Hmmmm, Top Ten most easy things to do a Top Ten about????

1) Top Ten Public Toilets in Wellington(the ones at the Embassy Theatre win, followed by the ones at The Cambridge)

2) Top Ten Ways to Annoy Your Flatmates Subtly(reboil the water from your hotwaterbottle in the jug and don't tell your flatmate that's what you were doing when she uses it to make a cup of tea)

3) Top Ten People You Would Have Killed if you HAD To(Tony Robbins!)

4) Top Ten Substitutes to Use When you run out of Toilet Paper(Ange used her undies and then threw them out)

5) Top Ten Places Ange has Lost her Underwear(I may have said too much already)

6) Top Ten Treats to Buy Yourself When you're on a Diet(magazines, face-masks, chewing-gum....)

7) Top Ten Worst Alcoholic Drinks Ever(whiskey-bloody-sour)

8) Top Ten Children's Stories Ever(Where the Wild Things Are)

9) Top Ten Ways to Get Revenge on An Ex(and no, Ange, you aren't allowed to be invisible when you do it....)

10) Top Ten Ways to be Obnoxious and Annoying at a Party where you Hardly Know Anyone
(me and Cass have dozens of ideas! Start with fake accents! then insist you're architects)

Is seemed so logical at the time....

.... to lay the iron down on the carpet for just a second while I folded my pants.

In reflection, carpet is different from fabric and it melts. Very quickly.

Throwing a glass of water on it didn't help either.

Reminds me of the time I got some toast stuck in the toaster at my dad's house. I was turning it upside down and peering into it when I noticed a strange shape at the bottom of it......... a small black mound with a tail....... Some poor mouse has got stuck in there and over the course of some time been chargrilled. Who knows how long ago that was....

Me and my dad agreed to never ever ever tell my brother, who had enough irrational food obsessions about germs and oestrogen* in the plastic wrappers without having to add a rather rational fear to his list.

*Note: I very nearly spelt this right before using dictionary.com to double-check. Only one letter off and I got the tricky bit at the beginning right! Spelling is not my 'thing'.

Fancy TVs Don't Work Good

TVs and DVDs and Silly Kid Names

Last year I decided to buy a new TV. I was inspired by my flatmate at the time, The Baron. He was minimalistic and snobby in his decor preferences His family bought a $600 toaster and no, it didn't have magical powers or gold coating. It just made 'very nice toast'. I admired his LCD screen TV (tell me if I'm using the wrong terminology there). It was sleek and took up hardly any room at all. My TV was bulky and took up my entire dresser.

So I set off to buy a sleek new TV for my room. My old one wasn't fancy enough to connect to my new DVD player anyhow. I then realised they cost up to $800. But I bought one anyhow, and it wasn't until I was about to sign the papers and key in my PIN that the salesman mentioned that I'd most likely need an outdoor aerial because these kind of TVs for some reason don't work well with bunny-ears.

Oh well. So I have this fancy sleek TV that gets crap TV reception.

Hence today I turned it on and was not inspired by the little I could see on TV2 or TV1 (TV3 wasn't quite visible to identify what was on), and thought I'd put a DVD on instead. At this point I was again reminded that I have no DVDs that you can just kinda put on in the background while you're doing other stuff. Mostly because half of them have bloody subtitles!

I have this odd mix of low-brow comedies and films with sub-titles that would be found in the delightful 'arthouse' section of the video store. Not much in between. Except for the stuff that I inherited from a guy I dated last year (I offered to give them back, but he went straight into 'avoid mode' and no exchange session was ever arranged. I have only since seen him two times, both while entering supermarkets, once looking like crap having run down the road to get there - isn't that always the way???).

So anyway, I've settled on the bonus DVD of a live concert that I got with a Coldplay CD. I'm singing along happily. Me and Chris Martin harmonise well. I too would have happily called a child 'Apple'. Same principle as George Costanza wanting to call his kid 'Seven'. Actually, most people who know me will have already heard my speil on how good a name 'Mango' would be.....

If you see anything you like in my blurry picture, feel free to place an order at the Not-Kate DVD library. I have 'Crash' too, but it's somewhere else in another pile. I have a lot of piles.

A few of my favourite things

Favourite Household Chore: Growing up my job was always folding the washing. I like folding. It's satisfying looking at the neat piles of washing I create from all that chaos in the washing basket. On a similar theme I enjoy taking a filthy bathroom sink and making it shiny and perfect. Cleansing!

Favourite Crayola Crayon Colour: Periwinkle Blue.

Favourite Part of Refereeing Basketball: I like setting up the free-throws and making sure everyone's standing in the right places. I like saying, 'Two shots - first one's dead'. I think I get to do it a lot because I'm such a bad ref that the other person is inevitably busy MAKING the foul call.

Favourite Kidism: A guy I went to school with had a son. When his son was quite little, he had said something was 'upside-down'. A while later the kid flipped it over and said triumphantly, 'Now it's downside-up!'.

Favourite Toast Combination: Vogels toast with smooth Eta peanut butter. It melts into the toast. Mmmmmmm. I'm gonna go make ham and cheese on toast right now!

Philosophical Winter Thoughts

The last two days have been so utterly miserable, weather-wise. I feel like looking for some bright spots about this crappy weather. As a heater-hogger it is not my favourite time of year.

Top Ten Things about Winter
1) You can leave chocolate lying out and it doesn't melt.
2) You don't have to shave your underarms very often. Some people (who shall remain nameless) take this opportunity to experiment and see how long they can grow the hair on one underarm before they start physically repulsing people..... apparently she got to the point where you could see it creeping out the side of her arm even when it was flat against her body.3) I no longer feel obligated to just order the chicken salad. Hearty food rules!
4) Less ice-cream cravings.
5) Going through the Hataitai tunnel on foot is actually a relief (it's sheltered and the winter wind makes the fumes less fumey).
6) Beanie Time! Unless you have a GIANT head and you look like a fisherman when you wear hats (not mentioning names).7) It's more socially acceptable to be pale and pasty.
8) Playing upstairs at WIS is actually bearable (there is no heart-attack risk from heat exhaustion).
9) Cuddling is both fun AND an economical form of heating (especially for a bad-circulation body-heat vampire like me).
10) Fog is pretty. Rain sounds nice when you're inside. Puddles are fun when you have gumboots.

I was possibly reaching a bit there but it's better to accentuate the positives, isn't it?
Who's hosting the mid-winter christmas party on June 25th, huh? Who wants to be my mid-winter christmas secret santa? There's a $5 limit and you can't go wrong buying me crazy stuff from the Asian aisle at the supermarket. Who isn't partial to a refreshing can of SWEAT?
(Note how the low-angle and petite size of the can emphasise The Gollums.)

For no particular reason I will now show you a picture of my dad's spare rib. He had it removed last year as part of an operation to stop the deterioration of his back (hence his need to walk with a gentlemanly cane - and you just thought he was being eccentric!).


He kept it in a tub for ages and insisted that anyone who visited have a look. I learnt that rotting human flesh does not smell nice. He's the kind of person who would have his kidney stones made into jewelry. It explains a lot about me :) I'd do the same!

Leg Waxing

I'm going to wax philosophical about waxing. Boys may like to stop reading.

My top ten 'Leg Waxing facts'
1) I almost always do my right leg first, starting at just below the knee and going right around. Then doing my lower calves, ankle, knee and lower-thigh. Repeat for left leg. I have found most girls have this kind of routine.
2) I like 'Nair' the best. Veet and Nads are dumb.
3) It is handy to have a damp flannel nearby so that when your fingers get sticky you can unsticky them.
4) If you lose the wooden smearer-thingie, you can easily use a Magnum icecream stick.
5) Applying talcom powder to your legs before waxing helps because it takes away any residual moisture and it shows you where you've been.
6) Flatmates tend not to appreciate you waxing your legs in public areas or leaving the strips strewn around the laundry (oops).
7) There is nothing more satisfying than looking down and seeing that you've ripped off HEAPS of hairs from the root and it's all stuck in your waxy gooey strip you just yanked off.
8) There are few things in life more painful than waxing your bikini line.
9) I usually need to rewax after 2.5 weeks.
10) I usually can't be bothered waxing for another 1.5 weeks after that.

And it is just ridiculous how girly boys are about pulling off a teeny weeny band-aid.

I feel like doing another top ten.

Top Ten Pieces of Advice for Internet Dating
1) Go with your instincts. They are usually right. If someone seems a little dim, they probably are. If someone seems a little obnoxious, they probably are.
2) You will know within five seconds how you feel about someone once you meet them. If they are wearing a shirt with flames on it you can cut that down to two seconds.
3) Photos can be misleading. You can look fairly normal on film and turn out to be a younger version of Mr Bean.
4) The process tends to go: smile, message, exchange first-names, more messages, exchange cell-phone numbers, possibly a phone call or text, meet for a 'casual' drink or lunch. It varies after that.
5) The usual rules and etiquette of monogomy do not apply. People may be messaging and flirting with multiple people and have dates with multiple people within days. The true sign of commitment is when they take their profile down.
6) Short messages like 'how you doin'?' are 'feelers' that are sent to many many people. If they don't comment specifically on your profile they are either not terribly keen or morons. Either way, not worth it.
7) Best keep away from guys who mention how busy they are with work more then three times on the first page of their profile.
8) It's like karaoke - not nearly so bad once you have the first one under your belt (and probably easier if you're drunk, though not necessarily better).
9) More people have done it than you think. Just about everyone I know in their late-20s who is single has at least dabbled.
10) It's like shopping! You look down the list of vital stats and can be as fussy as you like ... 'Too short'..... 'Too unqualified'.... 'Can't punctuate'..... 'Likes car-racing'.....

Hutt People...

... are good people!

The road-trip crew from today make it less embarrassing to admit I'm half-Hutt (genetically).

Pet Peeve of the Day:
... when you've been really looking forward to a steaming hot shower and somebody else got in before you so it's only luke warm and you have to race against the clock to condition your hair. 

Things my Dad Taught Me

#182 - Letting things go can be beneficial

In chess, it is ok to make an exchange of pieces as long as you come out of the exchange on top. This can happen if you lose less pieces or pieces with less value (going by the rough rule that Knights=3, Bishops=3, Pawns=1, Rooks=4, Queens=5) or if you gain even a small advantage out of it, having equal losses. For example, you may cause them to double up their pawns, or create a pawn island. Or you may know that they prefer Knights to Bishops and force them to lose their preferred piece. You may cause them to use a move retreating, while you continue advancing.

This goes against my traditional game-playing tactics. As a child I was always very cautious (and I still am in lots of ways). I would save my money in my Snoopy pencil case, watching it pile up, whereas my brother would spend his whenever he felt like it. I would refuse to actually play anyone at marbles because I really liked my collection and didn't want to risk losing any.

I had a rubber collection and people in my class were trading them with each other. I traded a rubber shaped like a christmas stocking with my friend for one she had shaped like a dice. Later that day I regretted my trade so much that I stole my rubber back out of her bag. She had a feeling I'd done that when she noticed it was missing and searched my bag for it. It was right in the outside pocket, but must've been just out of her sight as she looked, so I got to stand there and righteously say, 'See! It wasn't me!' That's one of two times in my life I can remember stealing something. The girl ended up being my best friend in later years and I think I eventually admitted what I'd done to her.

I digress.

The point is that when I was little my dad would try to get me to play chess against him (he had really enjoyed chess in the 70s and even joined a club once, only to find that he was way out of his league after going that first time, and quitting). My brother doesn't have a mathematical brain, so I doubt he had the patience for chess as a child (though he had a phase of enjoying it in his early 20s, where he found some kind of affinity with Bobby Fisher).

So, he probably enjoyed that at least one person in the family was vaguely interested. When we played, I would hate it any time I lost a piece. I would probably have a small sulk until he put my piece back on the board and let me retake my previous move so that my piece was safe. Dads are good like that. This meant my early childhood chess experiences eventually left me somewhat jaded. Why play a game where you have all these pretty pieces with neat names, only to have to lose them (or have them stolen away)?

But at some point he convinced me that sacrificing a piece could actually be a good thing, and I eventually learned to do this without it hurting too much.

And sometimes the game gets a lot more interesting once the board gets less congested. It gives you cleaner lines and allows your more powerful pieces room to move. Clutter and holding on to pieces just for the sake of it can slow the game down.

It's ok to lose things if the overall change for you is positive. This is something I'm still trying to learn in life.

Thanks, Dad.

* * *

And the kid in the top video clip is super-cool. If you're gonna have a prodige kid, might as well be a music prodige like that!

Champ Eens

Monday.

I helped out at the Senior A basketball final, at the impressive TSB Arena. I had to do the 24-second-clock (the worst of all the jobs!). I only acted mildly biasedly when I let out a 'YES!' when the 6'2 girl from the other team got fouled out.

We won. Division Two Champs.

Tuesday

I went to support the Junior A team in the final of the top top top top top Wellington/Hutt Valley/Porirua/Paraparaumu division.

I took lots of photos and yelled out a lot. The wee girls hadn't beaten this team all season. The other team, HVHS, was in fact undefeated all year.

We won.

There was much excitement to be had.

I am a proud teacher in charge of (but not presently coaching) basketball.

* * *

And then there's the other team, whose biggest victory was only losing a game by 9 points (that was a close one!). Can't win em all. What we lack in depth, we make up for in Beatiness.

V v busy.

Goodness - I was trying to make a day to meet up with someone next week and it's actually not easy! Rumpus plans on Satur day, Cassie-organised-voucher-book dinner on Satur night, netball for Michelle on Sunday, then I have a couple of basketball finals* to go to (I will be part of the officiating team on the score-bench - VERY important) and Marty is performing on Wednesday.

What's the general feeling on going to The Realm quiz on Thursday next week? Sam? We haven't been to a quiz together in aaaages. My brain may be getting even rustier (and Leo is getting laaa-aaarger). Basketball starts up in about a month, so I wanna get in some quizzes while my nights are still free.

* * *

Me and Reidun had good fun trying to stalk people we know on Facebook last night. It is an EXCELLENT stalking tool. She looked up every ex-boyfriend she's ever had. My exes are either computer-illiterate or have annoyingly common names. Not much luck there.

I like that my high-school friends network is growing. Good old Ewok is on there now, Ange! And what high school grouping would be complete without IJ? The bunch of people I've added are really good sorts - but other than Ange I haven't seen any of them regularly since school finished.

I created a group for us ex-Nua folk. I was going to start a conversation thread, but you know what the first thing that popped into my mind was? Funny stories about old teachers.... but then I remembered that could be ME! East girls could be writing about ME in ten years time and mocking whatever it is about me that they mock (I'm sure there's more than I'll ever really know about....).

* * *

Yeah..... I didn't even have much to say. Just thought I'd write something new.

* * *

I have another medical condition, but after some negative feedback about THE TOE PHOTOS I shall keep my photos of infection to myself. That'll teach you all! You're missing out on a beauty.

* I am assuming we will win our semi-final tomorrow night with the senior team. I realised I have been overconfident of that all week when one of the girls pointed out to me that the team we play actually scored 70 points on us last time.......... I was sure we had dominated them.......

Two things two things two things

1.

Scarf

My Multi-Coloured Harry Potter Scarf that I knitted years ago has recently gained school-wide fame. He was cast as 'The Scarf' in the school production of Beauty and the Beast, beating out at least two other scarves for the role.

It was his 'earthy' home-made quality and multi-coloured personality that won over the director.

I saw his performance on Thursday night. He came out with the crazy-inventor-father dude and was then lost in the woods. There is later on a tug-of-war when Belle tries to wrestle him away from the fiend who has found him. He did his own stunts.

If I may say so myself, he was a scene stealer. I heard reports that on opening night he was a little nervous, and got himself wound around the wheels of the inventor's car-like-contraption, causing moments of panic. We all get nervous, I reassured him afterwards. And he did better after that.

There were parents and grandparents of the human actors in the audience - but none were beaming as brightly as I was at the performance of my wee Scarf.

He is now offically an ac-tor (say it the posh way, please). He can go to parties with other famous ac-tors wearing their own scarves (as ac-tors are want to do).

2.

Netball

I like being in a league that we can win. It is happy-making for me.

I was going to say after the game that I particularly enjoyed beating a team of people who look like they go to the gym and go for long runs..... unlike us. But then I realised, I may actually be the only one in the team who is a non-exercisor and that I should not bring you all down with me by making that generalisation.

I have been invited back to play basketball (for my old old team, the one who decided they didn't want me last season after I quit the new team to go back to them).

That will make me less winter-flabby, I hope.

I have been hibernating.

I have a good store of acorns.

When you go to Hede next, get Set Menu D. You won't be disappointed and everyone will look enviously at your plate. Good call, Ange.

I just learnt a bunch of old-school Beatles songs on my geetar before going out last night (almost made me late - I drove up just as the taxi arrived at Ange's flat). Actually, they are from the later-albums they did (all on the I am Sam soundtrack which is entirely made up of modern artists doing covers of them - nice album).

All through dinner I was tapping my foot to 'I'm Looking Through You' which was running through my mind as I made my chitter-chatter with Ange and her flatmates and invited guests.

The tradition of seeing people actually fall over completely on the bit of floor between the bathroom and the first few tables continues. They seriously need to do something about that. It always seems to be slippery, and there are always drunk girls in high heels.......

I tried to convince everyone that white-people should never ever high-five (low-fives are permissable). Me and my brother decided on this rule years ago while watching John Paxon (or some other white Bulls player - maybe Steve Kerr) try to return a high-ten from Jordan.... and miss completely. He went in too high and his finger-tips were completely above Jordan's, who ended up high-tenning the other guy's wrists......

* * *

Marty is my Blog Reader of the Week for initiating a string of poetry. There is a very very special prize for this (similar to the one Richard will one day get for winning the DWTS challenge, as soon as he posts the required photo of him with Suzanne).

Balancing

FACEBOOK

I have been prioritising Facebook over Blogger for a few days - I feel disloyal. Blogger has been good to me over the last year.... other than the fact that inserting pictures tends to bugger up my paragraphing (which, as an English teacher, I am very fussy about).

Facebook seems to only really encourage brief interactions. I've been perusing people's 'walls' and there are a few comments - most of which are from months ago. People find each other and say, 'Hey - good to hear from you - what are you up to?'..... and then disappear again.

The only communication I have generated on the whole has been from posting unflattering photos of other people. I feel a backlash coming up....... It really isn't intentional - I'm just egocentric and only look at myself ........ you bystanders are insignificant :) Oh, and I think you ALWAYS look fantastic......

* * *

POET TRY

I came up with an idea for a junior poetry activity late last night (while in bed and half-asleep) and tried it out today..... and it went really well!

One student wrote about 'my head overflowing/thoughts sinking down/as I try to pull them to the surface' and another one describled writer's block as 'purple/cut off circulation of ideas' and another described her exercise book as a 'paper-stage' and another girl has a teacher harrassing her to let her see her poem but she tries to explain 'It's written down/inside my head'.

Step 1

Write for two minutes on the topic I am about to tell you. It is a race and we are going to count how many words you come up with, in full sentences. The topic is - LOVE! GO!

Note: Everyone is trying to beat Ruby because we've done this activity before as a brainstorming stage and she always seems to win. Amanda's competitive streak comes out (she is a rep soccer player) and it's a two-horse race....

Step 2

Ok - I tricked you. Love is totally irrelevant to what we are going to write the poem about. All we did that for was to go through the process of trying to get ideas and then put them on paper under pressure.

Answer the following qustions

1 - Describe what the process of getting ideas written down is like for you [feelings and adjectives].

eg - I have too many ideas in my head - hard to pick one. I was blank - nothing came to mind. Writing is hard for me - I see an idea in my head, but it doesn't come out the same. I can write lots - but it doesn't make sense - it's all ramble.

2 - If that activity was a running race, describe what your 'performance' was like compared to the rest of the class [extended metaphor].

eg - I stumbled at the starting blocks. I raced ahead but ran out of puff, words failing me and my pen stopping. I wrote steadily, in the middle of the pack.

3 - Can you think of words to do with water that you can use in relation to your writing process? [extended metaphor]

eg - They flow through my head. They drip onto the page slowly through my pen. They freeze in my head and then melt slowly onto the page. They are dammed up - but suddenly break free like a waterfall. They trickle. They swell up like a wave then crash down on the page.

4 - Look at your paper. Describe what the actual writing you just did looks like [visual details]. Can you give it a personality? [personification]

eg - My words are scruffy and crooked. The writing looks like it's been shot and smattered across the page. It stands in tidy rows. It flows and curls.

5 - Look at your pen and your hand when you are writing. Describe what the pen is like, how it writes, what your hands does when you write (or stop writing) [visual details and interesting verbs].

eg - My hand waves back at me from the page. My pen is thick and inky and writes fat lines. My pencil is blunt and drags across the page. My hand stands frozen. The pen dances across the paper.

6 - Think of as many words or images as you can to do with the idea of BEING STUCK [diction, building up an idea].

eg - In cement. Crammed. Blank. Frozen. Still. Empty. Quiet.

7 - Think of as many words or images as you can to do with the idea of HAVING A JUMBLE OF IDEAS [diction, similes].

eg - It's like a maze of ideas. A gumball machine filled to bursting. Overflowing. Scattered. Vines. Tangle.

STEP 3

Write a poem about what it's like trying to write something on paper.

Eg

My Reluctant Poem by The Teacher

Thoughts grip and stick inside
Refusing to slide easily down
As I grapple for ideas.

Moments ago they frollicked freely
But now they freeze in fear

Of being trapped in the paper-cell.

I push and prod some into lines.
They surrender and plop darkly
Into smudgy pudgy splashes
Black-inky cross-armed
Scowling from the page
They bruised along the way.

The more they stare
The more I muddle.
Ideas scamper to corners
For fear they'll be pluckednext
And letters criss-cross quickly
Before I chain them into words.

The piteous few who didn't escape
Feel naked and fragile to prying-eyes
Of teachers and students
And me.

My jersy-sleeve covers them inshame
And only the towering t's and f's
Peek wearily from frayed
edges.

They hate what they have become.

An awkward-gawky, ug-lumbering

Poem.

Me and the Age of Technological Networking

I have again joined the bandwagon on another internet thing. I am what we, the Marketing Majors of the world, call a 'late adapter'. I wait until other people have tried stuff out (to see if it's gonna last, wait til the bugs are sorted out and it comes down in price) and then I give it a go.

I was a late-comer to MSN, relatively late-comer to Blogging (by Morgan and Svend time-lines anyhow - I joined in the Sam's-friend-wave of 2006) and now I am officially in Facebook.

I'm not entirely sure what the benefits of it are, above and beyond those already offered in oldfriends or blogging or myspace..... but I am sure there are some. I don't quite understand why you would want to 'poke' someone yet.

The big news is that I have 13 friends! That's a dinner party, baby. I can leave it at that and now pretend that I'm not really trying, you know.... Who cares about popularity...... Besides which, they're a good looking bunch of people - they reflect well on me. Start adding the riff-raff and my coolness stakes might go down.

I have added four friends from high-school, three ex flatmates and four fellow-teachers.... and Morgan and Kirsten. There's a Christmas song in there somewhere. I have little hope of adding any relatives - they are mostly older or younger (none in that 20-something demographic that I am still proudly a part of). And I don't know if it would be prudent adding too many work people.... the two I know who have it are fairly religious and may frown somewhat on my drunken ways in some of the photos/videos (they already give me 'the look' when asking how my love-life is at the moment, at the ready for sympathy or glee at good gossip).

I liked the idea that you could give people 'gifts' (not the actual gifts - that's lame - they're just icon thingies - but you could at least put interesting comments with them). But now I find out that after the first one you actually have to PAY to send them. I'm not that desperate for approval from my 'Friends' (even if they are super-cool Internet-land friends). That's just odd.

I like the idea of easily sharing and storing photos. And then I realised that the time I seem to most like taking photos is when I'm drunk. It seems a challenge to try and take a photo where I don't actually LOOK drunk...... A challenge which lasts a long time............ Again, not sure if that's the best image to be portraying for colleagues and old school friends (many of whom are also, for the record, fairly religious).

So we shall see.

I don't know if I have enough computer-time in me to maintain TWO regular sites. Updating my blog takes enough effort as it is. Trying to keep up with Facebook goings-on on top of that may mean that I have to cut back on real life activities like netball and supermarket shopping. It's a choice I'll have to make at some stage.

It is certainly an EXCELLENT tool for stalking. I looked up a guy I had a crush on at high-school. Got to find out what his job is now and what his new wife looks like..... He's actually quite good looking still - which I initially thought was a good thing, testament to my good taste, but then Reidun pointed out that it's actually much preferable to be able to look down on him and say, 'Hmmmph - you woulda been LUCKY to have me. You hear me, LUCKY!'

For now this is all I shall say - ADD ME TO YOUR FRIENDS LIST IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!

Last night was Ed's 30th birthday dinner at Tulsi. Me and Ange got there ridiculously early but insisted on going down to the table all on our lonesome.

We were in the middle of taking some self-portraits of us sitting at the table for 20 by ourselves when some more guests arrived.

Ed got there eventually. Fashionably late to his own birthday.

As usual, we gravitated to Ryan and quizzed him about what he's eating at the moment and when his next body building thing is. There was much unwanted physical contact from him, but it's our 'special thing'.

Dunc and Jerry (the famous duo from down in Dunners) were there and sang a stirring rendition of Desperado for Ed. Brought a tear to the eye.

@#$(*@#$*&#@$

WARNING: This is a basketball thing, won't make sense to many. Just wanted to vent a little so I can get it out of my system.

Ugh. Just reffed a yucky game. To be fair, I am not the super-duperest coach in the world..... but I'm not crap. I am competent.

But any time you ref basketball the hardest thing to call is the fouls, because to an extent it's a bit subjective. A little bit of contact is allowed, but you have to draw where the line is .... and you have to do it almost instantaneously - not time for reflection.

And I'm a bit slow at that! So, I generally don't call as many fouls as I could, and if you run into the right combination of teams they can start getting a bit tetchy and overly physical with each other as the game goes on....

The young girl I was reffing with wasn't too bad - but she made one strange call that our coach disagreed with (and I did too, actually). One of our girls went to block a shot, the shot went in but on the follow-through she hit the player's arm. The ref called that the basket counted but the foul was after the shot so they got the ball at the side. I said to her that I'd give a free-throw because the foul was committed in the act of shooting, but she insisted it was AFTER the shot had been released .... and she was a young girl and I didn't wanna over-rule a call so I said, 'Ok then - your call.' But I think after that our coach was on the war-path a bit, being very difficult.

The first half was fine. Then in the third quarter it got yucky. The coach from our team, and his son, were yelling at us refs from the sideline..... the girls were getting called for fouls and then bitching about it, and giving each other little pushes.

The coach's daughter got called for two offensive fouls by the other ref (which I thought was fair enough - she was putting the shoulder in out of frustration) and she got very aggro. A few plays later she pushed a girl over and for a few seconds all hell broke lose (ok - slight exaggeration - but we're talking about a team that in the past I have called my Mini UN because they're so cute and lovely).

Two girls from the other team (a private girls' college, would you believe) came running over to confront her..... I actually had to pull them apart and blow my whistle lots!

I had one of those 'Hmmmmm..... so much just happened in a few seconds that I can't quite figure out what to do....' moments....... So I just recommended to the coach that he take his daughter out because she was losing her cool and gave the ball to the other team.

After that we called every bloody foul we could lay our eyes on and both teams got in the penalty pretty quick.

But it was ugly basketball.

I don't think the coach from our school likes me much now :( Oopsy daisy. Couldn't wait for the game to end. I don't think anyone was enjoying it by then.

I just hate it when sport's not played in good spirits. And I hate when I feel like it's party my fault for not controlling the game properly. And I hate when I feel a bit off-side with people from my own school. It's not a positive way to spend a Friday night.

Growing Up

Today I had to get new tyres for my car. That is a first for me. I had to go out and write down the details on the side of my wheel and then tell the guy on the phone.

Apparently my wheels were quite out of alignment. The guy reckoned that when the lady drove into the side of my car it might've moved the chassey (?) a bit. Bloody mean lying lady! I had just gotten used to having to correct my direction frequently (like one of those people drive a car in front of blue-screen in an old movie, turning the wheel willy-nilly either way, without looking at the road).

It was fairly painless.

Now I just have to figure out how to get the bloody new bulb into the headlight thingie on my car and I'll be able to pass my warrant!

* * *

'My Kid Could Paint That' (film fest doco) was great.

In the morning I went with two of my best and brightest students to a lecture by the director at the American Embassy. We had to walk through metal detectors and hand in our cell-phones and pass our bags under a scanner. Very serious stuff.

One of the kids has a wallet with Communist symbols on it.... she realised this just as she was getting it out to produce photo-ID.... Oops. She hid it in the palm of her hand. Bless those angsty liberal teenagers and their political statements.......

The talk was very good. It was this American guy, possibly of Turkish descent (Amir Something), who was quite pleasant looking and olive-skinned, wearing traveller's clothes. A bit short for me (plus he was holding hands with a girl at the screening that night).

He told a good story and explained things nicely. It was a perfect documentary to talk about with Media Studies students - all about the ethics of making a film about people you have gotten to know, and how he was conscious that how he framed 'the truth' in his film would affect them hugely. It was very reflective on the whole construction-of-truth process, the film, because the main issue is that we don't really know if the kid was really do the art unaided or not. There are elements of doubt both ways.

I went to the film that night with Reidun, who has an art degree, and he spoke afterwards, holding the audience's attention for a good hour or so until he waved us all good-bye. It was interesting talking with Reidun about what constitutes 'art' and where the value comes from and what modern art is (etc) because she has sold abstract art for decent money and has her own views and what she wants people to get out of her pieces.

We ate Tangy Fruits.

THE POWER

OF THE EX

I was trying to think of something to write about (other than infected toes and dead fish and knitting and Harry Potter - which perhaps aren't the most gripping of topics!) and the first thing that came to mind is the extent to which several people I know's lives have been affected by exes lately.

One of them came home from The Warehouse and was visibly shaken from seeing the new partner of an ex shopping for homeware, which brought about fears that The Ex had moved nearby. She kept only getting half-views of the woman and had to stalk her through several aisles before confirmation was possible (somewhere in Manchester, I believe).

Another couple of friends are on that horrible puppet-like string where they can only unconvincingly say, 'Yeah - I'm better off without him/her'... but then a few minutes later they can admit the truth (with a sigh). Horrible place to be in! That place where you logically 'know' it's over, but there's still that little hopeful part of you..... which needs to be STAMPED ON AND EXTINGUISHED. The little part that, any time you get a message on your phone, still hopes it's them.

This is further evidence that the best way to break up is The Sticky Plaster method, where you do it in one fell swoop (sure, it hurts at the time) and then it's OVER. You cut all contact for a while, wallow in misery, but eventually get over it. As long as the ex is still in your life in some way, still making contact, it's bloody hard to forget about them!

I recently saw an ex after six months or so, and it wasn't too painful. Ok, so I had that brief feeling of, 'Oh yeah...... I remember why I liked you,' and feeling nostalgic about the good stuff..... but it was reasonably quickly followed by the remembering of the OTHER stuff. The stuff that made it a good idea to break-up. Anyhow, now I can happily run into him on the street and not have to quickly duck down a side alley to avoid contact (it's been done!). The potential for awkwardness has been conquered.

Anyhow.... all you smug* coupley people out there, take a second and stop and feel sympathy for the Plight of the Singles (the angst and melancholy, the highs and the lows....) and thank the lord that you are no longer one of us. I tell ya, it can be emotionally exhausting!

* * *

I have finally waxed my legs. It's been weeks, possibly even months, since I did that last. With no basketball and not much boy-contact there's just been no motivation. It has severely limited my work wardrobe (no footless stockings or 3/4 length pants or skirts without stockings) and I have worn long pants to netball for a while now.......

I am a woman again!

* * *

I am going to a lecture by one of the directors in the Film Festival (the one about a child art prodigy) with a few students. It is at the American Embassy and I have to take photo ID. Exciting! I have often gone past that high-walled, heavily guarded compound and wanted to sneak in...... While I don't actually have to sneak, I'm still going to hold onto that mind-set of being somewhere I shouldn't. It'll be like I'm James Bond, on a special mission.

I may challenge my students to

1) Find evidence that Bush is linked to some September 11 conspiracy

2) Take as many free things as possible

* * *

*ok, so most of you aren't 'smug' - but it helps us to feel better about our side of the fence to imagine you are.

I hope Reidun was house-sitting last night. I decided to have a marking-break at 10pm and play my guitar and sing along really loud. I had the house alllll to myself (I'm fairly certain).

TA DA! IT'S FINISHED!

I took my wee Mazda in to get vehicle-tested. I knew it would fail because it's got a headlight that needs a new bulb (I have bought the bulb but can't for the life of me figure out how to get it in there!). But figured I had a free afternoon so would see what the damage was all up.

I have to get a new tyre as well - and the guy said I might as well get both front ones 'cause the other one's not far behind. And get the alignment checked 'cuase he reckons it's a bit off.

Ah well! I was expected that and was surprisingly chipper afterwards. He didn't say anything about the brakes or tow-bar sized hole in the side.

* * *

I thought posting a picture of my buoyent dead fish wasn't bad enough.... so here's a photo of my still-infected toe! Close up! I purposefully left the flaking skin on there, for effect. I like how there's a line where the infection stops very suddenly, and the peeling stops as well. I like to poke the red bit and say, 'Sore!' and then poke the not-red bit next door and say, 'Not sore!' It's a fun game.

Two Things Happened Today.

I entered the Harry Potter craze by joining the queue and buying my first ever book in the series. The queue stretched out of Borders and down the road a bit. The English teacher in me smiled at the thought of people lining up to buy a book.

Me and Marty then formed a two-person book-club for the afternoon and ate, drank coffee and read in near silence. Every now and then I'd break it with my ignorant questions like, 'So is Malfoy a bad guy?' and 'What's The Burrow?' but he was very wise and sagelike and knew the answers to everything.

I am up to page 99 and will continue reading now.

* * *

Penfold was discovered dead. He used the be the black fish, but has discoloured somewhat with his sudden illness. Ange claims he starved to death. I claim the other fish just kept beating him to the food. The other fish is swimming happily about his dead body. Long live Motley!