. I got one word for you - carnie!

It was a nice touch that the only speech of the night was Anthony getting everyone's attention so that we could sing happy birthday to Angela. Ken had spoiled the cake-surprise by coming over to our group and loudly saying in his 'whisper' voice that there was a cake and he suspected someone at the party was having a birthday (right in front of Ange). I tried to shush him, at which point Francis added, 'No, there's definitely a cake - I've seen it too.' Ange squirmed.

Above: The pile of towels me and Ange got as our present for Cass and Ant. Big fluffy ones in her requested 'mauve' and associated colours. Having helped Cassie tidy her room a couple of years back (which was a full two day project) I understood her need for matching linen. In addition to her hoard of 7 different duvet covers, she had a mishmash of dozens of different towels. She has now been instructed to search and destroy. No more crappy odd towels, you hear me!

There was a table full of presents. Me and Ange managed to buy the most biggest present - that was quite satisfying. It was a pile of towels. We actually had to put ours on top of lots of other presents so that they would all fit on the table. It was unavoidable - honest. Me and Francis (the other bridesmaid) tried to fulfill our present-opening and recording duty, but Cass would have none of that. She said we're going to have to save it all for the wedding day. Pity!

We made do with picking up and shaking each present and having a good guess at what was in each one. We suspect there are several platters, a vase, some wine glasses and a picture frame (among other things). We coerced Anthony into opening one of them while Cassie wasn't looking. His trickery was not appreciated and we got a good telling off from her.

I had almost a whole box of chocolate covered coffee beans. That's a good pick-me-up! I almost bounced a small child off the trampoline.

Many thanks to Joan (Ant's mum) who I think did a lot of preparation stuff before and on the night. She is becoming Cass's surrogate north island mummy. Aww! The garden was a myriad of twinkling fairy lights and the gazebo was impressive (after having taken 3 hours to put up and having almost caused the end of what was a beautiful relationship between Cass and Ant). That's what happens when you lose the instructions.....

I loved the bit where Cassie loudly came over to the group we were chatting in and said, 'Ange and Kate - there's a single man over there!' (evidently the only one at the party). The single man then proceeded to come over to us and try to strike up conversations. He seemed particularly fond of standing right beside me. I suspect there was match-making afoot. Unfortunately for him, the idea of dating Anthony's prodigee seems somewhat strange to me......... It would upset the hierarchy of things.

* * *

That'll do.

* * *

I am up to page 103 in the book Sam lent me in December last year. 1/4 of the way through. I'm a slow reader. I'm up to 'F' (each chapter is a different letter of the alphabet).

* * *

PS - I think I may have just spelt Francis's name wrong (is it Frances?) all through that. I get confused because my Mum's maiden name was Francis. But in retrospect I think when it's a girl's name you spell it with the E....... But I can't be bothered going back and changing it. Sorry!

How to make a delightful crocheted tea-cosy....

Walking.

It was a gorgeous day. As Ange pointed out, it was 'crisp' (that signifies 'birthday weather' to her - which is tomorrow, by the way) but sunny.

I woke up on this my first day of holidays.... to three texts. Silly people were texting me early in the morning. On the first day of holidays. Cruel.

In typical form Ange managed to wrangle me out of bed before 10am to go for a walk with her. We walked and mused about things girlie. People jogging past us may have heard some juicy tid-bits of gossip. She had an interesting dream about 'things' falling off..... Ask her about it some time.

Anyhow, we walked for a good hour and twenty minutes.

Balling.

I don't care what Sam says, when I text him saying I've been '...balling with Morgue, Jono and Ben....' it all about the basketballing. I dunno what he's thinking of.

We balled for hours. It was good. I would so much rather play basketball every day than go to a gym. The Davie boys were beating each other up in the key, elbows flying every which way, and Jono was running hot from the outside and Big Joe was running everything from his seat in the shade. There were all these little basketball junkies that were hanging around the court, waiting to be invited to play. Good stuff.

Pity I can't get my layups in! We mighta won EVERY game if they had, instead of just most of them :)

I hurt my finger a little (but you wouldn't have noticed 'cause I'm tough). I was showing off the bruises later that night at .....

Gaming.

I turned up a wee bit (couple of hours) late and missed some crazy pirate board game they were in the middle of. It sounded confusing. There were sailors and fame points and parrots and cannon cards. I ate my Subway while they duked it out.

Anyhow, I had a game of Evo which involves excavating pyramids. Me and Sam combined to make one team. He only did that so that I couldn't beat him. He's scared of my game-playing prowess. And he knows that if I don't stand a chance of winning the game I'll just try to take him down with me. We lost by two points in a cliff-hanger. We'll get 'em next time. Richard was not a bastard - he kept out of our way.

Then Fish borrowed my laminator for some laminating business. It's in hot demand. That was a pun!

Home Again.

I got home to find the boys sprawled on the couch in their matching slippers. They're so cute. I heard the story of how Clayton was having some beers up in the Love Shack last night, and was about to come back down to the house. So he was standing just outside the Shack's door and started saying, 'Whoa.... I don't feel very well....' and he lost his balance, fell backwards and literally rolled down the hill.

Hilarious! Paul was telling the story with tears in his eyes. Anyone who's ever walked up to the Shack understands how well you would roll down it if you were drunk. It's steep. And Clayton's always endearing when he's drunk. He just gets giggley. I wish I could see an instant replay.

* * *

And that's that. Holidays are good! I have lots of little plans interspersed with my sleeping in and shopping.... should be good.

Looking forward to Cass and Ant's engagement soiree tomorrow night. That's three nights in a row I'll be spending in the Hutt. I'll be picking up the accent soon.....

Selecting.

Here's a random photo from the archives. Damon has inspired me to dredge it up. Me and James have both grown our hair out a bit. I believe we are watching an All Blacks game on Kirsten's bed at Fish and Sam's engagement party. Something like that.

Good old Booner.

* * *

I got to select the basketball teams at school today. I don't know if I like the pressure! But both the coaches deferred to me for the final selections. I tossed up a few names..... It's not nice knowing that you could have just stunted the dreams of some young player. On the other hand, I'm sure I made a few people happy.

In both teams there were about 9 or 10 obvious choices, but hard to separate after that. I might have got a bit inventive (ie - that girl's mum usually provides transport, so she's handy to have..... that girl's never played basketball, but she's tallish....... that girl's sisters are pretty good, so she must have potential.......).

* * *

I saw about a minute of Morg and Jono's game tonight. It was confusing since they left the court, then went back on for a jump-ball, then fouled someone and the game was over. Then I figured out it was 'golden goal'. That sucks. We had to play that once. I guess it's better than a draw. But not much.

The one time we had it it was the final of our grade. And the coach was yelling at us, 'The most important thing is to WIN THE JUMP-BALL. Whoever wins the jumpball will probably win the game. Kate - it's up to you.' At this point I thought (or maybe even said out loud), 'F***. I never win jump balls! I don't think I've won one all season.'

But I'll be darned, I did win it! I tapped it straight to a player from our team..... they fumbled it and got a back-over-half call. Then the other team scored and won the game.

Bugger it.

I have made my difference.

We all go into the teaching profession hoping to do that. I think I have now achieved my greatness.

I made my Year 12 Media class analyse a couple of scenes from Amelie. And now lots of them have gone out and bought the DVD or hired the movie or dug it up from their parents' collections.

My job is done.

* * *

I am also putting my laminator to use by printing out movie posters of all of my favourite (underR18) movies to pin up on my classroom wall. My classes of minions shall flock to them and become just like me.

I told them all to see The Heart of the Game (it is one of my posters).

Laminating rocks. But you can't laminate rocks (not literally).

* * *

I was helping to finish off the Year 9 quilt today. It is a gift from our year group to the retiring principal. I got bored last week and made four panels for it (out of 130 completed panels that makes me the dominant contributor - it's quantity, not quality!).

Today I was helping with the 'tufting'. I love that as a verb. I found 'tufting' very relaxing.

And now the yang.

Hello adjudicators, chairperson and ladies and gentlemen. Today we are debating the topic of 'Cell phones are a good thing'. I am now affirming the moot. We have defined 'good' as favourable and beneficial.

I would firstly like to rebut the point made that most texts are from people giving bad news. While the first text I got today was, in fact, from someone saying they couldn't play netball tonight, I then got two texts from someone else suggesting an alternative player. That is a ratio of 2:1 in favour of helpful texts to annoying ones.

I like that on cell-phones you can give people nicknames. That's a good thing. For example, Sam is 'Sam the Eagle' and Cassie is 'Cassinova'. I like how Ange has saved Cassie as 'Cassie!' (with an exclamation mark). I do believe at least one person has me saved on their phone as 'Mango'. It makes me laugh to see these nicknames come up on my screen. Sometimes it is good to laugh, especially if your dog has just died.

Also, there are people in this world who are late. I am not one of them, but I have come into contact with such people. For them, the cell-phone is a good means of alerting their rendez-vous-people to their impending tardiness and giving a new ETA. It is a thoughtful and proactive use of the cell-phone. It allows the person sitting by themselves in the cafe, waiting, to animatedly respond to the text by rolling their eyes and mouthing 'He's just running late' to anyone who happens to be looking. This lets them avoid looking like a loner, which is a bad thing.

Cell phones also can have cool ring tones. My phone does not because it is cheap and oldish. It does not have what they call 'polyphonic ringtones'. I did, however, programme in the tune to 'The Gambler' one day when I was bored. It sounds vaguely like Kenny Rogers' version and sometimes cheers me up when I hear it because it is a happy song about winning money.

My third point is that cell-phones have calculators in them. Sometimes this is very useful. It is useful if you need to calculate a phone bill.

That is what I like about cell-phones. They are all good things about them.

Thank you and I hope that I have proved that cell-phones are a good thing.

* * *

The above speech would gain a 7/10 in Year 9 English.

* * *

The funniest thing was did at t-coll was maths-debate, eh Fish.

* * *

I once acciedentally assigned both teams in a debate to the same side of the argument. I made them do the debate anyhow. It was farcical. One of the girls was also losing her voice, so could only manage a highpitched whispery squeeky noise. That is one of only two times that I actually have had uncontrollable laughter as a teacher. I got in trouble for it.

The other time was when a group of students were doing a scene from Macbeth where a messenger comes in. The messenger pre-empted their cue by bursting in three times before they were actually supposed to. I laughed by the third time.

* * *

I coached a Year 9 debating team once. They didn't win a single debate. What I didn't realise as a young first year teacher was that you don't actually just sit back and let the students write their own speeches..... Novice mistake! I think I would have been a great debater if I'd taken it up as a sport. I might just start debating against myself more often. I think I have found an intellectual purpose for my blog!

Please ensure all cell phones are turned off.

As a teacher I consider cell-phones with a healthy amount of suspicion and disdain. It is an inbred reaction in me to prick my ears up at the unmistakable sound of keys tapping or the dull vibration of a message alert, even when the offending item is buried deep inside the bowels of a school-bag. It’s like a reverse Pavlov’s dogs thing. I have become negatively conditioned. Cell phone noise = people having the nerve to not pay me their full attention.

I have learnt to notice the down-turn of eyes and the buried hand under the desk. I even appreciate the blind hand fumbling for keys inside a skirt pocket. The tricks are many. I consider mid-class requests to go to the bathroom as occasions warranting a pat-down of girls’ pockets. I have had children claim a parent is dying in order to win my sympathy and stop me from confiscating their precious phone.

Thus, my first instinct when I see a cell-phone out during a public event is to want to confiscate it. It doesn’t matter if it is in a movie-theatre, or a colleague during staff briefing. There’s something rude about not being able to give the event at hand your full attention. I feel impotent when it’s a fellow adult and I can’t actually order them to stop texting. I see it as a public act of defiance.

Alternatively, it is an example of good etiquette when you’re on a date with someone and they purposefully leave their phone in the car. It shows that they aren’t looking forward to a text from anybody but you, and since you’re with them there’s no point in having the phone around. I like that. It’s one of those things smooth guys do very pointedly. Smooth guys always get the girls for a reason. They’re good at what they do.

Blatantly receiving a text message while talking to someone in person is the modern equivalent of whispering into someone’s ear whilst cupping your hand so nobody else can see. There’s something clandestine and rude about being in the middle of a conversation with one person, and simultaneously getting a private message from someone else (and replying). You wouldn’t actually have the gall to do that physically (walk over and interrupt the conversation) but it’s become somewhat socially acceptable to do it in text. It’s an adult version of passing notes maybe. And there’s a certain paranoia you can feel, being the one who can’t see what the note’s about.

And really, 99.9% of texts are not urgent. If they were urgent the person would have called. Or hunted you down in person, the old-fashioned way. Most of them can wait until you discretely excuse yourself to go to the bathroom (assuming you don’t get the pat-down on the way and have your true purpose discovered).

That is my rant.

It stems from Friday night. I was at a function for our principal who is retiring. Various guests of honour were giving heart-felt speeches paying homage to her. And while this was happening, a bunch of youngish people a the back of the hall were busy typing on their phones. Since they’d recently left school I couldn’t say a damned thing to them. It was frustrating. All I could do was look in their general direction with a furrowed brow and give them my mildly disapproving look. The one I’m perfecting for when I’m middle-aged.

Of course, this rant would be much less passionate if I was looking forward to a text. I currently have no potential texts that excite me. I’ve had eras where there were several people who could spark my interest with a spontaneous text. The thinly disguised ‘I’m thinking about you’ texts that perk up your day. Nowadays I’m more likely to get a text from someone at the last minute saying they can’t play indoor netball. The cell phone is a source of disappointment and frustration! Or the cringe-worthy break-up text. This is another modern phenomenon that highlights how impersonal and cowardly we can be. Though, my house has a lot of windows so I’m not throwing stones here.

I think I’m done.

Tomorrow I might write an opposing thesis, gushing about the brilliance of the cell. It can be my good good friend while sitting lonely in a café waiting for friends to arrive.

Lazy Sunday

Morgan was right (should I ever have doubted that?). The Heart of the Game is a great little basketball documentary. I was actually physically on the edge of my seat when they were playing in the final tournament. I was quite caught up in it. Another film I'd thoroughly recommend. Possibly more fun if you're into basketball (I was surprised at how blimin' GOOD the girls are over there - it's highlight reel stuff, twisting in the air and cross-overs and finger-rolls) but I think anyone would be drawn in by the people in it. Nice little cinderella story with lots of personal struggles.

I loved that he got this team of girls to yell out 'MAKE THEM BLEED!' as part of their chant.

I also watched The Three Burials with my flatmate. It started kinda slowly, with a very confusing plot that had three different time-zones going on. But after that it got kinda quirky. Certainly not predictable. Tommy Lee Jones was nutty in a good way. My flatmate thought there was too much unresolved at the end. Possibly right.

* * *

I had my now ritual early morning text from Ange suggesting a debriefing brunch to go over the weekend's events and non-events. I pre-empted her saying 'I'll be around in five minutes' by suggesting we meet in half an hour. That meant I had time to look for clean clothes for a change. And wash.

We went to Maranui. We saw a cute little toddler walking along outside on the footpath. And he had on a cute little red tshirt and jean-shorts and a hat and bare feet. His parents were carrying his shoes so that he could purposely walk through the sand that had gathered on the side of the footpath. We liked that.

One cafe is never enough these days, so we then ventured into the city for our post-brunch coffee. Ended up settling on Starbucks again (yes, further confirmation that we care not about slave-labour and the chain-store syndrome). I got the blackberry-raspberry juice blend. I was parched. Ange branched out from her usual latte and got a banana-coconut frappa. She was impressed. Say what you want about Starbucks, but they have the best selection of iced drinks. I like a good iced drink.

The Starbucks on Willis St is a great place for people-watching.
We saw
- a lady who may have been pregnant, but also may have had an unfortunately large belly
- some unfortunately red-headed people (Ange has standards for gingas - some don't cut the mustard)
- a female couple who looked similar and we dressed the same, holding hands
- a hot guy who got a coffee and newspaper from our Starbucks
- some twins I teach
- a guy she's met before who makes chocolate cakes and is as camp as a row of tents

People are funny things.

* * *

Ange is now Aunty Ange. Her little sister had a bubby. That's fun! I don't think I'll ever get the chance to be a genetic aunty. My brother is unlikely to ever reproduce.

* * *

Only four days of school to go. And what with our end of term retirement celebrations for the principal, there's really only two and a half days to go. I think I can manage that. Then I'll sleep all day on Friday. Ah, the holidays. And figure out what to buy for Cass and Ant's engagement party.

* * *

I think I am the only one yet to be sucked into Coronation St.... I am fighting the good fight................... Peers all around me are succombing. I think I can manage turning 30 this year, so long as I haven't become addicted to Coro St. I'll still be young at heart then.

On the other hand.... I'm very much looking forward to a new series of Dancing with the Stars. What's not to like? Though, I was shocked at the news of another affair happening between contestants last year. I think if I had a famous husband I'd not let him on that show.

Friday Night - Nothing to do

I was wandering aimlessing around the top of Courtenay Place last night (as I often do) when, quite by chance, I ran into Morgan. I followed him to the Welsh Dragon. As chance may have it, there were more people he knew. One of those fortuitous random events! As it turns out it was recently Morgan's birthday, so everyone was glad to have run into him.

I bet Sam at pool. That very rarely happens, so I will be reliving it for a while now. He will be reminded many times. I do believe there were three of his balls left on the table when I finished. SAM IS USELESS - KATE IS THE BEST! (I never said I was gracious in victory.) He made the old excuse of small tables favouring the weaker player, but I refuse to accept that reasoning. You're only as good as your last game.

Some cranky old fella scolded Sam for having started a game of singles (on a long-empty-at-that-stage pool-table). He seemed a little strange. I briefly thought he was one of Morgan's friends..... and was questioning his judgement.... But it turns out he was just a publican, unconnected to us.

I reacquainted myself with the lovely Svend as we formed a formidable guard at either side of the door. We talked about his mammoth encyclopaedia collection and quilting. I caught up with a few Ultimate players who remembered me from my four game stint last year. I was reassured by Sam The Second that Ultimate is the only sport where you have a 'hammer-throw'...... That harks back to a question at pub-quiz that I was vetoed on. People never listen to me! And there was wee Fraser too.

For some reason I like to write Ultimate with a capital letter. It seems fitting.

Evidently their Ultimate club has expanded to three teams and has plans of dominating the world. Their tentacles are spreading.....

Richard had on a lovely shirt with a funky stripes and paisley thing going on.


I will make the next bit small type because very few (if any) people will be interested. Michelle pointed that out last night after we'd talked about 1980s basketball players for long enough..... While remembering people like Andrew Toney and Danny Ainge is fun for us basketball fans, it's somewhat dull for others.

I was unimpressed by Ben and Jono's ignorance about things basketbally :) For those of you unfamiliar with Michael Cooper, one of the all-time great defenders, here is a picture of him. As I said last night, he used to wear long socks so that his almost-blind grandmother could pick him out on the TV screen. Awwww! Nowadays it's trendy, but back then it was original.
In his 12-year NBA career, he was named to eight NBA All Defensive Teams, including five First Teams. He won the NBA Defensive Player of the Year Award in 1987. In the 1983-84 season Laker Michael Cooper ranked second in the league in three pointers made with just 38. (wikipedia). That is the best 3-point statistics I could verify, but I'm sure he was right up there in terms of 3-point shots made in playoff games (in the late 80s anyhow - before they moved it in and small children and grandmothers could start shooting them).

In my research to find those things I realised that Scottie Pippen actually is one of the greatest players ever (statistically - not just in my honest and biased opinion). He's in the top ten all-time stats for heaps of things. Good on him! I totally missed the end of his career due to not having Sky and not caring about a league where boxing-out was a thing of the past and refs seemed to have forgotten the intricacies of the travelling rule (as long as the three or four steps ending in a dunk).

What else.....

* * *

Norfolk and Chance is becoming a pub-quiz team to be reckoned with. Anchored by Sam the Trivia Man, we have developed a good wee crew. The quiz-master gives us our props as a weekly contender. This week we came second, though only by a few points.

We were only beaten by a team that's anchored by a fellow from my school. He was dux the year before I was. Smart people from Levin seem to be the common link.... LEVIN IS A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!

* * *

My impulse-buy-blue-dress is getting excellent use. I estimate that I've won it over half a dozen times. I wore it last night to a function at school and tonight Ange is borrowing it for a cocktail party. My goal of wearing it until I get it down to $10-per-wear is within sight.

* * *

I went to Borders today, the new bookshop on Lambton Quay. Ange said it's the Starbucks of bookstores. Sam pointed out that Maori language books are filed with 'Foreign Language' books. A series of the Gilmore Girls goes for $59.99 (you can usually get the early serieses for $39.99 from the CD Store).

I do, however, like the range of notebooks and stationery. Funky colourful little numbers. I bought a notebook that has black and red and green pages in it.

And after that I got a banana-java-chip-frappachino from Starbucks.

I AM A CONSUMER! And it was a damned good frappa.

Some rugby player guy from the Bulls tried to push in front of me in the line at Starbucks. The line was obviously going back out the door, and he tried to sidle in through the side..... I stepped very pointedly in front of him when it was my turn. I'll not be bullied by tall Seth Efrican rugby players! Starbucks is the great equaliser - his fame means nothing there. We all pay $5.80 for our coffee and that's all that matters to them.

* * *

I might have a nana-nap now. We stayed out til 2.30am last night. That's way past my bedtime! It reminded me of my youth............ Back when I walked 10 miles in the snow every day just to buy a 1cent lolly at the dairy. Those were the days.

Go....

...mez are apparently coming to Wellington some time in about a month. I'm dead keen to go to that concert! It's at the Bath-house. Snug wee venue. $48 or so.

Sounds good to me.

Can someone else organise a posse to go?

* * *

I helped Paul carry a couch up to the sleep-out today. If you have seen the location of the sleep-out (or 'love-shack' as he calls it) you will know that is a feat worth reward. I got me a beer for it.

He's calling it the 'love seat'. It is intentionally small so that any girl unfortunate enough to have to 'crash' at his shack will say, 'Excuse me, Paul. This couch is not comfortable for sleeping on - can I share your king-single bed?'

If that tactic fails, he says he will tell them he has no spare linen and throw them a towel.

The dude is a smoooooth operator! The worrying thing is that he may in fact score using those tactics. Life is unfair.

* * *

While watching Target tonight with my flatmates and discussing real life incidents of tradespeople doing dodgey things in people's homes I realised something.

Bloody tradesmen must've stolen my favourite bra last year. There is no other logical explanation. Damnation! I'm not like Ange; I don't just lose underwear. I always wear it home with me.

Rats.

I watched 'The Departed' tonight with my two xy-chromosome flatmates. One of them asked me, 'Are you gonna watch it?' and I replied, 'Yeah - as much as I can handle,' knowing that Scorsese movies usually bore me.

One of my students had the misfortune of doing an assignment on him last year in Media and realising that she hated his films. Something about every single female character being either a wife they fucked around on or a whore. This movie did not change that image.

But I liked it. It had a clever plot running through it. And my goodness, Leonardo has filled out well! Plus he can act. Anyhow... I really liked it. I found myself looking at the timer on the DVD player and being sad that there was only 20 minutes or so to go. I was enjoying getting to know the characters. So there's an earnest recommendation for the non-Scorsese fan out there. Watch it anyhow.

My big question is what did the ending mean?

I think it was simple. The dude who shot the dude in the last scene (names omitted in case anyone hasn't seen it and doesn't want it ruined) was doing it out of revenge. Plain and simple. It had to do with what was in the yellow envelope.

BUT my flatmate thinks it's some kind of conspiracy theory and that because there was a rat on the banister outside that was symbolic of the dude who lived being the ultimate rat.

I think he's reading too much into it.

* * *

Our flat is literally full of rats. But they've taken the bait. We are now sitting back and waiting for the sweet sweet smell of rotting rat corpses to waft through the kitchen....

* * *

The guy Morgan was defending tonight at indoor thought he was in a Scorsese movie, I think. All that, 'You wanna start something? If that's the way you want it to be.... I'm just warning ya that I'm bigger than you.... But if you wanna start something.....'.

Another example of someone being a jackass within the contexts of social sports. It's just not cricket. I hate that they won. His reaction woulda been precioius if they'd lost.

Now and Then. Have we changed?

Top Ten ....

Feel free to chip in ideas.

1) Top Ten fashion disasters of my teenage years
2) Crayola crayon colours
3) Vegetables to use as weapons in a fight
4) Unlikely names for a Super 14 rugby team
5) Flavours to combine with peanut-butter on toast
6) Things it is impossible to do quietly when drunk
7) People you would not want to have to sexually pleasure
8) Habits you have dropped over the years
9) Things you have done once and will never ever do again
10) Items of 90s fashion you hope will come back 'in' soon

My answers:
1) The Fringe.
2) Periwinkle
3) A marrow
4) The Blossoms
5) NOTHING. Other than butter. Only freaks and loonies put things like cheese or banana or jam with it. GROSS.
6) Take off your high heels (they must be throw across the room and bang noisly against things)
7) Paul Holmes. He is a yucky yucky little man.
8) I used to have to tuck the bottom of my sheet in before I went to bed. Now it's all over the place. My standards have dropped.
9) Ange knows. We discussed it today.
10) Slip dresses

* * *

The top photo is me and Chrissie cutting Fish's hair at t-coll. We were both drunk. She was insane to let us near her hair with clippers. It ended up being a #4 all over. Oopsie! Below that is a picture six years later of me straightening her hair. Much safer.

Note that Sam managed to get a double-ass shot in there. Nice one! Note also (for those of you unlucky enough to never have seen the inside of my bedroom) the ridiculously expensive but beautifully flat screen on my TV. I am wearing my aforementioned fat-top - the luxury of never having to pull it down over my midriff!

* * *

Me and Ange had a self-indulgent day (becoming a trend). We went to a cafe and mused about the world over iced coffee and scrambled eggs. Then we got out five DVDs (three of them utter crap, thanks Ange!). Shaun of the Dead and Jackass: The Movie were good, of course.

We enjoy angsting together. We had similar moments of weakness last night which we regret in hindsight. Instantaneous technological messaging devices are dangerous things when used with improper intentions. There were incidents of a fake-accidental text and an unanswered msn message. *Cringe*.

We were simultaneously happy and depressed by the news that yet another of our school friends is engaged. It seems to be the year of the engagements for my age group (there were a crop about three years ago, another crop now). First my friends Clint and Lu in Levin, then Cass and Ant, a couple of people at work and now my friend Fifi in Levin.

Good thing is that it's another party coming up soon. Venue: The Loaded Hog in LVN, baby.

God - that all sounds negative. It was a fun day! Wallowing and angsting is fun when you do it together! And there were good times ..... We had licorice. And we saw the cutest spaniel puppy ever. Seriously. It was one of thoes copper coloured ones.... and it was little and fluffy and it had a special drink-bottle.

* * *

Well done to Fishy on completing her triathlon! You are a legend!

* * *

I want to marry Johnny Knoxville and Ange wants to marry Bam Magera.

* * *

My flatmate borrowed my alarm clock for a project today. I made him reset it 12 minutes fast when he put it back. Always has to be 12 minutes fast. Not sure why. It just does.

* * *

The war against the rats/mice is continueing at my flat. We have laid out the rat poison gel-pellets and they have been consumed. Let the carnage begin! I had no real bones with the mice until I left a loaf of bread on the bench last week and awoke to find one of the bastards had eaten through both ends of it. I still ate some of the middle pieces it hadn't quite reached.... was that wrong of me????

* * *

I still have issues with how Ang Lee made the new Hulk film. Paul tried to convince me it was fine..... but I have my questions.

* * *

One of my guilty pleasures is that I think I'm the only person at work who uses the elevator to get down and up the two flights of stairs from the car park to the staff room. On mornings where someone happens to be walking up the drive at the same time as me I have to walk up the stairs with them because they give me funny looks if I turn off to use the elevator.... it seems lazy................... But lap-tops are heavy and awkward to carry................................................. And I still have fantasies about being stuck in the elevator and having to get people to relieve my classes while I sit in there and wait to be rescued. It might happen one day.

* * *

The song in my head right now is 'Don't Stop Me Now' by Queen. It was in Shaun of the Dead.

* * *

I missed the Gilmore Girls today. I am trying to ease off that addiction. I was having to watch four or five episodes a day last week. And each one ended on such a cliff-hanger that I couldn't walk away......... Some people have cigarettes or alcohol. I have the zany crew of Star's Hollow. I really wanted to buy the 1st series when I was in town, but I held off. I have a lot of work to do this week............

I am LOVING that fat-lady tops are in at the moment. I just admitted defeat and bought a couple. They are SO comfortable. You know the ones I mean - they come in a bit under the bust (kinda princess line) and then flow out to the hips, quite long. They hide a multitude of sins :) And they'd be great if you were pregnant...... as well as just to hide a paunchy tummy and that muffin-top above your jeans. That is my fashion speil for the day.

I got a stripey one. I almost got red and white stripes... but if I buy any more red and white striped stuff it's going to become comical. I really have almost turned into Wally. So I got turquoise and brown stripes instead (very similar to a long sleeved one I've got - but short sleeves and looooong). Stripes rule. I now have about seven different stripey tops.

* * *

Me and Cass had one of our adventures last night. We like to form break-away groups when we're out with people. When the rest of the posse we were out with last night (for Ken's birthday) went to the Cambridge we pulled back and reversed direction to go to Mighty Mighty. Can you blame us? The Cambridge isn't somewhere I feel comfortable going to in a dress.....

For a $5 cover charge we got to see Meat-Bix play. I have visions of a man in mis-matching socks, a pregnant singer and Kenny G's long-lost identical twin. The highlight was when they played a trippy version of Dr Who. We hopped up and danced with the man in the pig mask. I think he pointed at me and said 'EXTERMINATE!' but the mask obscured his words a little.

I revelled in getting a jug of sassy-red. I just like saying that. Sassy-red.

The rest of the posse found us and joined us at the primo table we had nabbed right at the front of the room. They didn't seem to like Meat Bix as much as us. We were singing along to our 'favourites'. It helped that the singer often just sang noises rather than words ('Aaaaaa-oooooooooh-eeeeeee'). We think we sounded really good.

We then had to follow Ant to Shakers. It reminded me why I don't like Shakers. It's a ..... young crowd. Though I don't think I ever liked it there even when I was young myself (I'm sure there was such a time..... my memories are becoming fuzzy).

Good old Cass! I enjoy our breakaways. We make a good going-out pair because we have fun wherever we are. If it's a stange band playing, we'll still pretend like they're our favourite...... I like like-minded people. And we're happy in our own company. We need not the excitement of other people. And we like taking pictures of ourselves. This is the picture where I look least like Morticia Adams. Note Cassie's lovely new birthday jewelry.

I can officially recommend the pre-7pm dinner deal at Mt Fuji. It's only $18 for several bits and pieces. You get a little salad, miso soup, tempura vegetables, your choice of meat (a generous portion) and rice. For an extra $4 you get fried rice and the little catching games that go along with that (catch the raw egg in your bowl, the cooked egg in your mouth, the rice in your bowl). Jolly good! And it's all done in front of you!

BUFFETS

I have several buffets strategies. It is essential to get the most out of your buffets.

My first, and most important, rule is that you must start strongly, eating most of your courses in the first 20 minutes. I read somewhere that there's a delay factor between when you start eating and when you start to feel full. Make the most of that small window!

My second rule is that you don't need to adhere to normal rules of sequence. Because you are going to feel sick and bloated after about 20 minutes, it's ok to eat desert at the beginning. My only rule is that the fish course is best if not left until last. Fish on a queesy tummy is not pleasant.

Also, don't fill up on the soup. That is a cheap tactic these restaurants use to try to save money on the good stuff. Same with the bread rolls.

That is all.

But wait - penguins can't fly!

Our netball team has moved into the era of 'I Pity the Fool'. Morgan is to credit (blame) for the name change.

I think it's only fitting that certain players get cast with appropriate nicknames. Who get to be BA, Hannibal, Murdock and Face?

The girl playing defence for the other time was a prime example of 'what-not-to-do' in that she got pissy and lost her cool with us. She even refused to shake hands. Now, I've done that on ocassion myself - but never to a team so nice as US! I still don't quite get why she was such a pissy mood. I sure as heck hadn't mistreated her. I expect right about now she'll be reflecting and thinking 'Hmmm.... might've over-reacted just a tad.....'.

* * *

Pet Peeves - Edition 7

1) When you rip off your toenails and there's a jagged bit left and it scratches on the sheets when you go to sleep so you have to get up in the middle of the night to cut it off.

2) When I can can't get the label off ornamental things.

3) When I wash pillowcases and they don't get dry in time to put them back on before I go to bed and I have to sleep on raw stuffing.

4) Changing the bag in the vacuum cleaner. That cloud of dust and grime that bursts out of the bag makes my glands swell in anticipation.

5) Drippy taps. I have an acute sense of hearing.

* * *

In an interesting bit of work-place developments...... We were ('we' being me and my editor-in-arms) called to see the principal today regarding last year's magazine. The issue at hand seems to be that we edited an article and to make it clearer to the students reading the magazine, we added in a title when the property manager guy was mentioned (the kids having no idea who Mr L_____ is).

Turns out the title we added was below him. 'Groundsmen' are underlings. People must be pointing at him in the line at the supermarket and laughing.

I hate petty complaints.

They make me want to abuse my new-found knowledge that the photocopier in the library does not distinguish between A4 and A3 and charges you the same for both....... I could go crazy with that info. Giant handouts for everyone.

I'LL PUT OUT YOUR INVISIBLE FLAMES! YARP!

Had a lovely day with Ange (who was avoiding her flatmate's friend and his random score who were 'sleeping' on the floor in her lounge after coming home drunk last night). One of the many joys of flatting - random people fornicating in your lounge when you want to watch crap Sunday morning TV with your cereal.

Saw 'Hot Fuzz' and agree with Morgan's take on it (see his blog). Twas good. Yarp.

I saw 'Tellabega Nights' yesterday and it was fairly average with a few funny moments. The two lines I have managed to get into everyday conversations from it are 'If you're not first, you're last' and 'I'll put out your invisible flames!'.

Someone once told me that Will Ferrell is one of the best steal-sceners and character actors, but can't quite manage to carry a film by himself. This film might evidence that opinion.

Still a pretty cool idea to call your son Power Ranger.

* * *

Have bought Gilmore Girls - Season 5. It is the era of Loralei and Luke finally getting it on and Rory f**king up. Good times in Stars Hollow! Loralei is very skinny this series whereas Rory has finally got some hips. On the whole I think the stylist in this series did a great job with hair and wardrobe too.

I watched one of the new episodes on TV2 today. It has made me confused (having watched one of my Season 5 episodes directly before it, and now another one a few hours later....... I can't remember who Rory is going out with anymore....... ).

* * *

I bought two new plants. That brings my total pot-plant haul to four. I have almost killed one of them, but Reidun nursed it back to life with some tough-love pruning.

One of the new ones is a cactus. It's like a mini version of what you'd see in a cowboy movie. It will be hard to kill (but I will try). The other one has pretty red leaves.

* * *

I have again started my 'Must lose 5kgs so I fit my pants again' diet. Today I displayed will-power by not ordering a sweet treat with my mocha at Starbucks, not buying any snacks to eat with the movie (I just stole some of Ange's) and not having any sweet treats with my eggs florentine at lunch.

I am pleased with my efforts. My pants will fit in no time!

I even exercised with Ange today. We went on a 75 minute walk around the bays and up through Roseneath. We saw a lot of houses we'd love to own if we were squillionaires and mused over how the heck anyone affords to buy a house in Wellington.

HI TRACE THE ACE!

This is my 'clog' as you like to call it, Trace. It's fairly mundane but certainly a slice of life in Kate-land.

Tracey is a girl me and Ange went to school with. She is 'cool' (note my use of inverted commas) and used to let me cut her hair at high school. It looked 'cool' when I cut it.

Ange ran into her randomly at the cricket a few weeks ago but other than that we haven't seen her in donkey's years. Since uni at Massey.... so at least 6 or 7 years eh. Apparently she looks just the same though. We almost sang a song together in the school talent quest, or own comedic genius version of 'You say potatoe'. But she chickened out. Oh oh, I have played Ultimate Frisbee properly, Trace. It's fun! (We used to play our own version at lunchtimes.)

* * *

I've been home alone all weekend. It's nice. As I was telling Sam last night, it meant I could wax my legs in the lounge while watching a Gilmore Girls behind-the-scenes show. Not something you can do with male flatmates home. Or most female ones, for that matter.

And today I watched an all-new episode of The Gilmore Girls. I'm not sure if it's wise for Loralei to be dating Chris again.... time will tell!

Though.... I just realised I haven't made any contact with humans all day (other than through the magic of technology). That can't be healthy in large doses..... I made eye contact with a guy while I was returning a DVD at the library, does that count?

* * *

Kankle has faded significantly. It has proven my wait-two-weeks-before-seeing-a-doctor theory to be a good one. Almost exactly two weeks after I sprained it, I could finally feel an ankle bone in there somewhere. I came home from basketball on Thursday and it had magically shrunken. It was swollen before the game, and afterwards it was miles better..... Mysterious. Does this mean playing sports is GOOD for injuries? I think it does - I will follow that rule religiously from now on....

* * *
I bought a laminator. I will laminate everything possible from now on. Come to me for your laminating needs. Instead of giving out stickers as rewards to kids I'm going to give out small laminated pictures from magazines..... Cool.

Your next netball draws will be laminated. With stickers. On coloured paper. Any advances on 'I Pity The Fool' as our name? (I'm not gonna be fancy and insist they put foo' - so much could go wrong with that as I learnt with 'Chickens in Choppers', or 'Chicken Choppers' as we became.....)

* * *

I also bought a dress made out of merino wool. Time will tell if that was a wise purchase or not...... So much potential for disaster, and yet so pretty..... And it has pockets. I have never owned a dress with pockets! Genius!

* * *

Went to Sam and Fish's House-warming Part Deux. This one featured origami and icecream in cones. What will Part Trois bring us?

There was a cat on the lawn and a Damon in the kitchen and a Sam at the BBQ. Fish was all over the place.

On the way home rather than say 'Who the heck is that weirdo in the car next to me wearing a cheese-cutter hat?' I was able to say 'Oh - it's Damon!'.

* * *

I really am an old lady. My latest ailment was allergies-that-turned-into-something else. After having to carry a tissue box around school all day, I spent Friday night curled up in my duvet in front of the TV, with my hand pressed against my forrid to verify to myself that I did have a temperature...... Grandma would be proud of me. Though she still has many many more ailments. I have years of practice before I get to her category of complaining.

Lynne has been diagnosed with about a billion things after being rushed into hospital one night last week. Pneumonia is one of them. COPD is another (something about chronic and pulminary and disorder) which means she'll be on a nebuliser or two from now on. She doesn't do things by halves!

* * *

I am looking foward to school camp this week. It brings about another return to the scene of my flying-fox accident. I still have the scar on my thumb. I'm hoping I'll also get to ride a horse for the first time in years. I wasn't a horsie girl or anything, but they're fun.

I am enjoying the power-trip of getting to play God and choose the groups all the girls are in. I could help form friendships..... or destroy them...... THE POWER! I'm leaning towards putting the cliquey-loud girls all in one big group and letting them fight it out for dominance, and having the quiet nice girls in the other group.

* * *

Janine told me when I saw her the other day that my name had come up in conversation halfway across the world.

Some young lasses from Wellington were staying at her hostel in Edinborough where she works, so she says 'What school did you go to?' Turns out they went to the school I teach at. So she says, 'Do you remember Miss J____?'

And they reply, 'Yes! She's the one that was getting it on with Mr Ball.'

Hilarious! Me and Ken have permeated a rumour that has literally spread across the world. The power of teenage girls and their gossip! Do not underestimate it.

To this day I will swear to any girl who is forward enough to ask that nothing went on between us - but they think I'm just trying to put them off the scent. It's too good a rumour to NOT be true! Let them have their fun, we say.

A grab bag of goodies.

A colleague of mine who shall remain almost nameless (for those in the know he is The Model) made one of the biggest faux pas I have heard of in a while.

He has a mysterious on-again off-again relationship with his girlfriend and today he may well have nailed the lid of the coffin.....

His ex/gf had a wee drama queen display and stormed off after some mini argument...... then tried calling him several times. At this point he composed a text to someone mentioning something about his 'psycho girlfriend'.

He decided to delete it.... but on auto-pilot instead of deleting it he sent it to the first person in his phone book.....

.... who happened to be his 'psycho girlfriend'.

Woopsie. I suspect she's gonna show him what pscyho really looks like now! And half his clothes are still at her flat...........

* * *

Kankle seems to respond well to sporting activity. I experimented with indoor netball tonight and was not inhibited. My shoe was very 'snug' over top of Kankle. It is becoming an entertaining experiment. I like the theory that it could be some kind of fracture.... but after my severly-bruised-ribs I refuse to set myself up for such disappointment........ The heartbreak and disappointment is not worth building yourself up to thinking you have a real injury.................. I'll have to settle for strange-sprain.

* * *

It was meet-the-parents night at school. Year 9 students were to bring along their families to have a sausage and meet their teachers.

The aforementioned Model had mustard on his chin most of the time..... I didn't tell him :)

* * *

My Lynnie (Dad's wife) is in hospital after a miserable night of pain and not being able to breathe. That's stink. She's had an awful time of it healthwise the last few years. In constant pain. Nothing life-threatening but definitely detrimental on quality of life. Not fair at all.

Spelling B

I took part in the Year 9 Spelling Bee today.

I went along to support the girls in my classes, but was the only spectator there. So I thought I might as well get out pen and paper and have a go at the words.....

And I got 17/20. The winners got 19/20 and another girl got 18..... So I came fourth. I was quite happy with that! That's out of about 25 of the top spellers in 3rd form. I only got hallelujah, erudite and synonymous wrong (I put hallalujah, errudite and synonomous).

I got some really tricky ones right like 'paradigm'.

If the other three girls pull out I am the official reserve........

* * *

Kankle is going strong but raising it up seems to work a bit. I made myself a luxurious pile of kankle-raising-cushions on the couch after school and sat there while consuming my packet of crackers with pesto and cheese. How decadent!

* * *

I have revisited a supermarket carpark. It was traumatic, but I drove extra slow and anticipated people doing dumb things. I escaped unscathed.

* * *

Home & Away is pretty good at the moment. I say I watch it just to keep up with the kids.... but sometimes I secretly watch it for my own enjoyment.................... I'm glad Sally is still alive.

On my feet.

I seemed to be standing up all weekend. My kankle did not like it. It is now swollen to the tips of my toes. When I poke it, there are waves that ripple down my water-retaining balloonfoot. I suspect that I could artfully turn it into a fountain by poking it with a needle in a few places.....

Dancing for a couple of hours last night probably did not help. Clumsy drunk girls standing on my feet with their stilettos definitely did not help. Here is a mandatory drunk photo of me with Neenie (who is, by the way, looking great - not that you can tell 'cause I cut half of her out of the photo - there's only enough room for MEEEEEE). Me and Neen did our patented dance moves - Stir the Pot and The Rib Extension. Hilarous fun (for us). Note my hair is much shorter due to my haircut. Ahem. I went to Ange's hairdresser so we are now hair twins.

I actually conceded to icing it (my kankle, not my hair). Seems a little drastic! And all that did was direct the swelling from my ankle to lower down in my foot. I wonder if it will disappear out the end of my toes if I move the ice-pack lower.....

I understand what pregnant women go through in those final weeks. A tiny bit, anyhow. Water retension sucks. Much.

* * *

Me and Cass went to a wedding expo out in the Upper of the Hutt. The most amusing thing was the doll they put on the bonnet of the limosine. It's slightly demonic. Look closely. And I don't think the guy was switched on enough to be displaying it for intentionally comedic purposes. I guess there is a niche market for that kinda thing out in the Upper Hutt......

And for anyone crazy enough to think I was browsing the expo for myself (plan ahead - I say!) I will clarify that it was for Cassie and her next-January nuptuals. I was bridesmaiding. Not that the people trying to sell me stuff realised in time - they'd already given me the free samples and lollies..... Good deal!

* * *

For those of you keeping track, I have now broken a fair few rules I wrote about here. Do as I say, kiddies, not as I do! It's ok - I still think I'm cool and that's all that matters.

* * *

I'm sure there was something else I thought I'd mention.... Hmmmm........ What was it? Oh yeah - car stuff.

I have (sub)consciously avoided supermarket carparks since my accident. I have only been to the New World in Newtown - because it's a different suberb and under cover it doesn't count. Hence I have very little food left. I have been buying my lunch at school and going out to dinner as often as possible. I still have cereal and bought milk at the dairy, so breakfast is sweet (luckily I stocked up on Hubbard's the week before accident).

This accident may turn me into a supermarket-phobe. Or give me a strange eating disorder where I always have to eat-out. DAMN THAT LADY!

* * *

Paul has moved into the sleepout (as of an hour ago). He and Reidun are bonding over cigarettes. I am again the only non-smoker in the flat. What're the odds?

It's not fair that us non-smokers miss out on all that bonding time due to sitting inside by ourselves........... I was busy icing my kankle anyhow, so I couldn't go outside with them. I think they know each other's life stories now..... I'm OUT OF THE LOOP! I see why people take up smoking now..................................................... So I limped up the stairs to ice my kankle in private and blog about it. I blame the accident for my anti-socialness. I'm a shell of my former self..................................

* * *

Not sure what the effect of the lane changes around the Basin will be. Good or bad?

* * *

I might do a photo essay of drunk shots of me. I have a lot of them. Dating back to t-coll days. Digital cameras did not exist before that.

Done and Dusted.

Flatmate found. We put the ad on and had a zillion people come and look (ok, around 20). It became almost like a comedy routine - we'd be just starting chit chat with one, and another would come to the door. So one of us would have to become the secondardy tour guide while one person held the fort. It was a team effort for a change though, which was nice. We had one guy come around that seriously slipped through the gaps and none of us could remember talking to previously at all.

Met lots of lovely folk. No serious weirdos, which is suprising for such a cheap room..... The worst was a guy who had his girlfriend in tow (doing some PDAs, a lot of hand holding etc) and explained that they were christian so couldn't live together because of family issues and really just wanted somewhere to store his stuff and sleep, but would be at her house most of the time....... Two Chileans (including the guy who owns the restaurant in Newtown - Ange and Cass, you know who I mean). A girl from my basketball team (who Clayton seriously thought was a guy until we assured him afterwards it wasn't - he was actually going to comment that 'Anabel' was an odd name for a guy).

So fun and games!

Our lucky new flatmate is Paul the Glassblower. Farm boy - so now we have Levin, Blenheim, the Hawkes Bay and Feilding all represented. Just call us 'Small Town NZ meets Hataitai'. He won over Reidun by making her listen to his cat purring on the phone last night. Clayton liked the fact that he was fairly sure this one actually was a guy. Be sure to make that clear if you ever have to introduce yourself to him.

* * *

Netball was rather heart breaking. But you can't complain about a good hard game. It really was goal for goal. I quite like a game like that where you have to keep the concentration levels up. And we can't blame anyone but ourselves for losing, which is humbling but better than being able to bitch about the ref etc.

And at least we get a Sunday off now.

* * *

All the kids were asking if I was all better today and peering at my eye. Quite sweet really.

* * *

I have a student working at Woolworths Kilbirnie who's going to short-change all the middle-aged Pakeha women with frizzy hair and glasses until she's got back all my money (she seemed a little shocked when I told her it'd be $700).

Good to have people on the inside.

* * *

Does anyone think that Ange is 'shy' and lacking in 'boldness'?

* * *

Cassie bought bridesmaid dresses already - and they're great! She can tick that one off the to-do list. I'm sure there'll be photos to come on her blog (though she promised not to put the ass shot up on there). I don't have ideal underwear on in the shot and will go on my 5kg bridesmaid diet before the wedding. Down from $190 each to $49 on sale. Can't pass up a deal like that!

I should have no problem pulling in it, if she has a good pool of single men there (that's my job as bridesmaid, is it not?).

* * *

Bed time. Night night.

B*TCH

Let me lay the foundations for my story.....

So I am bung. See my bung ankle in above photo (placed artfully by my iron mark). The bit where it balloons out usually goes inwards.

My eye is bung too. I went into work this morning and got sent home in case it's conjuntivitis or contagious. It's been like it for a couple of days (bit swollen, weepy, bloodshot). I had to teach one lesson before the reliever came, so I fashioned myself an eyepatch, but that's another story.

So here I am, this pathetic weepy eyed, limping shell of a person...... But I get to go home and have a day off work. Sweet! I offered to drop my flatmate in town for work then made my way to Kilbirnie Woolworths to get myself a treat for lunch......

As I drive into the carpark I notice it's quite full, so I'm driving along perusing for empty parks when suddenly I hear a loud scraping crashing noise to the left...... Somebody had backed out of their space right into the passenger side of my car.

I slow down and look back, and there are cars all around, so I decide to drive on a bit, park and come back.

Meanwhile the driver of the car gets out and comes down to where I parked. I get out and say, 'What happened there?' ... and then say, 'I've never had to do this before (mistake number 1?)...... She is very proactive. She starts asking for pen and paper and writes down her licence and insurance company for me (mistake number 2?). She takes the same details off me. She points out...

1) That she looked both ways before pulling out.

2) I must have been going fast for her to have not seen me..... 'You should drive slowly in a parking lot', she advises.....

3) That I should have seen her lights.

4) That her car isn't damaged - good thing about having a towbar. Looks like I'll have to get some panel beating though.

After all this I'm almost feeling guilty.... while I'm sure it's technically her fault, she's made me think that I must've been driving terribly! I thank her for the details and let her on her way.

Those of you who are more savy than me will see alarm bells right now.... I must admit I was naive and stupid.... she was a Pakeha middle aged woman. She seemed like somebody's mum.... she was giving ME sincere advice on how to drive more safely.... She'd been so proactive about coming over and getting my details and writing them down......

BUT....

I ring my insurance company and tell them the story, giving them her details. And it turns out.....

They're phoney! They're for a car that looks nothing like hers, registered to a man in Auckland who's not even with this company. Firstly that makes me angry because I have to pay lots more money on my excess ($700 since I'm only on my restricted). Secondly it pisses me off that people can be that mean and deceitful. Puts another chink in your faith in humanity! She seemed like a normal honest sort.........

Grrrr. I will not be so naive next time.

Things Fall Apart.

My body is going downhill! This year I've had hardly any periods of full fitness.

I had the bruised ribs, then the blisters, then the millions of itchy bites....

And today I have a sprained ankle and gummy conjunctivitis-ish eye. The worst thing is I literally fell over my own feet with nobody else around me, running back on defence. How hard is it to slow down and turn around without falling over!?!?! Harder than I thought, apparently. I have a nice wee bit of swelling after having continued playing the game (it would be too embarrassing to ask for a sub after falling over your own feet....... I had to act like nothing was wrong when I heaved myself back up to my feet.....).

I have to limp around with one eye closed. I look like a freak............ All I need is a humpback now.

Must be because I'm nearly 30.

Sam and Fish - did you notice a quick decline when you were 29? Or did you feel just fine?

And drink lots of wine.....

I feel naked....

... without my cellphone. I left it at work accidentally.

What if tonight was the night where I was going to get some fabulous and spontaneous one-off offer.... and I missed it.......

It could happen.

I'm anxious about it.

* * *

In other news, I got some girls at school to clean my car for me. They love having 'jobs' to do. And one of them did the front wheel-thingies a treat! They used to be kinda brown and rusty looking, now they shine and gleam. Check them out next time you see me in my 'ride'.

* * *

Finally waxed my legs so I can wear skirts and shorts again.

* * *

Quizzing tomorrow with flatmates most likely. All comers welcome (Sam - you still on nights?). Clayton swears he does the 5-minute quiz every day so he is primed and ready to lead the squad.

* * *

My winning streak is over. Michelle's team ruined it. Back to square one.

* * *

I know people born with extra thumbs or toes. It must be more common than I thought. And they're otherwise normal.....

* * *

I used to find Michael Rappaport sexy. I don't like him in The War at Home. He has eliminated himself from my Exemption List (published months ago on my blog). He's obnoxious. I know it's just acting.... but it has to come from somewhere real, doesn't it?

* * *

Someone I do still find sexy is Craig McMillan. Good to see him doing well again! He's so lovably streaky.

* * *

Did anyone else see that classic episode of Paul McKenna where one guy was hypnotised to believe he was a guru. And his one piece of wisdom he shared with everyone was 'You know that blue thing in the toilet - it's not an icy-pop'....?

We have something blue in our toilet. Every time you flush it's bright, bright blue. How sanitary!

There was also the 'You stole me eyebrows!' episode. Classic. And the 'I'm a mushroom - you're a mushroom - we're all mushrooms' skit was a goodie.

Times when it is inappropriate to text back in rhyming couplets....

My word of the week

Chutzpah!

Top Five Raw Vegetables

1) Baby Carrots.
2) Peas straight from the pod.
3) Radishes.
4) Cherry tomatoes.
5) Cucumber.

Five Wellington Eatery Recommendations

1) The margarita flavoured pizza at The Realm. Mmmmm.
2) Thursday through Saturday at Kai in the City. Live music and singalongs!
3) The chocolate cupcakes at Maranui Surf Club.
4) The chili iced coffee at Simply Paris. Iced Coffee Ole!
5) The vegetarian kebabs at the kebab place next to JJ Murphy's.

Five Things I Like in Clothes
1) Hidden pockets.
2) Head holes big enough to not mess my hair up on the way in or out.
3) Length.
4) Thumb holes.
5) Flattering necklines.

Five Summer Hassles

1) Socks that are dripping with sweat after sports.
2) Flies.
3) Melted chocolate in your car.
4) Squinting.
5) Loud cicadas.

Five Movies I was Pleasantly Surprised by

1) In her Shoes
2) Vanilla Sky
3) Sorority Girls
4) Best in Show
5) Anatomie

Five Things that Are Orange

1) Fish.
2) Carrots.
3) Pigott hair.
4) High vis gear.
5) Basketballs.

Weekend Goings On

The Posse and invited friends had a lovely time at Kai last night. Note Ange's short hair! Sam has a habit of surrounding himself by bevies.... My smile is the hugestest!

* * *

Weddings Galore!

I went to my good friends Lu and Clint's engagement party in Levin on Friday night. Took 2.5 hours to drive there (usually 1.5) in the stinking hot sun. But I cranked up my sing-along-car-cds and had a jolly good time!

It was an excellent excuse to pull out my impulse-buy-cocktail-dress and the food was gorgeous (neenish tarts and crostini with salmon and cream cheese).

I should have taken Clint's advice and used some of their insect repellant though....... I have dozens of bites which seem to be just coming into full force today. Even two on my buttocks, somehow....

This foot alone has 14 bites on it. If you were out with me last night you may have seen my rubbing my foot on things ... it may have looked odd....

Kai, bro

We took a posse of seven people out to Kai in the City last night on Marjorie Banks St in Mt Vic. It was delightful! The food was high quality and yummy and the atmosphere was very kiwi. There was a fulla on a guitar singing covers of songs we knew the words to and we all got handed the words to Pokarekareana (sp?) and had a good old sing-along.

I had Maori bread with dips (yum!) and the fish with hangi-mash and honey and aioli sauce (yum!) and chocolate pudding with berry compote and gourmet icecream (yum!). The kumara pie with icecream looked good too.

Then we ventured into town and went to a few bars for sensible drinks (not like last time!). I made everyone look at Pete's pictures in Deluxe - they seemed vaguely suspicious that we were taking photos. Here's the Mt Vic Honk Honk picture.

This is my new flatmate, Reidun, with her friends Sasha and Pete.

We discovered The Cavern which is a basement bar across from Vespa..... It plays Beatles and Elvis songs! That's right up my alley. Then me and Reidun continued on to Electric Avenue which looked like it could be good fun. She proposed an 80s party at our house followed by dancing there. Could be a goer! I own an asymmetrical top...

As a side note.... Reidun and I got home after midnight some time and decided to go check on Pete, since we never heard back from him and he was supposed to be at dinner with us. Picture us climbing up the path at the back of our flats (Reidun in high heels, both of us having had a few drinks) and peering through his windows, using my phone as a torch..... Funny picture and much potential for disaster. He wasn't there. We briefly feared being those flatmates on the news who said 'Well, we realised we hadn't seen him for a week..... but we weren't really worried until his rent didn't go through'.

He texted today and is just out of town. Phew.

One Love - but we're not the same.

Me and Sam and Fish. Sunny day and blanket. Watching the girls in short shorts and bikinis. Getting sunburnt hands. Henna on a fishfoot.

Reggae is the devil's music! I don't care what it's infused with.

* * *

Where's Katie???

Hi kids, can you spot Katie in the above picture?

Hint: She's wearing red and white stripes and sunglasses.

* * *

School started back today. It was ok.

My class seem decent with perhaps a few possible characters waiting to surface. Me and Girl-Sam were the two teachers meeting all the new students and their parents at the front gates. Having authority is a strange thing. We were the 'face' of the school. I did not abuse this authority, though Sam said to a poor wee lass 'You need to run up the driveway'..... and the girl actually did run. Sam's a PE teacher and always tells people to run.

I memorised all my class's names last night. I showed off my geeky skills by adding things like 'your name is second to last on the roll' and whenever anyone said a first name, I'd add the surname without even looking at the roll. When I also said, 'Oh - you live in Samoa St, don't you?' the word 'stalker' started to be bandied about by the peer support students.... but in a good way, I like to think..... :)

It restores my faith in the youth of today that one of them, in my 'getting to know you game' listed gospel as her favourite genre of singing. Bless! I thought they all liked the hippityhop and emo stuff.

It was blimin' hot. I see one advantage of working in a corporate job now - air conditioning, baby.

The Tides of Change

Bye Bye England

Englishmen 1, 2 and 3 left today. The car started (which is always touch and go) and was packed to capacity with gear. They are headed up the East Coast, with any luck, bound for Napier and Tauranga. I recommended Splash Planet for a good time.

They were top fellows. It was a nice chapter in the flatmate chronicles.

They said goodbye to the cat and took photos to remember it by.

Hello Canada

My Canadian flatmate is just putting up a display of his paintings at Deluxe Cafe tonight, running for the next two weeks. If you're there having a coffee, be sure to take note. I really like them - there's one painting of the inside of Fidel's which is just gorgeous and another one from inside the Mt Vic tunnel that is a yellowy-masterpiece.

Drinking

In true Simon-fashion let me state that I am never drinking again. I am struggling to remember why I seem to think getting drunk is fun......... right now it's just pain and a queezy tummy.

* * *

I have noted Morgue's meticulous love-making and Sam's hankering for skinny-dipping. There seems to be something in the air in blogland......

* * *

Internet Dating

Internet dating is proving fruitless. The two possibilities I had left simultaneously disappointed me. It seems that the guy who stood me up because he had alcohol poisoning was an indicator of the quality of men out there.......

The first possibility has overhauled his profile from a normal one to a 'looking for sexual encounters' one - I noticed this just after I had sent a message about cricket and clothes shopping. It's bizarre that he replied in much the same tone, just general chat - and yet his profile now has a photo of his naked torso. I can't reconcile that.

The second guy said to me, 'So when are we meeting up babe?'. Am I being overly fussy by vetoeing him purely on the basis of twice having tagged 'babe' onto the end of a comment and using terms like 'lol' too often???