Down to size

So, I'm not sure if it's just me, or if all Grandmas like to cut to the chase and kick you in the guts. Anyhow, my Grandma tells it how she sees it!

1. We arrive to surprise her and she greets me with, 'Hello... You look skinnier than when I last saw you,' in an almost accusing tone. I ponder this and say, 'Really? Two years ago? Hmmm, not sure.' She keeps looking me up and down and says, 'Have you got The Anorexia or something?' I proceed to try and lighten the conversation by telling her about how my scales have been out by 5kg for a few years .....

2. About an hour later out of the blue she says, 'And what happened to that nice boy?' I come back with, 'What nice boy??? He wasn't that nice.' knowing full-well she is talking about my latest ex-boy. She says, 'Well, your dad and Lynne say he was nice.' I disagree. She shakes her head and tells me I need to be less fussy.

3. Later on, she pulls out some photos I sent her ages ago. There is one of me and the ex previous to that one. 'And what was wrong with him - was he nice?' she queries. 'Oh yeah - he was nice!' I say, nostalgically. She pauses and then changes tack. 'Hmm.... maybe it's you there's something wrong with..... not them.' Ouch! I mumble something about 'not being right for each other, maybe'.

4. At lunch the next day she gives me her piece of birthday cake. I'm kinda full, but I know better than to say no to Grandma trying to feed you. I eat the bit with icing and leave the rest. She notices I haven't finished, and goes on to tell the whole table about what a 'greedy guts' I used to be. She looks at me again and swears I've grown taller than when she last saw me (two years ago). I insist I have not, and that I was almost this height right from when I was a teenager. She says, 'It must just be that you were wider then - made you look shorter...... I tell you, she used to eat everything in sight!' Dad tries to deflect by saying that me and my brother must have inherited that trait from him..... I remember Mum telling me that when I went to stay with her for three weeks when I was in J2 she over-fed me so much that I came back and I'd gained a stone. And she always figured I'd lose it again once I was home, eating normally. But I never did! It's Grandma's fault I had puppy fat all those years! Damned ice-cream freezer.

* * *

Anyhow, I do love my Grandma! She means well.

My Favourite Moment

So we'd gone for a walk around the retirement home. It was in the middle of the countryside, which is a whole other story (given that Dad had looked on Google-maps and decided it was only two blocks from where we were staying in town, without a car).

Dad sat on the bench by the driveway. He rested his cane beside him and fiddled around with the calliper on his leg (having walked there the night before, he'd gotten bleeding blisters on the soles of his foot).

I was standing on the other side of the driveway taking photos.

We were expecting my grandma's sister and her daughter to arrive that afternoon, so Dad was keeping a vague eye out for them. He saw a car drive up with a vaguely red-headed lady driving it. It drove into the O'Conor home, right past him.

So Dad gave them a familiar wave, sure it was Aunty Olga finally arriving. They kinda slowed down and then drove on.

I said to him, 'You know that wasn't them, eh? The girl in the front looked about 30 years too young....' And then I had to laugh, 'cause sitting there in front of the retirement home, with his cane, he just looked like some senile old man out for his daily walk around the home..... sitting there waving at random cars...... One of the local 'characters'.

I teased him all afternoon.

[Listening to 'The Breeze', because not many stations get good reception in Hataitai.... It's very hit and miss as a station......... ]

Movies I have Seen

1. [REC]

A horror that was on at the Film Festival and rereleased at The Paramount, this film gave you what you expect from a horror, I guess. It had a seemingly banal start, then things got bad. Then they got worse. And one by one, the main characters ran out of allies and throughout they could not rely on authority figures like the police...... It was a typical zombie film. I have read bits and pieces a out horror as a genre, and I think zombie films represent the enemy within - the recognisable enemy. So, I guess it's appropriate in these rather bleak times where governments aren't particularly trusted and times are getting hard that a zombie film was made. I like this film in that it doesn't have a cheesy ending - it stays true to the situation. And it has a particularly memorable anorexic vision near the end. I would have liked it more if I didn't find the lead female so annoying (she was supposed to be annoying - but I didn't think she ever moved on from that or developed).

2. Wall-E

This was really sweet. It was an 'awww!' kinda film. We like films where inanimate objects or animals take on incredibly characteristics that show great humanity. Wall-E is a lovable little machine who is left alone on earth, continueing to sort out our long ago abandonned dumps. He lovingly sorts and stores 'treasures' such as Rubics cubes and old videos. I remember going to the dump as a kid and finding treasures..... The trunk in my bedroom now is a dump-find, I'm pretty sure. Or maybe my parents encouraged that urban legend at some stage and I believed it to easily.... Anyhow, cute movie. Brave little machine.

3. Earth

1. Chocolate Covered Pretzels

Ever since seeing Mallrats I have been intrigued by these. Finally tried some today. They were pretty good! They weren't melty though, thank goodness.

* * *

2. Jonny Jonny Jonny

Went to Jon's thing last night. Saw his Embezzler video, which was really well done. Makes me want to make one...... Maybe I could be Miss Edukator...... ruining the minds of youth across the world.....

Jon's pad is very Jon. Bachelor pad with leather couch and huge TV. That's all you need! Boys aren't big on ornaments and whatnot, are they.

We may have recruited enough people for an Ultimate team. What to call it???? I need suggestions or else it will just be 'Kate's Team'. Not that I have a problem with that.....

Jon tried to do a head-lock move on me but I countered well and tossed him over my shoulder. YOU HAVE BEEN MISSJUDGED!

* * *

3. It's Getting Hot in Here (much like Jon's bedroom)

Today was sunny again. Feels very summery. I have worn jandals two days in a row! And I have used the fan in my car rather than the heater. All signs of an approaching warm season. I almost slept with the window open last night, too. I almost wore a summery dress today but then redressed and reproached myself for such silly thoughts (though, turns out it would have been fine!).

Me and Reidun went on a wee picnic yesterday, somewhere between Breaker Bay and the nudist beach. It was nice. We had bread and salads from the deli and take-away lattes from a cafe and just sat and chatted for ages while watching the ferries pass by. Her latest motto is, 'There are 6 billion people other in the world - you don't have to limit yourself to hanging out with the same ones if they don't suit you anymore' (said in response to some of my angsting). Very true.

I have enjoyed wearing my new green cardigan. It has owl buttons. And it is not black! It has owl buttons. Owls are the new cool thing (before it was just birds - now it's specificially owls). I have an owl necklace and owls on my bag too.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Thanks, Richard!

Morphed.

Went to visit the Hall-Halls in hospital today, with wee baby. We saw her in her little cot with all kinds of tubes attached to her. Only dad was allowed to touch. But even alseep and paralysed and sedated, she was pretty cute looking. I'd be well happy with that! Baby fingernails are always so surprising.

Can't wait til she gets to wake up and go home with them.

* * *

Also went on a nature walk with Damon to the Karori Sanctuary. I've never properly been there. It's pretty neat. We had a cookie break half-way. Would be interesting to do a longer trip and take the Green Path. Though, as Damon pointed out, I would have to wear a different outfit (need to match your outfit to the coloured path you are walking - otherwise you might get lost).

* * *

Cocktail of choice is now anything with honey vodka. The other week Meg made us honey vodka, passionfruit vodka, Chi and mint cocktails. Last night I made honey vodka, lemonade and cranberry cocktails, with mint. Both were lovely. Given my experiences at Dave's birthday party earlier this year, I'm well over Candian Club, which had previously been my drink of choice.

I am so happy for Fish and Sam.

I had left my bag at home by mistake (realised that when I met my colleagues for breakfast and had to get one of them to pay for mine). Then I realised I'd also left my poetry books at home, which I'd especially had returned under awkward circumstances on Monday and was going to take to book club after school. Then I realised I'd not brought anything for lunch, had no money to go to the canteen (no purse) and am their #1 enemy since I still have $1.50 owing from my bill from last term (so wouldn't dare ask for more credit).

So I gave in and drove home during my non-contact.

And I'm so glad I did!

Grabbed my bag, checked my phone and had messages from Fish and Cassie.... and was happy for the rest of the day! Like, every other little and big niggle didn't matter at all 'cause it's just so uplifting to hear good stuff like that. One of those puts-things-in-perspective moments.

Charlotte is one smart little lady - she picked awesome parents.

* * *

Two days to go two days to go two days to go.

I am tired right now. School should just finish already. Let's cancel all classes due to bus complications.....

* * *

So my holidays looks like this:

• Sunday - following Saturday, at basketball nationals with the girls.
• Wednesday - Friday of second week, going in to school to do website stuff and start school magazine.
• Some Other Days - doing marking and prep for next term.

Not quite sure if there'll be time for the usual holiday frivolities..... Feeling quite sorry for myself! I need my sleep-in days and haircuts and shopping and leisurely coffees and short-lived exercise regimes.

* * *

We are loving 'The Big Bang Theory' (new show on TV2, 8pm Wednesday). Geeks rule!

* * *

Book Club is just the cutest thing. All of the gorgeous eccentric kids gathered in one place, having good-spirited debates about whether Sherlock Holmes was straight and giving me cupcakes with pink icing and wearing newspaper hats.

This month's theme was poetry. I took along my favourite books and read out a couple. It's a really sweet thing sitting around with a dozen kids sharing favourite poems and authors. Two girls had ventured to the book fair and bought old anthologies. One of them proudly said she'd read very little, but had found an inscription in the front hand-written in pen saying '1931 - to my wife'. There was a collective, 'Awww!' and sigh at how sweet it is to buy your wife a poetry anthology. Then the next girl had an equally old anthology that had the name 'May' in the front, and May had put stars next to all her favourite poems, but had stopped for some reason half-way through. I love books with mysterious histories and scrawlings in them. You get a real sense of a shared experience. There's something magical about knowing you are casting your eyes over the same words that someone else has, but that all you know about them is a date and name scrawled in the front cover.

The lone boy from down the hill who is game enough to come to book club read out that poem with the line about 'I was not waving, but drowning'. I remember finding that line in a book of quotations when I was in my early-teens and writing it down so I'd always remember it. It really strikes a chord with me. I was the kind of early-teen who enjoyed getting out books of quotations from the library and pouring of them for hours......

Not Waving But Drowning by Stevie Smith

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

I was watching Rove on Friday and he was dropping the line about 'put lipstick on a pig and it's still a pig' in wherever he could.

I am going to make that my mission of the week too.

I have already had a few good in-context reasons to say it :)

Joel's Engagement Party

Had a family-do on Saturday. Essentially it was my dad's wife's grandson's engagement party. He's only 21, but he has two little kids with a girl and now he's finally making an honest man out of himself. It was one of those nice family occasions where everybody put differences aside and all came together (once Joel's fiance forced them to). Lynne's ex-husband and her passed some funny jokes, and both Joel's parents and their new partners appeared to get on for the night. It was a good thing.

Lynne's son and ex-husband got the formalities going with many waiata and speeches. Even my Dad did a speech (he was already a bit drunk) which went for a loooong time. I slunk into the background, but feedback afterwards was positive. My dad, for those of you who haven't seen him give speeches (which would be most of you) is a quiet man by nature.... but once he has the floor, he doesn't really like to give it up. He gets quite theatrical. Quite good really - but he does like to draw a story out, and it doesn't necessarily have a punch-line after all that :) As I have pointed out many times..... But he's pretty funny. The best touch was that at the end of it he said, 'And I now pass on to Jesse, who would like to say a few words' ... at which point my 18 year old nephew, who was purposefully standing against the back wall away from the proceedings stood in shock and had to mumble his way through something to the effect of, 'Good on ya, bro.'

Then four of the men-folk got out guitars and we had some sing-along-songs. My dad took to thumping his cane on the ground every now and then as his contribution (you can see it in the foreground of the shot - just in front of Joel, the man of honour). I like that the guy next to him is using a beer bottle to make a slide-guitar.... By this stage, Dad was actually quite pissed. He kept having red wine. There was cake and jellybeans (among other things) and any time anyone offered him a jellybean he'd theatrically say, 'What - are you trying to kill me??? [big pause] I'm a diabetic!' I like that he's using his new-found illness of good comedic effect.

Lynne got up and danced with her daughters... the bad back is well and truly better! They were doing the hula to Ten Guitars here.... her daughters are in rapturous laughter.

Both of the photos with me in them are awful... so I have fabricated my own photo to highlight my dress, which got positive feedback from all the rellies. My nephew, once he was well and truly pissed introduced me by saying, 'And this is my aunty.... and she's a teacher.... but she's beautiful and I love her.' By that stage of the night everybody was beautiful and he looooooved us all. He's one of those affectionate drunks! I like how he put the 'but' in there to qualify that I was still a good person, even though I was a teacher :)

7 Little Things

1. C is for Cookies

Reidun made cookies with chocolate chips, sultanas and dried cranberries. Yum! I had mine with a glass of milk (like they do in American TV programmes).

* * *

2. Here, There and Everywhere

Last night we played indoor against a big tall guy (Jon and Morgue will remember him). He's one of those guys that always pops up around Wellington. I'm pretty sure he does a lot of direct marketing on the street (for Barnados and other charities maybe). Me and Cassie were sitting outside at Starbucks waiting for Ant one day, sipping on Frappachinos, and we watched him doing his thing for a good half hour. He compared well to the other street marketers. We dug his style (we were doing a kind of sports commentary on how they were doing from our possie across the road).

And last night he rolled his ankle quite dramatically, but then just hopped off the court - no fuss. And he sat quite calmly on the seats and said to the girl with him that he might need to go to A and E, and showed me the huge lump that had already popped out of his ankle, within minutes. Then a guy from his team was saying, 'Oh - sorry about that!' and he was all, 'Nah mate, no worries. Not your fault.' And then he hopped off down the stairs to go to the hospital. Very good spirited about the whole thing.

I dig his style. One of my pet peeves is when people get injured and lie on the court for quarter of an hour, need to get carted off by a few other people, snapping at everyone around them ... and then by the end of the game they're limping away on their own....... I like tough people. I like to think I'd be one of them (have never had a major injury, but have continued playing on every sprained ankle I've ever had - trying to hide it from my coach so he didn't sub me off).

* * *

3. Bottle it Up

I'm digging the first track on Liam Finn's album right now. It's my car-album of the month. And I don't really like the end of the CD so much, so once I reach a certain track I fast-forward to the first track again.... It's one of my small daily pleasures hearing the bass-line kick in.

* * *

4. Holy Guacamole

My favourite jeans are getting a hole in the knee. The end is nigh. I am watching it grow, sadly. At the moment (I like to think) they're dressy enough to wear to work.... but once the whole kicks in, they're gonna look like I'm going to a Bon Jovi concert.

* * *

5. What's that burning sensation?

I have a scab on my ear. It's not terribly sore. I just noticed one night my ear was kinda itchy and felt a little swollen. And I discovered the scab. It's a slight mystery... but I think maybe I burnt it on my hair-straighteners. Oops. Self-induced pain for vanity - something I swore I'd never buy into when I was an idealistic teenager who refused to pierce her ears on principle.

I used to have principles. Now I have artificially straight hair and pretty earrings.

* * *

6. Save me from the Knowledge City, with its flying monkeys

There is a slight window of opportunity and hope. I was talking to the sports co-ordinator today, and a few girls might not be able to pay their tournament fees..... so they might pull the team out of the basketball Nationals .....

That would mean I didn't have to spend the first week of my holidays in Palmerston North with students.....

Touch wood! If there's one thing you can almost rely on from basketball girls, it's that they'll be disorganised slackers. Don't let me down this time, girls!

* * *

7. Thank me later

I seened Sam at indoor netball tonight. He shot a two and missed it, then Dave got the rebound and passed it back out, so he shot again and got it in.

He didn't seen me. I was being sleuth. But I made him get the 2-pointer in. He may have felt that telekinetic power of mine as he took the shot..... or he may have been deluded, and taken the credit all for himself.

I love how people think you'll do something when you say 'Look - I'm writing it on my hand'.

* * *

Banana cake is almost all gone.

* * *

I am triple-booked for tomorrow.

* * *

Jon is now officially my 'friend'. How long will it take Michelle to follow? Facebook will inherit the earth.

* * *

After all these years, sleep is one thing I just never get sick of.

* * *

Turtle-neck and plaid. My preppy look.

* * *

I have been reading the same book all year. I am a slow reader.

SHOPPING - vitamins and impulses

There seems to be a broccoli shortage at the moment.

I went to the markets today with Reidun and alls I really wanted to get was apples, carrots and a broccoli. And not a single stall had brocollis! Reidun asked one of the store-workers and he said he'd sold all his to New World. It seemed some sort of conspiracy.

Damn those big supermarket chains.

So I had to buy one at Pak 'n Save. And it was almost $3. And it was mangy and will have to be eaten in the next couple of days.

First peanuts, now broccoli.... what will be next???

It really did quite disturb me that they didn't have any at the markets. It was possibly the first time in my life I have had a broccoli craving.... and it was not immediately satiated. It may never happen again now... and I will become surrounded by cheap, lush broccoli and not care at all.

* * *

In less mundane news (possibly), we went on an outing to the Southern Cross for lunch and coffee yesterday (and we found out they now have hot water bottles you can borrow while you're sitting in the garden bar - cute!). And then some shopping....

And I bought a dress. Totally on impulse. I love buying dresses on impulse. Some girls like buying handbags or shoes.... I like dresses. Reidun talked me into it.

Me: Oh, that's a kinda pretty dress....
Reidun: Try it on.
Me: Oh, but I have no need for a new dress....
Reidun: Go on! Just for fun....
Me: Oh, ok...............
[a few minutes later]
Me: (sheepishly peering out for my changing room) .... what do you think?
Reidun: Buy it!
Me: Really?
Reidun: Yes. Buy it.

Then I rationalised it as a dress I could wear to an upcoming baby shower, engagement party and even to work if I was in a girly mood. Practical and multi-purpose. And it's very 1950s house wife (though from Illicit, so house-wife meets funk - it's the shop associated with the graffiti artist Miss Misery, let Marty tell you the story about his $10 Miss Misery bargain sketch some time....). And black, so I can wear it to a funeral, should the ocassion arise. And pretty enough that I could wear it to a funeral and meet some exotic foreign man (obviously not a blood relative) and start an illicit affair with him because I looked strangely alluring in my preppy-yet-sophisticated black sailor dress. That scenario just came to me.....

I would actually never have walked into Illicit, beings as it looks all emo and trendy.... but they have really gorgeous feminine dresses with high waists (which suits me fine!). I am glad I have discovered this haven of girliness - will revisit it when it comes time to splash out on my yearly birthday-come-prize-giving outfit......

I'd say wearing dresses is one of my favourite things about being a girl. Something oddly empowering about wearing a lovely swishy dress. The last impulse dress I bought was my blue-dress, which has come in very handy. I love my blue-dress. I need more excuses to wear it!

* * *

We are being EROed this week. Bleh. That will make for a slightly tense staff..... I hope we get a morning tea shout at the end of the week!

* * *

I rang Dad for father's day. The first thing he said was, 'Oh - I'd forgotten it was Father's Day!' (and he wasn't being sarcastic - men in my family don't remember events and dates). The second thing he said was, 'Who reminded you about it?' To which I replied, 'I'm insulted, Father! [pause] .... Reidun.'

Even Kyle had rung his dad up (he'd only planned on sending a text). They all put me to shame.....

Had a Chang-tastic dinner last night. Nicky and her beau were in town (limited time only).

Nicky somehow forgot that in NZ 'byo' usually doesn't mean beer. She was saying that in the UK lots of people don't even know what 'byo' stands for - not so common there.

At our dinner there were many teachers (6 - representing 3 different schools) and many Hutt citizens (past and present). Then there was Jamie. He coped well.

I am just no rediscovering remnants of food I evidently dropped on my lap during the course of the dinner..... Darned chopsticks.

I don't like it being THAT cold. My classroom was so cold yesterday that we were all shivering and discovered that the hallway outside the classroom was actually warmer..... We migrated to warmer parts after that realisation.

Good Weekend.

Birthday drinks for Sam. Someone thought I was hot! Irregardless of whether that was reported accurately or whether or not it was said by a person I wanted to think that ..... I choose to believe it :) I was actually a bit more 'tipsy' than I have been in a while. In a fun way (for me). It was one of those nights where I had to really concentrate to hear and follow what people were saying by the end, and would have to just nod and say, 'Yeah....' if they expected me to respond. Sam's friends are all tops people and I think he had a good night.

Went to Andrew's CD launch. Pretty cool having a signed CD (with my own personalised message-sound). Then Jon-Jon drove me home because he's cool like that. Thanks. Oh, and Dave drove us in to town at the beginning of the night, so he is cool too (but he doesn't read my blog so he is less important). I have been noticing lately that I know a few talented, creative people. Last weekend, within 24 hours I hung out with a musician, a poet and an artist (I like that I cover a lot of artistic bases there!) and talked to the owner of an art shop who was picking up some work by my former-flatmate that's been hanging in our lounge. Artistic people rock! I think I like to just leech off them and let their experimentation and talent feed my soul vicariously :)

Then hangin' out with the nieces and nephew on Saturday with Dad and Lynne. Went to Percy's Reserve - it rocks! It has a scary cave. And ducks to feed. And windy tracks to explore. And mud to slip over in. Extra cool in that it's where my dad and Lynne used to play when they were kids growing up in Petone, and it's still recognisable to them (same scary cave, same duck pond, though less ducks). And Dad used to take me and Dave there when we were little too, on the way to Nana's house.

My 3 year old niece is a crack-up. If you are chubby like a cherub and have curly blond hair you can get away with a lot! I never get tired of how little kids automatically reach up to hold your hand when they cross a road.

I also got to witness my dad testing his blood levels. He got diagnosed with diabetes 3 weeks ago and is having to eat totally differently (no puddings!). He was 6.2 when he measured it at lunch (which is very good - supposed to be between 4 and 8). I guess that will have to be my new second best charity, after the Cancer Foundation. Must support the parents (genetics dictate that what they get, I may well get too..... so it's in my own interests too!).

Then catching up with Nicky and co. We all nearly had belly laughs when talking about 'the trotters'. And that's the first time I've played a drinking game in a while. Nicky had a whole plate of meat. Her and Leroy are like a comedy duo. Nicky has always claimed she 'makes it come alive'. It's totally true!

Fish and Sam: Nicky might have a dinner on Friday night (cheap Asian with a lazy-susan and BYO, followed by other drinking - her boyfriend Jamie likes 'old man pubs').

* * *

Thus-far I have been home very little, done no housework, washing or schoolwork and drunkened more beer than I meant to and eatened more chips and dips and fries than I meant to....... so not such a virtuous weekend. But nice.

I have now had another layer of naivity stripped away. I have had to claim on my car insurance.

I finally finished filing the claim for my supermarket-ding (which stripped away one of the other naivity layers in itself).

I got quite irate at having asked to be called when there was progress and having heard nothing, rung up several times, sat on hold for significant portions of my lunch hours, had several hold-ups in my claim's processing (case manager was sick for a few days, had to be reassessed to see if delay in finalising claim had lead to further damage etc) and left notes on my file to have my case manager call me and still heard nothing back from them. Not a single phone call..... And yet every time I called THEM there actually was progress, though usually a set-back as well.... and they assured me someone would call me when there was more news.

And while I was moaning about this my workmates just kinda laughed knowingly and said, 'Have you not had to do this before? They NEVER phone you up..... that's normal.'

Well, now I'll know for next time.

To my amazement they found no reason to not pay out my claim even though it was actually started last April (2007). I was sure there'd be some small print somewhere that would get them out of it. So, yay! Still have to pay excess, but I'm guessing that will be a lot less than the total cost (two doors and the end panel to be replaced).

* * *

In the mean time, since this whole process took almost two weeks (not the 72 hours initially estimated) my warrant has run out, so I'm experimenting with living like I did in the olden days and walking and taking the bus places. It's quaint! Always stories to be shared after a bus-ride. Me and Reidun bussed to and from town last night and possibly sat by a man who was on the cover of some music magazine (or possibly the guy who pointed that out was drunk..... but the man certainly LOOKED famous - he had that air about him).

And because we bussed in, we could spontaneously head into the Welsh Dragon after going to the police station to file her report about her car being broken into (hence her car was out of action too and we were having to take the bus....). We had mulled wine and made up movie plots to go along with the music the guy playing the piano was churning out. They were mostly tragic love stories, with moments of happy flash-backs.

And Jon's friend Dave was there, with another old codger called Dave (who either had a very odd accent or was pissed off his face because neither of us could really understand him - I think he was complimenting my woolly hat, not sure what he said any time after that).

* * *

Plans are going forward to propose a school radio station, with me at its teacher-helm. My hand-picked bunch of 8 kids have had covert secret-project meetings and have met with the Broadcasting School (who were very helpful and have offered lots of free stuff and help). We are trying to come up with an air-tight proposal before we take it to the powers-that-be. Minimal costs, all considerations accounted for. And branding! Unfortunately, word on the street is that any name involving 'Beast' is not going to fly with senior management..... 'The Beast' was the only station name anyone could agree on. I tried to float the idea of something about a 'pie in the sky' (in honour of our Georgie Pie fame).....

In the proposal, I have got a section outlining what each member of the team brings to the table. Some of them have a musical background (the head girl has an 8-track at home, plays in several bands and is used to speaking and performing in assembly). Some of them have experience (one girl is already working at Access Radio as her Gateway programme).

But my favourite strength is..... one of them is a wrestler (as in Wellington's version of the WWF). I somehow related that to being a DJ in that she is used to putting on a public persona and performing......... I am totally in awe of her still. It was my primary school dream to be a female wrestler (me and my friend were gonna be a tag team - we used to go hire GLOW* videos during the weekend). So this girl is living my childhood dream......

Anyhow..... that could be my fun-new-project if it gets the go-ahead.

* * *

I have a slightly sore throat. First time I've had a sore throat all winter. Hope it goes away quickly.

* * *

TV is really really crap at the moment! There is never anything good on. All crime shows and cheap New Zealand reality TV.

* * *

I love Daffodil Day. The last few years I have taken $20 to school a bought a whole bunch of daffodil pins and given them out to my form class. It's my favourite charity. And the yellow flowers look lovely with our uniform...... And it makes my form class look the bestest. And if there are any left, I have discovered that people see me walking around with them and assume I'm selling them, insisting on buying them off me. So I get money back! To be fair, I found some kids doing a bake sale for the Cancer Foundation at lunch time and used my newly earned money to buy brownies which I chopped up and left in the workroom for my fellow English teachers.

Charity is fun! Donating lots gets you good karma and brownies.






* Glamorous Ladies of Wrestling

Bridesmaid 101

Not long til the wedding now.

Being a bridesmaid is intense! It is 11.27pm and I am printing programmes (took half an hour to figure out why they were printing out really really small...... ).

Highlights of today and What I have Learnt

1. My first ever manicure! Beauty = Pain. Yanking on granny-undies also ruins fresly painted nails. Oops.

2. Bike-pants style granny undies hide a multitude of sins. I might wear them all the time now!

3. 72 goody bags take a bloody long time to fill and tie up. But they look pretty. When you see yours think of me putting in the chocolates and pencils, doing the craft-punch and tieing up the ribbon and flower. 72 times. I now know how people in sweat-shops feel.

4. It is not a good thing when 'the alternator' breaks on your car. (Ask Cassie - hers broke today). That was our only minor-disaster. The AA man came and got her car. It will be fixed on Monday...... Luckily they have one hired for tomorrow anyhow.

5. It takes a long time to put out previuosly mentioned goody bags in accordance with the seating plan. It is made more fun by the fact that each table has a special theme.

6. Don't rely on the number of tables your seating plan includes being the same as the number of tables set out at the venue (you may have to reprint the table lists at 11pm the night before....). There was a whole table of people that had to be repositioned. I like to call that table the 'Eliminated Table'. If this was a gameshow like Survivor - Wedding Island, those would be the first people to go. Ryan and Steve were early losers. Ryan earnt himself an upgrade to the cool-kids table, lucky for him!

7. Laminating rules.

8. My groomsman is open to the idea of 'walking it out' of the church gangster style at the end of the ceremony. In my new high heels, I may not actually have to fake the limp.

9. When linking arms with a boy, he is supposed to put his arm out first (in the shape of a triangle, much like what you do in 'I'm a Little Teapot'). Watch carefully and you may see me and Scott (Cassie's bro) cracking up any time we have to do this in the ceremony.

10. When your bride gets a pedicure and realises her shoes are rubbing off the nail polish... and you offer to swap with her, because you have on jandals..... Your feet may end up getting blisters, because your feet are half a size bigger than hers. Ow. Limping around Woolworths.

11. You need a good time-keeper in the wedding party. Frances was awesome at that.

12. Sleep is over-rated.

13. Many people will ask you to sneakily find out if they're actually invited to the wedding and/or which parts of it.

14. One of the perks is that you can slightly adjust the seating plan so you're sitting next to your friends and so that Big Ryan is next to one of his special ladies (lucky Ange!).

* * *

Righto.

I am sleeping with Cass in her bed (more maids than spare beds). Her last night as a single woman and she's sleeping with me! I feel privileged.

Books

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer

If you have a spare moment, read the first chapter of it. It's charming and quirky. Much like 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time', but longer and better. Same kind of slightly Asperger's, genius child narrator. And pictures! It's the best book I've read this year.

Kind of a hard premise to describe, but it follows three generations of men by weaving young Oskar's narrative with extracts from his grandfather's diaries (who became a mute by choice) and also including photographs and visual clues he finds along his journey.

Oskar's dad was killed in 9/11 as he worked in the World Trade Centre. Oskar has always dreaded the thought that his dad had to jump out of a window. His father left answer-phone messages during the events which Oskar played back when he got home from elementary school. The phone then rang, but he was too afraid to answer... and his father had to leave his final message. To save his mother trauma, Oskar then wrapped the machine in a towel and hid it, ran to the store and bought one exactly the same with a blank tape. He has carried this burden alone.

The final pages of the book are a a series of pictures of someone falling out of the building, but if you flip them the body goes from mid-air, to flying upwards, safely into the window. This gives you some idea of Oskar's journey.

Pub date: April 1, 2005
Related subjects: New York , Silence, War, Invention
Description: Blah, blah, blah
Typefaces: Janson Text
First sentence of book: What about a teakettle?
Last sentence of book: We would have been safe.
Dedication: For Nicole / My idea of beautiful

Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer

This is his first novel. Not as good as the other one, but still interesting. A bit more of a slog. It has a really nicely made website that goes with it.

It's about a Jewish-American (with the same name as the author) going back to the Ukraine to find out the mystery of his grandfather's past. There are elements of folk-tale in some parts of the narrative, and the other parts are told by Alex (who is a Ukrainian and speaks in an elaborate broken English). It has a nice message about family and history.

I was in the video store today and saw a film entitled 'Everything is Illuminated' starring Elijah Wood. I wondered why it was so darned familiar at the time but couldn't quite put my finger on it! I have to get it out next time I see it now.

I own copies of both these books. I like that the author was born in the same year as me.

My name is Not-Kate and I'm just tryna be a better person....(and other ramblings)

KARMA, YOU FICKLE WOMAN! BE NICE TO ME AGAIN!

I feel like Earl. Karma has it in for me for some reason. I'm trying to think of what I did wrong....... Maybe I need to make a list like Earl did. Anyone wanna volunteer a reason I need to add them to my list? I wanna get on Karma's better side (I am of course only talking about karma in the sense that the wise Earl Hickey understands it. I'm sure those people with philosophy degrees reading this will be shuddering).

I think I'll start by doing something nice for my brother. I bit him when I was three. Then I'll do something nice for a girl from college. I teased her about her speech impediment. At the time, she scratched me and drew blood in retaliation. I thought we were even, but maybe deep emotional trauma contributing to self-confidence issues wins over superficial tissue damage.

I'm also coming down with some kinda cold and we lost our netball. And I've lost my drink bottle again. I'm getting my eyebrows waxed tomorrow - if that goes wrong I'm gonna look like a freak for weeks..... I need to reverse my luck quickly!

***
NETBALL RAMBLINGS

But it was a GOOD game of netball. Clean and winnable, for the most part. And my team is just lovely. I don't think anyone has so much as given anyone else a dirty look all season. off-black gives HIMSELF dirty looks, but I don't think that counts.

I'm leaning towards calling us 'Groosh' next season. It's a word one of my students came up with when I suggested she needed to make up an onomatopoeic user-name that she could always use, 'cause nobody else would know it. That's what I do, I told them! (I like to remind the kids of just how geeky I really am every now and then, just in case they start thinking I'm 'cool'.)

***
BRAINWASHING THE YOUTH OF TODAY USING BLOGS

I have, incidentally, decided to use blogs as a classroom tool. My media classes have set them up now and I have linked them all together so they can post their articles and give each other feedback..... So far they think it's a novelty and kinda silly, but I think they'll warm to it. And it means I can give feedback from the comfort of my laptop without having to collect in work every day and risk losing it! I let them do the '100 things about me' entry as a warm-up post, while the slower girls were still finding unique user-names and choosing templates. We are two or three lessons into it now. Several girls have forgotten their user-names several times and had to start over again.....

We had some lady talk at a staff meeting and she suggested we utilise ontologies more in teaching. She told a story about how some English teacher had used it and it was a great way for that good advice you give one kid to be of benefit to MANY kids, rather than only having an audience of one. I also think peer critique is good and that it's nice to get positive feedback from each other on a frequent basis.

Also, I let them use it as a 'cheats' way to get some early interviews done. I said they could write a few questions as an entry, and people in the class could make comments that they could use as quotes if they wanted to. I think it was really useful.

Next year I'll have them set it up from week one, and get them used to expressing their ideas about media issues once a fortnight maybe, about something topical. Not worth any credits - but a good critical exercise and sometimes I think that's more valuable. We are, after all, trying to produce 'good citizens'.

****

QUIZ, ANYONE?

Me and off-black are possibly going to forge a team for a pub quiz on Thursday night. While he is amazing, we may need more than two people. Anyone keen? (Chiphead, you live far too far away - so you can't play.)

Four useful quiz in-joke terminologies:

1) 'to pontiac' (verb) is to steal someone else's glory by publicly pretending a correct answer or idea was yours, when in fact it wasn't.
History - It comes from an incident at The Office where Nicky, upon finding out that the brand of American car named after an Indian tribe was in fact 'Pontiac', pumped her fists and said, 'Yeeeeah! Pontiac!' loudly and did that 'look' to the group which means, 'Didn't I do well, team? Give me some recognition!' In a kind of delayed reaction, about ten seconds later and after everyone had said 'Well done, Nicky!' I said rather quizically, 'Nicky.... YOU wanted to put 'Cherokee'.... Pontiac was MY idea!'. She then shrugged and said, 'Was it? Oh well, too late sucker! Everyone in the pub thinks it was ME now!'
Example - You can also just use it as a general exclamation in such a situation eg - Point your finger accusingly and say, 'PONTIAC!'

2) 'loomis' (noun) is the largest fry in the bowl.
History - Nicky once stopped an entire pub quiz by, when the quiz-master made a comment about having found the biggest chip, raising her hand and saying, 'Um, excuse me Dean, but did you know that's called the 'loomis'?' He didn't hear her the first time and got her to repeat it. He then kinda frowned confusedly and said, 'Uh, moving on....question eight....' (apparently finding that hold-up totally pointless and not worth reacting to).
Pronunciation - To properly pronounce the word, you have to speak out of the side of your mouth with a mock-American-geek accent. Much like when you talk about 'giant lasers'. It helps if you are wearing 'smart glasses'.
In general, it can be used as a term to imply someone has said something very dorky in order to show off to the group, but been SHOT DOWN.

3) 'veto' (noun) is something you can earn by having been over-ruled by the group on an answer that was in fact correct. It means that in the future, at your discretion, you may over-rule the group and dictate your own answer. It is a way to placate righteous people.

4) a 'Micheal Buble' (noun) is an answer that comes from an inspired place deep inside of you, and you have no idea quite why you knew it.
History - It comes from an incident where, just AFTER we had handed in our picture round, Ken yelled out, 'Michael Buble!' as he suddenly remembered why that sultry faced brunette man in picture #8 was familiar.
Alternative - In a similar vein, in my family that is called a 'Macho Grouch' after a Pictionary incident where, as a youngster, my father had just started drawing the outline of a face and I had randomly yelled out, 'MACHO GROUCH!' Everyone on the other team suspected cheating, but to this day I say it was an act of God. I don't think I even knew who the man was, as shown by my butchering of his name........ (it was really 'Groucho Marx', but I hadn't given Dad a chance to even get to any distinguishing features).

***
THE SUN'LL COME OOOOOUT.....

Tomorrow is gonna be GREAT! I have a lot of clean clothes and a nice new bed. As one of my nicer flatmates said, rather philosophically, when I broke the news to him about the not-so-nice flatmate - 'A change is as good as a holiday!'. I get to have BOTH!

PS - no progress. I have not seen the not-so-nice flatmate since this morning, at which stage I hadn't run my decision past the other flatmates (which I thought would be a courtesy). We really are ships in the night sometimes, so the nicer flatmate has offered to tell her himself if he happens to see her when I'm not around. Gallant of him. He was really great last time we had to look for a flatmate too. I should be more appreciative of him! I'll put him on my Karma list.

Girly Shopping Day

Today we had a girly day of eating, shopping, eating, shopping and eating.

Five of us met up at Cafe L'affaire for brunch to kick it off. De-lightful!
We had:
- Many moccachinos (they serve them with Sante bars in them!)
- A berry smoothie (far too healthy, not enough cream or icecream for my liking)
- poached egg on toast with hollandaise
- bagels with cream cheese and salmon/jam (not together)
- a railway pie with gravy
- chips and aioli

And we gossipped about many a thing.

Then we went to
- Miss Wong
- Magnolia
- Popup (two of us bought T-shirts)
- Rex Royale (a sale was advertised, but we found nothing reduced)
- Farmers (two of us got underwear and others got mascare, tissues, pjs and jeans)
- Wild Pair (two of us got pairs of Sketches, I got a dotty-top)

Then it was lunch at The Dixon St Deli. I was busy still trying stuff on at Wild Pair, so only caught the dregs of Ange's satay chicken filo and chocoloate brownie. Not sure what else was consumed.

Then it was off towards Lambton Quay
- Glassons (cheap gloves - a few silly hats tried on)
- James Smith Market (a gift was bought at Mr Thank You, fairy-lights - many silly hats tried on)
- Surf and Skate (one beanie purchased)
- The Vault (one more beanie and a fancy silver laticed ring)

There was then a coffee break at Starbucks. Again, my shopping stamina was superior to the others so I went on a detour to the Levi's shop, Ruby and Riccochet, but found nothing to my liking. The others had creamy looking frappachinos. I had water to keep up my amazing stamina and not dehydrate. People were starting to wane. There was less gossip.

Then it was on down the Quay for real.
- Small Acorns (adorable stripey stretch-and-grow with pictures of pirates on it was bought for a baby shower, many lipsticks tried on)
- Cue
- Nest (a nifty magnetic spice rack, a sugar disperser and some mega-strong magnet dots)
- street vendor (earrings - I'm assuming, again I was off on my own mission)
- The Body Shop (men's shower gel as a gift, free sample of coconut exfoliator gained)

I think that's it. Phew.

We should do that more often!

Prizes
Most purchases: Savage (six purchases)
Most expensive single purchase: Ange (four purchases)
Most restrained: Holly (two purchases)
Least bossy: Lauren (two purchases)
Most bossy: ME! (four purchases)

I am going to an engagement party tonight and will wear my new dotty-top. It will make me happy. And cold. But mostly happy.

Bring back the Dance Halls

I think Boogie Wonderland is a great start. Enough of this hip hop free styling grinding beeboppping young people's music. 'Hip Hop' they call it.

I like Boogie Wonderland because it has old-school music and you can shamelessly do your John Travolta finger-point. That's the only dance move I've ever learnt to do well. It's my signature move! And there are usually some good cheesy group moves you can incorporate (Sunshine.... Moonlight.... Good Times..... Boogie).

Even better would be if some brave entrepreneur opened up a good old fashioned dance hall. I'm sure it's been attempted and failed by someone.... but I would have supported it if I'd known! What a great excuse to wear a dress and heels. There's not much sexier than dancing with a guy who leads well and holds his hand firmly on the small of your back. Live bands are good too. And punch. Partner dancing to a ballad at Molly Malone's with some sleazy Catholic guy while the embarrassingly tipsy 30-something women elbow you in the back and jostle for position is just not the same.

I was one of the minority who was sad when the 'set dances' finished at the school balls. I liked the Gay Gordans and waltzes and foxtrots.

*Note: I cannot show pictures of school dances because I had The Fringe. Also I had teenage body image issues and shuddered at the thought of a figure-hugging dress or going strapless. I'm so much cooler now! I have four cool dresses I never wear. I have my 'date dress'. Never fails!

*****

I was of course inspired to make this post by Dancing With The Stars. Go Beatrice!

I say someone should host a group-watching of the grand finale next week. The boys I flat with are not exactly keen on the show.... I need more sensitive girly pals to watch with! Men in touch with their feminine sides will suffice. You know who you are.

******

When I have kids I am going to give them freaky toys. I was inspired by the HARM bunny I saw at Popup (my aforementioned new favourite shop). It's freaky looking. I will also encourage the reading of 'Where the Wild Things Are' and other scary stuff. Scaring children is surely part of the privilege of parenthood.