Cows Go Moo

And 'Tigers Go Grrr' and 'Guns Go Bang'

I have the dubious distinction of having named our indoor netball team the past few times (I always ask for input and all I ever get is names for Sam that involve weapons).

It is a lovely group of people and it's nice to play on a team where you know nobody will give you the evils when you stuff up, rather they will laugh with you (honestly). I always look forward to our games together. Often, when we're warming up, I'll look over to the other team. They look more athletic than us, and younger too. They look like they go to the gym and run marathons. They look like they will beat us. But often, our team-work and knowledge of each other's games and our smartness on court mean that looks can be deceiving.

I feel like chronicling the key players from the Dynasty of Cows Go Moo. So I will. This will likely be of little interest to anyone but me (and probably Fish, Sam, Savage, Damon and Morgue since I mention them by name).

The Originals

Merv - Merv is a small man in stature, but big in heart and he has huge hands. He is of course known for his bullet passes, one of which was responsible for nigh breaking Sam's finger. He claims he holds back when he plays with us. I fear his REAL bullets.

Sarah - She would make the Allstar team of the dynasty. Versitile and athletic, she can play anywhere on the court. Perhaps most useful in the shooting position where her movement and cutting were masterful and her two-handed shot was deadly accurate. Also known for often falling over and doing the splits on court.

James - Mr Defence. He and I are the only ones left from the original line-up. Though not the tallest man on the court he often outplays his counterpart, leaping about for tips and steals and having great timing on his rebounds. He is best known for his yellow t-shirts and knee-high socks and floppy hair. He once got two two-pointers in one quarter. That will go down in the annals of history. I personally enjoy watching him play the shooting position (for comedic value). How can someone so intelligent and athletic shoot one-pointers so poorly? It defies logic!

Heidi - She very nearly gets classed as a 'little person' or 'dwarf' but is just a shade too tall. She is, however, probably the best centre we have ever had. She has a surprisingly powerful over-the-head-long-distance-pass and a great bounce pass into the shooter. She is a patient passer and waits for the cutter to do their work. She also runs her little butt off on defence.

Me - I try. My favourite position tends to vary - I like defence because I think it's the hardest position to play well and can be very satisfying if you 'figure the other player out'. Sometimes I'm too lazy to do that. I like centre because you have to run and run and run and I like feeding the ball to people off the net - it's fun. I don't think I'm too great at getting free for passes though. Sometimes I like shooting because it's easier to be good at (for me). Our team generally feeds well and Sam is easy to work with. I don't like it when I get prissy and start complaining to the ref about how rough the other team is being (sometimes I do it anyhow).

The Early Joiners

Sam - A specialist shooter, he has had some successful combinations with me and Sarah over the years. He shares my philosophy of never settling for the long-shot and always gains good position for the net-pass. An accurate one-point-shooter, he has recently developed his two-point-shooting as well so that he is a legitimate weapon there too. I personally enjoy it when he sees me about to pass the ball to him and yells out 'NOOO!', and I pass it anyway. It almost always works.

Fish - She is one of our specialist defensive players and works well with James. He roams, while she works on blocking and getting good position under the hoop. She often frustrates her opponents into contacting her away from the ball. She is also a handy one-point-shooter, having developed a good shot where she steps in and shoots in one motion (she is one of the few players who gets 'coaching' in the netball - it shows).

Players Who Have Come and Gone

Meredith - She was one of our most solid players. She could play centre and shoot with equal competance and always settled our mid-court down well. I remember her getting some very clutch two-point shots to aid comebacks and win games. She was also one of the only players who tried to tacticise and think of strategies to win games (I have taken to throwing bibs out randomly these days).

Harley and Andrea - Our lovely husband and wife combo. Both great athletes and calming influences on court. Harley had one of the surest sets of hands on the court and could make an awful pass look decent. He got tonnes of steals and was always open in the right place. Our silent asassin. Andrea looked like a choir-girl but was fiercely intense on court - sly even! A dirty defender, she could weasel her way to where the ball was going and frustrate the heck out of attackers.

Liz - She was our only defensive specialist female. That is all she would play. She had good height and size and could rebound with the best of em. Strangely enough, she played better when drunk. A good combination with James was forged.

Booner - A great utility player, his height was useful anywhere on the court and he would often move around to where he was needed. Helluva nice guy too.

Tony - A huge wing-span enabled him to get many a steal. Bad balance made him lose many a steal once he'd gained it. While his one-shooting was awkward looking, it gained in accuracy and he moved well without the ball. Incredibly fit and never gave up. A shoulder injury ended his career with the team, as Morgan callously stepped in and orchestrated a coup against him. Little did he know....

New Comers

Michelle - She is our new utility-girl and has come back from a possible career-ending injury to dominate. Another feisty one who likes to win, she comes up with cunning techniques to irk opposing players while still appearing 'nice' on the surface. Her shooting is accurate and she is smart on defence. Probably our best option at centre at the moment. Solid.

Morgan - Very tall. A thinking-man's player, he analyses the game well and beats himself up over anything that's going wrong. Luckily, that's not too much, due to his long reach on defence, patient passing and solid two-shooting. He came as a filler and we never let him leave (that's what happens to them all... muahaha).

Ken - Goodness. What can I say..... He calls for the ball with enthusiasm and volume, even when he's not free. Many is the time I have started whistling the Harlem Globetrotters theme song while he's been on one of his bad-passing-streaks (and not in a good way - our team would be the Washington Generals). But it's comedy gold! He is tenacious on defence and has a strong bullet pass that is impressive when it hits the mark. On offence he has developed a lot of subtlty in his passing game and can do nice little feeds now.

Sam R - Another wee centre, she has a good sense of where to be to get steals and very quick hands. She often out-rebounds taller players on defence and gets the odd two-pointer on offence. Her shoes make her look even faster.

Key Fillers

Richard and Kirsten - Rich can play anywhere and always makes your day brighter (maybe I should start calling him 'the Candy Man'). Kirsten surprises me by being able to shoot from all the way down near the ground ... and actually get the ball in the hoop! I am tall and patronising, muahaha. 95% of the male population are too short for me to date - jokes on me!

Savage - Also hilaaaaarious. I like doing the 'I've got my eyes on you' signal to her. She nearly maimed someone last time we let her play. She has a knack of being open right under the hoop.

Damon - He used to hang from the washing-line as a child in order to stretch his limbs, rumour has it. Enormous wing-span (all the better to steal the ball with, my dear). He can also shoot, when required. I enjoyed shooting with him recently. A deft wee passer in the circle.

My Brother - Jolly athletic and jumpy. He puts his basketball skills to use and does smart passes. He combined well with Fishy in the attacking circle and got some good two-pointers (Larry Bird style) and lots of steals. Always looked like he was about to pass out from exhaustion, but never did.