But wait - penguins can't fly!

Our netball team has moved into the era of 'I Pity the Fool'. Morgan is to credit (blame) for the name change.

I think it's only fitting that certain players get cast with appropriate nicknames. Who get to be BA, Hannibal, Murdock and Face?

The girl playing defence for the other time was a prime example of 'what-not-to-do' in that she got pissy and lost her cool with us. She even refused to shake hands. Now, I've done that on ocassion myself - but never to a team so nice as US! I still don't quite get why she was such a pissy mood. I sure as heck hadn't mistreated her. I expect right about now she'll be reflecting and thinking 'Hmmm.... might've over-reacted just a tad.....'.

* * *

Pet Peeves - Edition 7

1) When you rip off your toenails and there's a jagged bit left and it scratches on the sheets when you go to sleep so you have to get up in the middle of the night to cut it off.

2) When I can can't get the label off ornamental things.

3) When I wash pillowcases and they don't get dry in time to put them back on before I go to bed and I have to sleep on raw stuffing.

4) Changing the bag in the vacuum cleaner. That cloud of dust and grime that bursts out of the bag makes my glands swell in anticipation.

5) Drippy taps. I have an acute sense of hearing.

* * *

In an interesting bit of work-place developments...... We were ('we' being me and my editor-in-arms) called to see the principal today regarding last year's magazine. The issue at hand seems to be that we edited an article and to make it clearer to the students reading the magazine, we added in a title when the property manager guy was mentioned (the kids having no idea who Mr L_____ is).

Turns out the title we added was below him. 'Groundsmen' are underlings. People must be pointing at him in the line at the supermarket and laughing.

I hate petty complaints.

They make me want to abuse my new-found knowledge that the photocopier in the library does not distinguish between A4 and A3 and charges you the same for both....... I could go crazy with that info. Giant handouts for everyone.

I'LL PUT OUT YOUR INVISIBLE FLAMES! YARP!

Had a lovely day with Ange (who was avoiding her flatmate's friend and his random score who were 'sleeping' on the floor in her lounge after coming home drunk last night). One of the many joys of flatting - random people fornicating in your lounge when you want to watch crap Sunday morning TV with your cereal.

Saw 'Hot Fuzz' and agree with Morgan's take on it (see his blog). Twas good. Yarp.

I saw 'Tellabega Nights' yesterday and it was fairly average with a few funny moments. The two lines I have managed to get into everyday conversations from it are 'If you're not first, you're last' and 'I'll put out your invisible flames!'.

Someone once told me that Will Ferrell is one of the best steal-sceners and character actors, but can't quite manage to carry a film by himself. This film might evidence that opinion.

Still a pretty cool idea to call your son Power Ranger.

* * *

Have bought Gilmore Girls - Season 5. It is the era of Loralei and Luke finally getting it on and Rory f**king up. Good times in Stars Hollow! Loralei is very skinny this series whereas Rory has finally got some hips. On the whole I think the stylist in this series did a great job with hair and wardrobe too.

I watched one of the new episodes on TV2 today. It has made me confused (having watched one of my Season 5 episodes directly before it, and now another one a few hours later....... I can't remember who Rory is going out with anymore....... ).

* * *

I bought two new plants. That brings my total pot-plant haul to four. I have almost killed one of them, but Reidun nursed it back to life with some tough-love pruning.

One of the new ones is a cactus. It's like a mini version of what you'd see in a cowboy movie. It will be hard to kill (but I will try). The other one has pretty red leaves.

* * *

I have again started my 'Must lose 5kgs so I fit my pants again' diet. Today I displayed will-power by not ordering a sweet treat with my mocha at Starbucks, not buying any snacks to eat with the movie (I just stole some of Ange's) and not having any sweet treats with my eggs florentine at lunch.

I am pleased with my efforts. My pants will fit in no time!

I even exercised with Ange today. We went on a 75 minute walk around the bays and up through Roseneath. We saw a lot of houses we'd love to own if we were squillionaires and mused over how the heck anyone affords to buy a house in Wellington.

HI TRACE THE ACE!

This is my 'clog' as you like to call it, Trace. It's fairly mundane but certainly a slice of life in Kate-land.

Tracey is a girl me and Ange went to school with. She is 'cool' (note my use of inverted commas) and used to let me cut her hair at high school. It looked 'cool' when I cut it.

Ange ran into her randomly at the cricket a few weeks ago but other than that we haven't seen her in donkey's years. Since uni at Massey.... so at least 6 or 7 years eh. Apparently she looks just the same though. We almost sang a song together in the school talent quest, or own comedic genius version of 'You say potatoe'. But she chickened out. Oh oh, I have played Ultimate Frisbee properly, Trace. It's fun! (We used to play our own version at lunchtimes.)

* * *

I've been home alone all weekend. It's nice. As I was telling Sam last night, it meant I could wax my legs in the lounge while watching a Gilmore Girls behind-the-scenes show. Not something you can do with male flatmates home. Or most female ones, for that matter.

And today I watched an all-new episode of The Gilmore Girls. I'm not sure if it's wise for Loralei to be dating Chris again.... time will tell!

Though.... I just realised I haven't made any contact with humans all day (other than through the magic of technology). That can't be healthy in large doses..... I made eye contact with a guy while I was returning a DVD at the library, does that count?

* * *

Kankle has faded significantly. It has proven my wait-two-weeks-before-seeing-a-doctor theory to be a good one. Almost exactly two weeks after I sprained it, I could finally feel an ankle bone in there somewhere. I came home from basketball on Thursday and it had magically shrunken. It was swollen before the game, and afterwards it was miles better..... Mysterious. Does this mean playing sports is GOOD for injuries? I think it does - I will follow that rule religiously from now on....

* * *
I bought a laminator. I will laminate everything possible from now on. Come to me for your laminating needs. Instead of giving out stickers as rewards to kids I'm going to give out small laminated pictures from magazines..... Cool.

Your next netball draws will be laminated. With stickers. On coloured paper. Any advances on 'I Pity The Fool' as our name? (I'm not gonna be fancy and insist they put foo' - so much could go wrong with that as I learnt with 'Chickens in Choppers', or 'Chicken Choppers' as we became.....)

* * *

I also bought a dress made out of merino wool. Time will tell if that was a wise purchase or not...... So much potential for disaster, and yet so pretty..... And it has pockets. I have never owned a dress with pockets! Genius!

* * *

Went to Sam and Fish's House-warming Part Deux. This one featured origami and icecream in cones. What will Part Trois bring us?

There was a cat on the lawn and a Damon in the kitchen and a Sam at the BBQ. Fish was all over the place.

On the way home rather than say 'Who the heck is that weirdo in the car next to me wearing a cheese-cutter hat?' I was able to say 'Oh - it's Damon!'.

* * *

I really am an old lady. My latest ailment was allergies-that-turned-into-something else. After having to carry a tissue box around school all day, I spent Friday night curled up in my duvet in front of the TV, with my hand pressed against my forrid to verify to myself that I did have a temperature...... Grandma would be proud of me. Though she still has many many more ailments. I have years of practice before I get to her category of complaining.

Lynne has been diagnosed with about a billion things after being rushed into hospital one night last week. Pneumonia is one of them. COPD is another (something about chronic and pulminary and disorder) which means she'll be on a nebuliser or two from now on. She doesn't do things by halves!

* * *

I am looking foward to school camp this week. It brings about another return to the scene of my flying-fox accident. I still have the scar on my thumb. I'm hoping I'll also get to ride a horse for the first time in years. I wasn't a horsie girl or anything, but they're fun.

I am enjoying the power-trip of getting to play God and choose the groups all the girls are in. I could help form friendships..... or destroy them...... THE POWER! I'm leaning towards putting the cliquey-loud girls all in one big group and letting them fight it out for dominance, and having the quiet nice girls in the other group.

* * *

Janine told me when I saw her the other day that my name had come up in conversation halfway across the world.

Some young lasses from Wellington were staying at her hostel in Edinborough where she works, so she says 'What school did you go to?' Turns out they went to the school I teach at. So she says, 'Do you remember Miss J____?'

And they reply, 'Yes! She's the one that was getting it on with Mr Ball.'

Hilarious! Me and Ken have permeated a rumour that has literally spread across the world. The power of teenage girls and their gossip! Do not underestimate it.

To this day I will swear to any girl who is forward enough to ask that nothing went on between us - but they think I'm just trying to put them off the scent. It's too good a rumour to NOT be true! Let them have their fun, we say.

A grab bag of goodies.

A colleague of mine who shall remain almost nameless (for those in the know he is The Model) made one of the biggest faux pas I have heard of in a while.

He has a mysterious on-again off-again relationship with his girlfriend and today he may well have nailed the lid of the coffin.....

His ex/gf had a wee drama queen display and stormed off after some mini argument...... then tried calling him several times. At this point he composed a text to someone mentioning something about his 'psycho girlfriend'.

He decided to delete it.... but on auto-pilot instead of deleting it he sent it to the first person in his phone book.....

.... who happened to be his 'psycho girlfriend'.

Woopsie. I suspect she's gonna show him what pscyho really looks like now! And half his clothes are still at her flat...........

* * *

Kankle seems to respond well to sporting activity. I experimented with indoor netball tonight and was not inhibited. My shoe was very 'snug' over top of Kankle. It is becoming an entertaining experiment. I like the theory that it could be some kind of fracture.... but after my severly-bruised-ribs I refuse to set myself up for such disappointment........ The heartbreak and disappointment is not worth building yourself up to thinking you have a real injury.................. I'll have to settle for strange-sprain.

* * *

It was meet-the-parents night at school. Year 9 students were to bring along their families to have a sausage and meet their teachers.

The aforementioned Model had mustard on his chin most of the time..... I didn't tell him :)

* * *

My Lynnie (Dad's wife) is in hospital after a miserable night of pain and not being able to breathe. That's stink. She's had an awful time of it healthwise the last few years. In constant pain. Nothing life-threatening but definitely detrimental on quality of life. Not fair at all.

Spelling B

I took part in the Year 9 Spelling Bee today.

I went along to support the girls in my classes, but was the only spectator there. So I thought I might as well get out pen and paper and have a go at the words.....

And I got 17/20. The winners got 19/20 and another girl got 18..... So I came fourth. I was quite happy with that! That's out of about 25 of the top spellers in 3rd form. I only got hallelujah, erudite and synonymous wrong (I put hallalujah, errudite and synonomous).

I got some really tricky ones right like 'paradigm'.

If the other three girls pull out I am the official reserve........

* * *

Kankle is going strong but raising it up seems to work a bit. I made myself a luxurious pile of kankle-raising-cushions on the couch after school and sat there while consuming my packet of crackers with pesto and cheese. How decadent!

* * *

I have revisited a supermarket carpark. It was traumatic, but I drove extra slow and anticipated people doing dumb things. I escaped unscathed.

* * *

Home & Away is pretty good at the moment. I say I watch it just to keep up with the kids.... but sometimes I secretly watch it for my own enjoyment.................... I'm glad Sally is still alive.

On my feet.

I seemed to be standing up all weekend. My kankle did not like it. It is now swollen to the tips of my toes. When I poke it, there are waves that ripple down my water-retaining balloonfoot. I suspect that I could artfully turn it into a fountain by poking it with a needle in a few places.....

Dancing for a couple of hours last night probably did not help. Clumsy drunk girls standing on my feet with their stilettos definitely did not help. Here is a mandatory drunk photo of me with Neenie (who is, by the way, looking great - not that you can tell 'cause I cut half of her out of the photo - there's only enough room for MEEEEEE). Me and Neen did our patented dance moves - Stir the Pot and The Rib Extension. Hilarous fun (for us). Note my hair is much shorter due to my haircut. Ahem. I went to Ange's hairdresser so we are now hair twins.

I actually conceded to icing it (my kankle, not my hair). Seems a little drastic! And all that did was direct the swelling from my ankle to lower down in my foot. I wonder if it will disappear out the end of my toes if I move the ice-pack lower.....

I understand what pregnant women go through in those final weeks. A tiny bit, anyhow. Water retension sucks. Much.

* * *

Me and Cass went to a wedding expo out in the Upper of the Hutt. The most amusing thing was the doll they put on the bonnet of the limosine. It's slightly demonic. Look closely. And I don't think the guy was switched on enough to be displaying it for intentionally comedic purposes. I guess there is a niche market for that kinda thing out in the Upper Hutt......

And for anyone crazy enough to think I was browsing the expo for myself (plan ahead - I say!) I will clarify that it was for Cassie and her next-January nuptuals. I was bridesmaiding. Not that the people trying to sell me stuff realised in time - they'd already given me the free samples and lollies..... Good deal!

* * *

For those of you keeping track, I have now broken a fair few rules I wrote about here. Do as I say, kiddies, not as I do! It's ok - I still think I'm cool and that's all that matters.

* * *

I'm sure there was something else I thought I'd mention.... Hmmmm........ What was it? Oh yeah - car stuff.

I have (sub)consciously avoided supermarket carparks since my accident. I have only been to the New World in Newtown - because it's a different suberb and under cover it doesn't count. Hence I have very little food left. I have been buying my lunch at school and going out to dinner as often as possible. I still have cereal and bought milk at the dairy, so breakfast is sweet (luckily I stocked up on Hubbard's the week before accident).

This accident may turn me into a supermarket-phobe. Or give me a strange eating disorder where I always have to eat-out. DAMN THAT LADY!

* * *

Paul has moved into the sleepout (as of an hour ago). He and Reidun are bonding over cigarettes. I am again the only non-smoker in the flat. What're the odds?

It's not fair that us non-smokers miss out on all that bonding time due to sitting inside by ourselves........... I was busy icing my kankle anyhow, so I couldn't go outside with them. I think they know each other's life stories now..... I'm OUT OF THE LOOP! I see why people take up smoking now..................................................... So I limped up the stairs to ice my kankle in private and blog about it. I blame the accident for my anti-socialness. I'm a shell of my former self..................................

* * *

Not sure what the effect of the lane changes around the Basin will be. Good or bad?

* * *

I might do a photo essay of drunk shots of me. I have a lot of them. Dating back to t-coll days. Digital cameras did not exist before that.

Done and Dusted.

Flatmate found. We put the ad on and had a zillion people come and look (ok, around 20). It became almost like a comedy routine - we'd be just starting chit chat with one, and another would come to the door. So one of us would have to become the secondardy tour guide while one person held the fort. It was a team effort for a change though, which was nice. We had one guy come around that seriously slipped through the gaps and none of us could remember talking to previously at all.

Met lots of lovely folk. No serious weirdos, which is suprising for such a cheap room..... The worst was a guy who had his girlfriend in tow (doing some PDAs, a lot of hand holding etc) and explained that they were christian so couldn't live together because of family issues and really just wanted somewhere to store his stuff and sleep, but would be at her house most of the time....... Two Chileans (including the guy who owns the restaurant in Newtown - Ange and Cass, you know who I mean). A girl from my basketball team (who Clayton seriously thought was a guy until we assured him afterwards it wasn't - he was actually going to comment that 'Anabel' was an odd name for a guy).

So fun and games!

Our lucky new flatmate is Paul the Glassblower. Farm boy - so now we have Levin, Blenheim, the Hawkes Bay and Feilding all represented. Just call us 'Small Town NZ meets Hataitai'. He won over Reidun by making her listen to his cat purring on the phone last night. Clayton liked the fact that he was fairly sure this one actually was a guy. Be sure to make that clear if you ever have to introduce yourself to him.

* * *

Netball was rather heart breaking. But you can't complain about a good hard game. It really was goal for goal. I quite like a game like that where you have to keep the concentration levels up. And we can't blame anyone but ourselves for losing, which is humbling but better than being able to bitch about the ref etc.

And at least we get a Sunday off now.

* * *

All the kids were asking if I was all better today and peering at my eye. Quite sweet really.

* * *

I have a student working at Woolworths Kilbirnie who's going to short-change all the middle-aged Pakeha women with frizzy hair and glasses until she's got back all my money (she seemed a little shocked when I told her it'd be $700).

Good to have people on the inside.

* * *

Does anyone think that Ange is 'shy' and lacking in 'boldness'?

* * *

Cassie bought bridesmaid dresses already - and they're great! She can tick that one off the to-do list. I'm sure there'll be photos to come on her blog (though she promised not to put the ass shot up on there). I don't have ideal underwear on in the shot and will go on my 5kg bridesmaid diet before the wedding. Down from $190 each to $49 on sale. Can't pass up a deal like that!

I should have no problem pulling in it, if she has a good pool of single men there (that's my job as bridesmaid, is it not?).

* * *

Bed time. Night night.

B*TCH

Let me lay the foundations for my story.....

So I am bung. See my bung ankle in above photo (placed artfully by my iron mark). The bit where it balloons out usually goes inwards.

My eye is bung too. I went into work this morning and got sent home in case it's conjuntivitis or contagious. It's been like it for a couple of days (bit swollen, weepy, bloodshot). I had to teach one lesson before the reliever came, so I fashioned myself an eyepatch, but that's another story.

So here I am, this pathetic weepy eyed, limping shell of a person...... But I get to go home and have a day off work. Sweet! I offered to drop my flatmate in town for work then made my way to Kilbirnie Woolworths to get myself a treat for lunch......

As I drive into the carpark I notice it's quite full, so I'm driving along perusing for empty parks when suddenly I hear a loud scraping crashing noise to the left...... Somebody had backed out of their space right into the passenger side of my car.

I slow down and look back, and there are cars all around, so I decide to drive on a bit, park and come back.

Meanwhile the driver of the car gets out and comes down to where I parked. I get out and say, 'What happened there?' ... and then say, 'I've never had to do this before (mistake number 1?)...... She is very proactive. She starts asking for pen and paper and writes down her licence and insurance company for me (mistake number 2?). She takes the same details off me. She points out...

1) That she looked both ways before pulling out.

2) I must have been going fast for her to have not seen me..... 'You should drive slowly in a parking lot', she advises.....

3) That I should have seen her lights.

4) That her car isn't damaged - good thing about having a towbar. Looks like I'll have to get some panel beating though.

After all this I'm almost feeling guilty.... while I'm sure it's technically her fault, she's made me think that I must've been driving terribly! I thank her for the details and let her on her way.

Those of you who are more savy than me will see alarm bells right now.... I must admit I was naive and stupid.... she was a Pakeha middle aged woman. She seemed like somebody's mum.... she was giving ME sincere advice on how to drive more safely.... She'd been so proactive about coming over and getting my details and writing them down......

BUT....

I ring my insurance company and tell them the story, giving them her details. And it turns out.....

They're phoney! They're for a car that looks nothing like hers, registered to a man in Auckland who's not even with this company. Firstly that makes me angry because I have to pay lots more money on my excess ($700 since I'm only on my restricted). Secondly it pisses me off that people can be that mean and deceitful. Puts another chink in your faith in humanity! She seemed like a normal honest sort.........

Grrrr. I will not be so naive next time.

Things Fall Apart.

My body is going downhill! This year I've had hardly any periods of full fitness.

I had the bruised ribs, then the blisters, then the millions of itchy bites....

And today I have a sprained ankle and gummy conjunctivitis-ish eye. The worst thing is I literally fell over my own feet with nobody else around me, running back on defence. How hard is it to slow down and turn around without falling over!?!?! Harder than I thought, apparently. I have a nice wee bit of swelling after having continued playing the game (it would be too embarrassing to ask for a sub after falling over your own feet....... I had to act like nothing was wrong when I heaved myself back up to my feet.....).

I have to limp around with one eye closed. I look like a freak............ All I need is a humpback now.

Must be because I'm nearly 30.

Sam and Fish - did you notice a quick decline when you were 29? Or did you feel just fine?

And drink lots of wine.....

I feel naked....

... without my cellphone. I left it at work accidentally.

What if tonight was the night where I was going to get some fabulous and spontaneous one-off offer.... and I missed it.......

It could happen.

I'm anxious about it.

* * *

In other news, I got some girls at school to clean my car for me. They love having 'jobs' to do. And one of them did the front wheel-thingies a treat! They used to be kinda brown and rusty looking, now they shine and gleam. Check them out next time you see me in my 'ride'.

* * *

Finally waxed my legs so I can wear skirts and shorts again.

* * *

Quizzing tomorrow with flatmates most likely. All comers welcome (Sam - you still on nights?). Clayton swears he does the 5-minute quiz every day so he is primed and ready to lead the squad.

* * *

My winning streak is over. Michelle's team ruined it. Back to square one.

* * *

I know people born with extra thumbs or toes. It must be more common than I thought. And they're otherwise normal.....

* * *

I used to find Michael Rappaport sexy. I don't like him in The War at Home. He has eliminated himself from my Exemption List (published months ago on my blog). He's obnoxious. I know it's just acting.... but it has to come from somewhere real, doesn't it?

* * *

Someone I do still find sexy is Craig McMillan. Good to see him doing well again! He's so lovably streaky.

* * *

Did anyone else see that classic episode of Paul McKenna where one guy was hypnotised to believe he was a guru. And his one piece of wisdom he shared with everyone was 'You know that blue thing in the toilet - it's not an icy-pop'....?

We have something blue in our toilet. Every time you flush it's bright, bright blue. How sanitary!

There was also the 'You stole me eyebrows!' episode. Classic. And the 'I'm a mushroom - you're a mushroom - we're all mushrooms' skit was a goodie.

Times when it is inappropriate to text back in rhyming couplets....

My word of the week

Chutzpah!

Top Five Raw Vegetables

1) Baby Carrots.
2) Peas straight from the pod.
3) Radishes.
4) Cherry tomatoes.
5) Cucumber.

Five Wellington Eatery Recommendations

1) The margarita flavoured pizza at The Realm. Mmmmm.
2) Thursday through Saturday at Kai in the City. Live music and singalongs!
3) The chocolate cupcakes at Maranui Surf Club.
4) The chili iced coffee at Simply Paris. Iced Coffee Ole!
5) The vegetarian kebabs at the kebab place next to JJ Murphy's.

Five Things I Like in Clothes
1) Hidden pockets.
2) Head holes big enough to not mess my hair up on the way in or out.
3) Length.
4) Thumb holes.
5) Flattering necklines.

Five Summer Hassles

1) Socks that are dripping with sweat after sports.
2) Flies.
3) Melted chocolate in your car.
4) Squinting.
5) Loud cicadas.

Five Movies I was Pleasantly Surprised by

1) In her Shoes
2) Vanilla Sky
3) Sorority Girls
4) Best in Show
5) Anatomie

Five Things that Are Orange

1) Fish.
2) Carrots.
3) Pigott hair.
4) High vis gear.
5) Basketballs.

Weekend Goings On

The Posse and invited friends had a lovely time at Kai last night. Note Ange's short hair! Sam has a habit of surrounding himself by bevies.... My smile is the hugestest!

* * *

Weddings Galore!

I went to my good friends Lu and Clint's engagement party in Levin on Friday night. Took 2.5 hours to drive there (usually 1.5) in the stinking hot sun. But I cranked up my sing-along-car-cds and had a jolly good time!

It was an excellent excuse to pull out my impulse-buy-cocktail-dress and the food was gorgeous (neenish tarts and crostini with salmon and cream cheese).

I should have taken Clint's advice and used some of their insect repellant though....... I have dozens of bites which seem to be just coming into full force today. Even two on my buttocks, somehow....

This foot alone has 14 bites on it. If you were out with me last night you may have seen my rubbing my foot on things ... it may have looked odd....

Kai, bro

We took a posse of seven people out to Kai in the City last night on Marjorie Banks St in Mt Vic. It was delightful! The food was high quality and yummy and the atmosphere was very kiwi. There was a fulla on a guitar singing covers of songs we knew the words to and we all got handed the words to Pokarekareana (sp?) and had a good old sing-along.

I had Maori bread with dips (yum!) and the fish with hangi-mash and honey and aioli sauce (yum!) and chocolate pudding with berry compote and gourmet icecream (yum!). The kumara pie with icecream looked good too.

Then we ventured into town and went to a few bars for sensible drinks (not like last time!). I made everyone look at Pete's pictures in Deluxe - they seemed vaguely suspicious that we were taking photos. Here's the Mt Vic Honk Honk picture.

This is my new flatmate, Reidun, with her friends Sasha and Pete.

We discovered The Cavern which is a basement bar across from Vespa..... It plays Beatles and Elvis songs! That's right up my alley. Then me and Reidun continued on to Electric Avenue which looked like it could be good fun. She proposed an 80s party at our house followed by dancing there. Could be a goer! I own an asymmetrical top...

As a side note.... Reidun and I got home after midnight some time and decided to go check on Pete, since we never heard back from him and he was supposed to be at dinner with us. Picture us climbing up the path at the back of our flats (Reidun in high heels, both of us having had a few drinks) and peering through his windows, using my phone as a torch..... Funny picture and much potential for disaster. He wasn't there. We briefly feared being those flatmates on the news who said 'Well, we realised we hadn't seen him for a week..... but we weren't really worried until his rent didn't go through'.

He texted today and is just out of town. Phew.

One Love - but we're not the same.

Me and Sam and Fish. Sunny day and blanket. Watching the girls in short shorts and bikinis. Getting sunburnt hands. Henna on a fishfoot.

Reggae is the devil's music! I don't care what it's infused with.

* * *

Where's Katie???

Hi kids, can you spot Katie in the above picture?

Hint: She's wearing red and white stripes and sunglasses.

* * *

School started back today. It was ok.

My class seem decent with perhaps a few possible characters waiting to surface. Me and Girl-Sam were the two teachers meeting all the new students and their parents at the front gates. Having authority is a strange thing. We were the 'face' of the school. I did not abuse this authority, though Sam said to a poor wee lass 'You need to run up the driveway'..... and the girl actually did run. Sam's a PE teacher and always tells people to run.

I memorised all my class's names last night. I showed off my geeky skills by adding things like 'your name is second to last on the roll' and whenever anyone said a first name, I'd add the surname without even looking at the roll. When I also said, 'Oh - you live in Samoa St, don't you?' the word 'stalker' started to be bandied about by the peer support students.... but in a good way, I like to think..... :)

It restores my faith in the youth of today that one of them, in my 'getting to know you game' listed gospel as her favourite genre of singing. Bless! I thought they all liked the hippityhop and emo stuff.

It was blimin' hot. I see one advantage of working in a corporate job now - air conditioning, baby.

The Tides of Change

Bye Bye England

Englishmen 1, 2 and 3 left today. The car started (which is always touch and go) and was packed to capacity with gear. They are headed up the East Coast, with any luck, bound for Napier and Tauranga. I recommended Splash Planet for a good time.

They were top fellows. It was a nice chapter in the flatmate chronicles.

They said goodbye to the cat and took photos to remember it by.

Hello Canada

My Canadian flatmate is just putting up a display of his paintings at Deluxe Cafe tonight, running for the next two weeks. If you're there having a coffee, be sure to take note. I really like them - there's one painting of the inside of Fidel's which is just gorgeous and another one from inside the Mt Vic tunnel that is a yellowy-masterpiece.

Drinking

In true Simon-fashion let me state that I am never drinking again. I am struggling to remember why I seem to think getting drunk is fun......... right now it's just pain and a queezy tummy.

* * *

I have noted Morgue's meticulous love-making and Sam's hankering for skinny-dipping. There seems to be something in the air in blogland......

* * *

Internet Dating

Internet dating is proving fruitless. The two possibilities I had left simultaneously disappointed me. It seems that the guy who stood me up because he had alcohol poisoning was an indicator of the quality of men out there.......

The first possibility has overhauled his profile from a normal one to a 'looking for sexual encounters' one - I noticed this just after I had sent a message about cricket and clothes shopping. It's bizarre that he replied in much the same tone, just general chat - and yet his profile now has a photo of his naked torso. I can't reconcile that.

The second guy said to me, 'So when are we meeting up babe?'. Am I being overly fussy by vetoeing him purely on the basis of twice having tagged 'babe' onto the end of a comment and using terms like 'lol' too often???

Quickly Does It

Favourite Cafe at the moment - Eva Dixon's in Miramar (lovely service, lots of seating options, never too crowded, delicious and ever-changing variety of sweet things in the cabinet). Hard to find, but worth the journey. May I recommend the pumpkin, cream cheese and chocolate muffins.

Favourite Bargain - $12 book shelf from The Warehouse (available in red, white, green and fake-wood). Just the right height to go under a window and cheap enough that you can get a few and put them together to make one big bookcase with lots of compartments with many arrangement options. I would recommend them if you need any storage solutions for your flat/house or have a gap you want to make more homely. I got bright red ones.

Favourite EnglishGuy2 anecdote - after his drunken mishaps on Saturday, he was still keen enough to drink last night and somehow managed to fall into the bath (not even climbing through the window) and give himself a black eye. He said he seriously considered sleeping there all night instead of bothering trying to get himself back out. He cracks me up! He has a wonderfully dry and self-depricating humour. I will miss him!

Favourite Excuse for Standing me up on Friday Night - 'I was in hospital with alcohol poisoning' (that put me off in so many ways - I will stick with my original 'to the left' verdict and move on)

Favourite Drink - I got a coffee from Lido and it was delicious. I don't usually notice how good coffee is. I tried to order a 'cafe bon bon' which is espresson with condensed milk, but I'm fairly sure they just gave me a latte. Either way, it was yum. I can see why people become coffee afficianados now.



PS - my severely deeply internally bruise ribs still hurt. I had to try to avoid puffing at netball tonight 'cause it flared up again. I woulda thought that would be easy for me, given how lazy I can be, but I actually had to make quite a concerted effort! It hurt to make sudden movements and reach out too far with my left arm so I had to grimace every time someone passed me the ball and expected me to move.

I thought it was heaps better, but I think I may have just altered my breathing style sub-consciously to shallow breathing (which isn't good for you and you can get lung infections from it, woopsie).

I still suspect a mis-diagnosis. They're broken, damnit! I want a second opinion. I would go to that doctor on the Simpon's (the crack-pot one) - he'd say it was so bad they had to operate immediately. He would validate my pain!!!

Something to consider....

Instead of just taking meat to a BBQ (and let's face it - there's always too much meat somehow) take a tin of baby beetroot. I love beetroot. And baby ones are adorable. Drain the tin and put them in a cute bowl - and voila, a healthy side option to go with the plate of meat. Don't know why I hadn't thought of it before.

Sweating like a pig....

It was a very hot and muggy night last night. It was even hotter in the middle of the dance floor at Kitty O'shea's. But every song the band played was better than the last, so there was no chance for a break. Best song: Blister in the Sun. Good times! Me and Cassie reminisced about hilarious things. I almost got her doing the 'woo woo' belly laugh.

Angst....

Me and Ange had the traditional 'debriefing brunch' today at the Maranui Surfclub Cafe and filled each other in on the night's gossip. We are both feeling boy-angst about certain unpredictable possibilities we have. Very different kinds of angst - but very relatable. Takes your mind off other things anyhow. I am sleeping better than I have been for a while.

Where's Katie?...

I am loving my Where's Wally? top. Makes me very easy to spot in a crowd.

Shoes...

I have another pair of new shoes. These ones are great. They are possibly even a tiny bit too big, which is a rarity. I had to put inner-soles in to make them snugger. The issue with these ones is they gave me about five blisters per foot. Gotta push past that pain barrier though..... They go 'click-clack' when I walk.

SUDOKU

I am becoming a Sudoku machine. I have starting working through my giant book of them bought cheaply in a Boxing Day sale.

I have several effective tactics.

I timed myself to make it more fun (there are recommended times).

I think someone should start a competitive Sudoku league. Hand everyone the same puzzles, make it a race..... FUN!

My dad likes them too. We have similar minds. I annoy him by standing over his shoulder and giving him advice. He goes to the extreme of actually setting them up as spreadsheets on Exel. He uses Exel a lot in his job. He is my ubergeekdad!

* * *

On a less intellectual level, I bought a pretty dress that I had no reason to buy. I enjoy watching it hanging in my room - even if it is of no practical use.

Dresses are my weakness. They are something I buy on impulse even if I know deep down I'll end up wearing them three times (that's $30-$50 a wear - not efficient shopping!).

What are other people's shopping weaknesses??? What do you buy on a whim that you don't need?

Note: Yes, that is a slightly posey photo. I'm using the well-developed technique of setting the digital camera on timer to see what an outfit really looks like. It's much less biased than the mirror. I also took the unforgiving 'front-on' shot. Never good. Taking small videos is even better. I'm not the only person who does this - Ange takes ass-shots on her phone to see what her pants look like :)

My Saturday Night

I was explaining to someone what my plans were for last night.... and I had to warn them that I was having a geek night.

1) We played RISK
2) It was special edition Star Wars (TM) RISK
3) It was in the Hutt
4) I was drinking ginger beer and lemonade

But I don't care - it was ubergeekfun!

Game One

I was positioned very well in this game. I secured my continent early on and won lots of troops. Me and Sam seemed to form an unofficial peace-zone on our part of the board, so I was free to expand and build up forces. I was the early favourite to win.

I patiently waited until my force was mammoth enough to try to achieve my goal (not wanting to attempt it too early and give it away).... so I went for it in one turn. And I came THIS close. I only had three of Richard's soldiers to defeat and I would have won the game..... But the pesky little beggers just wouldn't die. And I ran out of enforcements.

I left it until next turn.... But then Sam's Black Plague swept across the board and took advantage of my thinned out army to win the game.

Richard was again, a b******.

Game Two

I was exhausted from my mammoth and heart-breaking effort in Game One, so didn't really put my heart into this one. Plus my troops were placed stupidly. Sam decimated one half of my army on about the second turn and then Richard swooped at me from both sides (it was his mission to kill me).

I had more fun playing with my spare army-men and making little prisons with them for the pieces I managed to eject from the board. They were my POWs.

So again, that b******* Richard thwarted my efforts. One day I will get him. He will rue the day he stopped me from winning. I will read up on my army tactics and next time I'll be more prepared. I'll have my troops in tip-top shape. I'm gonna practise my dice-rolling maneuvers for hours a day. And I'm going to audition my plastic-men to see who's most likely to have me roll sixes for them, and they will be part of my Special Lucky Forces, and they will have the honour of being on the Front Line when I attack Richard bin Laden. I will condition them to hate him via Clockwork Orange tactics (taping their eyelids open and doing mean stuff involving pictures of Richard).

Richard, you have been warned.

I am Martha Stewart

I sewed. All by myself. Apart from Lynne telling me how to sew and Fish showing me how to use the machine (except how to put the foot down).

I sewed in straightish lines and made cushions. I like them.

I noticed one of my flatmates made a stack of three of them to lean up against while watching TV. They are useful.

Hmm.... what shall my next craft project be............ I might just keep making cushions. That's what I did at sewing classes at Intermediate. I made lots of tiny (useless) cushions. My brother enjoyed throwing them up and trying to get them to go between the rafter and the ceiling in our lounge.

Mr Green Toyota Corolla - you suck!

I have never tooted my horn at anyone (except one time someone cut in front of me at the supermarket and Cassie was in the passenger seat and reached across and did it for me.... I was mortified and said, 'Cass - I don't toot!'). But I understood the mentally of getting road rage after a tiny incident on my beloved State Highway 1.

* * *
I had purposely waited until Monday afternoon to drive home, thinking the weekend traffic might have thinned out with people returning to the first day back at work. It hadn't really.

The whole way my little Silver Mazda Familia was part of a long snake of traffic, moving at a frustrating 90ks with no real sign of break-away chances in sight. I didn't bother trying to overtake anyone until I got past Paraparaumu. There was a camper-van in front of me most of the early part of the journey, but to its credit it wasn't holding anything up.

This is when I got angry whilst driving home from LVN. I had just been through both sets of lights in Waikanae and was at the point where the two lanes merge back into one. I was letting a second camper-van from the other lane go in front of me (as you do - one from each lane, having turns), and was leaving a little room for it, but obviously not enough for two cars to jump in front of me.... (on a day of slow traffic why would I want to do that?).

I was already resenting all the traffic that had gone in the right-hand-lane - it looked like all the impatient drivers and they were just trying to sneak a few places in front of me.

When the car behind the camper-van accelerated and decided to push in.... at which point I accelerated too, thinking 'Oh no you don't, cheeky bugger!'... at which point he accelerated more. I had to let him go in front or crash into him.

I said many expletives very loudly and gave the back of his car the evils for a long time. It went something like this, 'Merge like a zip, you stupid f*****!' Even one of my struggling sixth form students in English had understood the concept (and had the nouse to point out it is a simile).

I caught up with him at the Paraparaumu lights (fat lot of good his pushy driving had done for him!). I peered across to see who this inconsiderate b******* was. It was a normal looking man in his 40s, with what looked like two young daughters in the car.

It irks me that a normal looking person made me angry while driving. He ruined the mood of my Paul Simon Anthology CD. I see driving on the highway in times of thick traffic as a kind of team sport - like that road racing they do on bicycles. If you are the lead car you should do your job of keeping a good pace, and then drop off if someone else could do it better or you're holding up the team..... I like the comradery of it. We should all be resigned to being in it together. It's not any one car's fault that we're not doing 100ks. So passing any one car isn't going to achieve much. It strikes me as arrogance. It turns the group activity into a competitive one where every car is out for themself.

Mr Green Car ruined my team spirit.