My Viewing Pleasure

1. District 9

I liked it. It was probably a fair guess at how we would really react in such a situation. We like guns.

I especially liked the sarcastic bit at the beginning saying '... and they didn't choose to stop over Chicago or Washington.... but over Johannesburg...' That's a first! Aliens almost always land over America. It reminds them of home.

2. The Mighty Boosh

I had heard rave reviews about this, without having any clue what it actually was. Seemed like a cult classic that I had to pick up when I saw it for $36 for the entire season.

I am undecided. Six episodes in. I don't dislike it.....

Another Era

Kyle is moving out.

He's finally nabbed a lawyering job, but the catch is that it's in New Plymoth.

I will miss his icecreams. He often comes home with four delicious Memphis Melt-downs and Magnums. He lets us girls pick our favourites, then he has whatever's left.

He has thwarted many a diet with his late night spontaneous ice-cream gifts.

Pet Peeve #4

.... when people ask you question like, 'Hey, what are you doing on Saturday morning?' and you think they're going to suggest doing something fun, so you say, 'Nothing at the moment....'

Then they ask you for a favour, which is something you probably don't actually want to do, let alone on Saturday morning.

It's a very passive-aggressive (or maybe aggressive-aggressive) way to ask for a favour.

And it's an anti-climax.

It's happened to me twice in the last week and it annoyed me both times. If you want something, why not ask straight up? I don't like being tricked!

I must remember to, in the future, answer such leading questions with 'Why?' rather than 'Nothing...'. Caginess has its place.

Poorly Me

I hate it when your stash of tissue runs out. I'd taken several to class today, but my constantly dripping nose had quickly used them up. There were only remnants of tissues, all shredded and damp.

I realised, when a child had put her hand up for help and I had wearily motioned her over, that I should perhaps put the scrappy pile of tissues in my pocket (rather than on the desk where she'd just put her work down for me to look at).

The word 'clammy' is sometimes perfect.

* * *

Watch Out

Why do we still wear watches? When you think about it they're kinda archaic - not a lot has changed about them over time. They're clunky and generally not a fashion statement. I know at work I have a clock in most rooms I go into, or I can have a computer on. Yet I feel naked without my watch.

And in public, you can have your cell-phone handy to check, but I still often like to have my watch on.

Not in the holidays though. Holidays is watch-free time. It's a symbolic change in my state of mind. No more clock-watching. A few minutes will not make the difference between kids packing up tidily and the bell going and them running off without putting things away.

I wonder how many times a day I glance at my watch.

* * *

Frustrating Blogger Account

Are any other blogger users having trouble copy and pasting into the editing page? The only way I have figured out to do it is go into the edit html bit, then paste, then go back into compose. It's a new phenomenon.

* * *

Teachin' 'em to be Rednecks

I am a wrestling expert. I have given two power points to my class on the history of WWE. They may now think I'm a freak, but I think I'm intellectualising it enough that I won't get phone calls of complaints from parents. I've brought in good trivia stuff like the Chris Benoit murders and Owen Hart's death, as well as showing them Hulk Hogan in his vitamin days versus him in his NWO days.

Today we looked at entrances, leading onto the gimme exam-answer of saying how music ties into the target audience. I started with getting them to think about gladiators (showed them the trailer for Gladiator) and how it was battle for entertainment then, and it was socially acceptable, yet real. Back then we had slaves we could kill off, but nowadays that is frowned up, so we have to just have actors do it.

Then we moved on to how we have brought elements of theatrics into sports, starting with the haka, moving onto the Chicago Bulls' elaborate intros of the '90s (yay for being able to bring another of my favourite childhood things into a lesson) and boxing and high school football matches.

We then watched a really great Undertaker entrance from some Wrestlemania.

Trying to show that in a way, in order to hook into that 12-34yr old male audience, both sports and wrestling have cross-overs. Some of the conventions are the same. It is important to see where those similarities start and finish, and why.

The Gall and the Gumption

The 'Interupting Kanye' meme amuses me. As it does many other people.

What is it about it that has engaged with so many people and united us in shared outrage and agastness?

1. It's Black. It's White.

A lot of people are secretly always looking for reasons to moan about the bad manners of rap and hip hoppers. Rascals. This interaction created a great clashing of the stereotpyes - angry, drunk black man vs pure young country-singing white girl. You can't get a better victim. She's like the virgin in a horror movie.


2. Awkward Silence.

If Taylor Swift had laughed or made some witty remark once she got the mic back, it would've gone down as a weird and wacky moment, but the look of shock on her face once her moment of glory had been stolen and her feeling of recognition ripped away.... that made it unfunny.


It's like the kid who's got an icecream cone .... only a big bully had come and knocked it right off the cone, picked it up and spat on it, then plopped it back and said, 'Here you go - enjoy!'


It's just mean. Bully.


Brain Can't Think Ahead. Shiny Things.


Anyhow, it was quite wrong. You can see that his head just said, 'Oh - Beyonce didn't win. She might be feeling bad - I expected her to win. I'mma go say that I thought her video was the best, so she doesn't feel bad' or something along those lines.


He wasn't thinking, 'I'mma go make that Taylor girl feel like crap and tell her she didn't deserve her award in front of millions of viewers'. The thought process didn't get that far. The alcohol (and whatever else) intervened.


But in no universe was that an even remotely ok thing to do.


Oh Yeah, I know who Taylor Swift Is


One good thing that comes out of it is that Taylor Swift is more of a house-hold name than she used to be. I am hip and with-it and knew who she was beforehand (I accidentally came across an E Channel special on her once), but now a lot of other people who usually avoid soft-pop-country songs with videos of princesses and castles know who she is.


Victory!


Too Good to be True - Ratings Gold!


I like that there are conspiracy theories going around about it being some kind of set-up to get media attention. This is feasible on some levels - award show ratings have been flagging in recent years and it's hard to change the formula and spice things up, when they're so prone to cliche and predictable gratuities. I doubt Taylor was in on it. She did a pretty good breathless and excited act before he came up.

John Key - not popular with Teenage Girls

My Media class was doing work on demographics today, so I had a bunch of general categories and they had to wander around the class getting quantitative data from each other.

Nobody opted to do 'Political Views', so I grabbed that one.

I asked:
1. What party would you vote for if there was an election now?
2. Do you know who the MP for the region you live in is?
3. Do you prefer Barrack Obama, John Key or neither?

The results surprised me. In a class of about 24 only one kid said she would vote for National (and her reasoning was, '... because I like blue.') and a few went for Green, one for the Pacific Island party (if there is one), a few had no opinion and the rest were for Labour, rather resoundingly.

Gives me hope for our country's future! The youth are smart.

Quite a few didn't know for sure who their MP was - they often knew the first name or thought it was Kerry Prendegast ('cause my dad's always talking about her').

And all but one preferred Barrack (that one lone girl thinks John's cute). That was not at all surprising.

I guess I teach in a district that is a Labour strong-hold of late (Rongotai/Central Wellington) and Media Studies kids tend to be a bit radical - the Young Nats are probably doing Accounting and Economics (proper subjects).

Anyhow..... it made me proud. Good kids! (Not that I told them that - my survey was totally unbiased and for audience profiling only.)

Is it wrong...

1. Ready and Willing

Today I turned up to class and there were 8 kids there, out of 24.

And then I noticed that one of those kids wasn't even in the class. That was a humorous moment.

I stared at her for a minute and then said, 'Why...?' though given my low numbers, I didn't want to turn anyone away at this point.

She replied, 'I'm Mary*,' and proceeded to do an impersonation of her friend (who was away and whose regular seat she was sitting in - the girl is known for flapping her hands when she talks).

Deadpan, I replied, 'Oh, I didn't recognise you for a second there,' and continued with the lesson.

Eventually the others realised we weren't in the computer room and turned up to the right class. We did some brainstorming on some topics they'd been working on for about a month (luckily the girl knew what topic Mary was doing and was able to get right on task with some good points).

Once she'd written about a page I was able to say, 'Wow - that's more work than Mary's actually done all term!' and her friends agreed.

Eventually we got onto some work that she wasn't able to do, at which point I suggested she leave, but to make sure she showed Mary her very useful brainstorm ideas.

She left happily.

2. And nobody likes plain crackers for lunch

I had a 500g massive container of cottage cheese in the fridge at work. It was not due to expire until September 23rd (the day of the wrestling trip and my brother's birthday).

I went to use it today and it had gone off with a rather rancid smell. I suspect sabotage.

I must consider who my enemies at work are....

3. Form Time

Form time today went something like this

Me: Nice shoes today. Where's the tie?

Me: Pink forms are due today - who's lost theirs and needs a new one?

Me: No eating. Cell phones away. Stop dancing.




*name changed for ethical reasons

On a Good Day

1. Pretty Stuff

The above photos are from 'He's Just Not that Into You'. It's up there with 'Love Actually' as a romance that I can watch more than once, possibly because it's got a fragmented narrative as well, but also because the characters have nice depth and the director leaves the viewer to fill in some gaps (I watched some commentary which made nice sense). This one's probably not quite as good, and maybe boys wouldn't like it as much either, but I'm looking forward to seeing the projects the screenwriters are working on at the moment.

For me the best moments probably involve Ben Afleck (when he's washing the dishes at the sink, it actually made me catch my breath, even the second time).
I liked the film, but really got it out on DVD just to look at the clothes and set dressing again. The interiors are yummy. I have mashed together some of the details I liked (Scarlett Johansen wore some gorgeous dresses as only she can, Jennifer Connelly had a great corporate wardrobe, the main chick had some great soft looks with puff sleeves and Jennifer Aniston's apartment was gorgeous and chic and arty).
2. Welly Welly Good

I think part of the survival skills for living in Wellington is having a short memory. A few days of spring weather and I'm already forgetting the miserably cold nights in uninsulated flats. I blame the 'You Can't Beat Wellington on a Good Day' campaign. Brain-washed.

Weirdly successful campaign, when you consider it was just a euphemistic look at how crap Wellington weather is most of the time. For a large percent of the year, the best word to describe our outlook is 'grey'. But geez, it really does make you appreciate those rare good days.

.... and Wellington is lovely today!

Today I put on shorts and jandals for the first time this season (leg-waxing was required) and last weekend we had a BBQ. Eating fish and salad for dinner has also put me in the spring mood, as has having daffodils in a vase.

I went with Cass for a walk along the Petone foreshore today. Glistening harbour view, dogs chasing sticks and shaking the sea-water out of their coats, gentle waves lapping up to a frightened puppy being coaxed into the water. The whole time Honey was panting and sending us obvious messages that said 'IwannaplayIwannaplaythrowmeastickIwannaplay'. It was all very still, other than the jetboat and dog-walkers, and unrushed.

I feel like wearing something bright green. Maybe with my new bird earrings. And walking through some tulips. And drinking a mojito in a garden bar.

I gave my banner a spring-make0ver. I was a bit sick of it looking like I was proud of having Dan Brown on my bookshelf (I'm really not).

3. Nana Night Media Reviews

It's funny watching an American cooking show that calls scones 'biscuits'. Buddy, you may be a fancy chef and you may cut them out with a fancy cookie-cutter, but at the end of the day they're just cheese scones.

If you ever watch the film 'Dot the I', do hang on until the ending. The first 3/4 is pretty average, but it all comes together nicely. Me and Carly both had moments that we'd independently thought were odd or badly done earlier on, and it turns out they were 'clues'.

I watched 'The Kiterunner' again last night. That Hassan kid melts your heart.

I Heart Basketball

I knew from the moment a kid at school (the star player on our basketball team) said, 'Hey Miss - that team you're playing tonight is the Wellington Under 17 rep team - I'm in it!' that tonight's game would be a whupping.

But it was still fun. Basketball rules. Netball is for weeners.

I have a weird feeling that I didn't miss any shots tonight - got four from four in. That's a tidy contribution (considering we got 24 points in total). And they were all good shots - two rolling to the basket on a cut, one off a lob when my defender was fronting me, and one that was a couple of dribbles penetration pull-up jumper (ok - that was one a fluke, banked in pretty hard).

Rant 104

Our netball grade is not quite the top one, which seems to mean that we have athletic players, but not necessarily ones who are used to playing netball. We have big, solid rugby league guys playing against us. They're quick and jumpy, but don't know how to go for a ball without nearly maiming people.

I know it's not particularly intentional, but at the end of our last few games all I can remember is a montage of me cowering against the net or sprawling/stumbling/bracing-myself as some big Poly guy shoulder-barges me from the side as I innocently try to catch a pass. I think they often match the female D with Brad back in the circle, and send the sprint-star rugby player guy out to mark me. Neat. I think Michelle handles it just fine, because she's zippy and cunning enough to get around him, but I'm too accepting of my glacial qualities to even try that.

So I just play for angles/space, which means they're always nearby and can't resist trying for an intercept, which (given I call purposely for the ball in a direction I can protect/hold) means a lot of times they come across my body and hit me from the side as I catch it. They're not often going to be able to get the ball cleanly from the angle they're coming from - but they keep on trying. And they're rugby players, so their version of 'trying' is a lot less controlled than an experienced netball player usually is. It's more a free-for-all tunnel-vision attack on the ball.

After getting hit a few times in tonight's game I said to the ref, 'Just watch they don't injure someone.' She said, 'I'm calling the contacts.' I said, 'I know - but it's getting pretty rough - I don't want to end up with a sprained ankle or anything from it.'

She started justifying herself, which I didn't intend - just wanted to signal that I was feeling a bit vulnerable from the heavy contacts. All power to anyone who can intercept the ball off me and in a way I don't mind that they go hard even against a girl, but this guy wasn't usually getting the ball - he was just getting me. And his buddy at centre had hip-checked me pretty solidly last time I'd tried to cut into the shooting circle. Bit of a human pin-ball machine.

It's just one of those things with non-netball players that refs should tell them off for more, so that they learn. They need to start using their judgement to decide when they're not going to be able to get the ball without hitting people, and pull out before that happens. It's the spirit of the game.

Social netball is not worth screwing up your back/ankles for. I have pretty decent control generally and don't get injured. I can take a hit and fall in a controlled way, but when I have 100kg blocks of muscle pounding into me most times I catch the ball in open play I do feel a little vulnerable. If there's a 50-50 ball and I see these guys barrelling in from across the court, to be honest, I'm just going to let them get it. It's not worth the risk.

And the guy got righteous at me. He said, 'Oh - come on. You know I'm faster than you - I got that ball.'

The fact he thought he needed to point out he was faster than me was almost flattering - he said it in a way that he expected me to put up a fight about it. Erm. He had just sent me sprawling, when I had my hands on the ball. His point was odd. Sure, I'd slightly Hollywooded my fall....

Then the ref tried to make out we were contacting each other evenly - 'Both teams are aggressive and physical - you were both contesting equally.' Huh? I wasn't contesting - I was merely putting out my hand to catch a ball. I wasn't silly enough to initiate any kind of contact with a guy who could accidentally knock me out with his elbow and not even notice.

And then in the second half a different guy crunched into me while going for a ball that I'd already caught and had me pinned on the ground underneath him, against the net. That one scraped both my knees and hurt my back. The ref even asked afterward if I was alright.

I was able to haughtily reply, 'That's what I was talking about!' as I got up grimacing (half-wishing I'd actually sprained my ankle and had to be carried off court just to prove my point). I'm not sure if my moment of righteousness was worth it though .... I'll see how the old back feels in the morning.

It's a bit grim to prophecise your own injuries.

* * *

I am looking forward to playing a bit of gentle basketball tomorrow.

Basketball generally is a safer kind of rough - your defender is right behind you, so while they may have a forearm in your back, they haven't got a full head of steam and it's generally not aerial contact until you're shooting it, at which point you're usually both going straight up, rather than being hit from the side.

The refs in basketball are generally pretty strong and wouldn't allow it to get dangerous, anyhow.

And except for some tank-like women from the Trentham Armybase team, there aren't a lot of women I'd be afraid to take on for a ball.

* * *

Post Script

I'm quite possibly grossly exaggerating - if I watched play-back of our game I'd probably cringe and say, 'Stop being a cry-baby, you lazy wussie! Harden up!'.

Just venting a little.

Teaching Rocks

Teaching Media and English means that I can slowly brainwash children and teach them stuff I like. I have, over the years, slowly introduced lots of my favourite things into my courses.

1. The Catcher in the Rye - this was fairly easy as it's one of our Year 12 texts, but also one of my favourites.

2. Education For Leisure (a dark poem by Carol Ann Duffy) - I started a trend there and many other teachers have since taught this little gem at my school. I forced it in there after accidentally coming across it while looking up ways to torture budgies. I used it in a Year 11 poetry unit on sociopathic narrators.

3. Amelie - I have used this for scene analysis in Media and as a film study in English. One of my favourite films which I waited a few years to legitimately squeeze in there - I saw in last year's moderator's report that it was working really well as a Year 12 film study and jumped in there.

4. Heart of the Game - A basketball doco that I showed my Media class as an alternative to the shallow representation of teenage girls we'd been studying. Love forcing kids to watch girls' basketball!

5. Pan's Labyrinth - I used this as my close reading text for Year 12 Media. Love forcing them to watch movies with subtitles! It's actually good for the ESOL kids in that they often can pick out words visually better than they can understand them when spoken with a strong accent.

6. Emoticon Poem - I have shown the Rives visual poem to my Year 12 class when we did love poetry as a unit - they loved it too. Nice example of a really modern take on a genre.

7. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas - We just bought copies of this as an extension book to go with a text we teach at Year 9. I am pushing it onto my kids - such a sweet, accessible book.

8. No Country for Old Men - I got to show this to my Media class as an example of a recent film with noir tones to it.

9. The Music Videos of Michel Gondry - Examples of a director's sense of personal style for a unit with my 13 Media class.

10. Wrestling - And now, I get an excuse to take my Media class to the filming of a wrestling show for TV. I have long had a fascination with live wrestling - the kids just like having an afternoon off and wearing mufti (and I have told a couple of them that this is the one time where they can use their obnoxiousness in an appropriate way).

Larry Baldock is not giving up.

He seems a little (lot) crazy, but he's like a real life Wile E Coyote, clawing his way up the cliff, having just held the ACME dynamite stick as the Roadrunner scooted off down the road.
But damnit, he's back with a new hair-brained scheme. And this time he's pretty confident he's worked out that pesky bird..... this time.... There may just be an anvil involved.

* * *
This is my one purchase from the big Wellington Book Fair. It is a book I already have a copy of (the revised edition). I got the original edition at the fair, with the more psychadelic cover (below).

This is a book my mother had. My copy has her signature in the front cover. It was, I assume, one of her teaching resources. I'm not sure, but someone I got hold of it in my formative years and it became my favourite.
It has lots of lovely poems. There are nonsensical and humorous ones - they were the ones that I liked as a teen. There are more philosophical or reflective ones - they are the ones I like now.

Anyhow, it has long been my very-special-book and I quite like that I now have two copies of it. It is the book I picture when I say 'I love poetry' more than any other, for as much emotional as practical reasons. It has yellowed pages that have been traced by my fingers and gorgeous words that I have wrapped around my tongue a savoured (you talk on tiptoe) (it is the scar on a beautiful young man's face).

I was lucky to have a mother who gave me poetry books written for children every birthday, with beautiful illustrations. As a teenager I had to raid her Roger McGough anthologies and it wasn't until a few years ago that I accidentally fell across Carol Ann Duffy and Simon Armitage.

Along the way I waded through the classics at university, none of which I'd pull out and read for pleasure (though I often think of the messages of some of Gerald Manly Hopkins's works). I have taken some pleasure in the visual elegance of ee cummings and the crispness of William Carlos Williams, and in the almost pop-music catchiness of Robert Frost.

But this book is the one that is familiar and fond - every page.

Cheating

Simple, free, a little addictive

Book Fair in Parts

1. The one time I think I'm the first one there (and on time) it turns out I was late. Janet runs a tight ship!

2. I got one book. I got Richard to be my book trafficker (little does he know that it had illegal substances taped inside it and he was duped into taking it through the check-out for me). I considered asking Mash, but he seemed too straight up to traffick for me.

3. I halved a pizza with Kirsten - the kind of pizza you can fold in half, New York styles.

4. I bought shoes a half size too small for me. But only $60 (down from $210). They might stretch. They are cream pumps with an almond toe and brown heel.

5. At Unity I found 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo', which has been recommended. We shall see - I turn my nose up at crime fiction generally.

Bitter Blue and Taking it to the Top

Friday night was my dad's big retirement do. It was held in council chambers and it was packed - 130 people, some of them standing. That was nice. And three present and past mayors were in attendance.
Dad was in charge of the district council's finances, essentially, for 30 years. He did the annual report and decided on what the rates would be (certainly not a job that lends itself to popularity - you can't please everyone). He was pretty much second in charge, after the CEO, for a lot of the time he was there.
Highlights included

• A waiata where they'd rewritten the Bob Dylan classic into 'Hey Mr Treasurer Man'. Dad is a massive Bob fan, so good choice.
• A scripted court case, with bailif, judge, prosector, defence lawyer, affidavits and a jury. Pretty funny - four charges were raised (inciting the strike of 1989, bowing and curtseying to the prince when he visisted, rarking up the nutter who writes letters to the paper every week criticising the council and.... something else). Nice play on our surname.
• Presents - a beautiful tokotoko carved especially (Dad uses a walking stick quite often anyhow, since his feet are both numb) - it has a man and woman (him and his wife) and two families intertwined underneath them (two lines that curve around the bottom of the stick). It feels just right when you hold it. A good nod to the fact that he's fairly well respected and known as being a bit of an orator (loves his speeches).

But the best of all....

• Uncle Peter and Aunty Ann had driven up from Wellington to be there. Now, this is a hullaballoo for the Wellington Judges. They only make the trip once or twice a year, and they always complain about the traffic. They all arrived a little late and immediately started moaning about Otaki and Paekakariki.... and said it took 'one and a half hours'! Erm...... it always takes me about that long.... an hour 20 if it's Sunday morning.... And they left at 5pm on a Friday night - they did bloody well to get there in under two hours!
• Anyhow, I digress. He told me about how Aunty Ann had stopped in Levin on the way through, a month ago. She'd taken Nana to Mr Bun's for lunch. She'd gone to put some money in the meter (40c an hour) and it had said ERROR. So she'd put some money in another meter. Now, turns out that in Levin each meter is for a particular bay of parks, and you have to pay for your number.... so paying on the wrong meter didn't work. She got sent a ticket.
• They were obviously indignant and outraged. Uncle Peter is quite hard-case, so once we were having drinks and nibbles, after all the speeches, he'd figured out which guy the mayor was. He went right up to him and started telling him the story of the parking fine. The mayor kinda played along (gets this kinda thing all the time, no doubt). He thought my uncle was kidding.
• But then he pulled the actual letter they got in the post out of his pocket - they had come prepared! He saw the CEO of the council walking by too, and pulled him into the conversation. It went on for quite some time - it turned into this good spirited debate.
• Meanwhile, the rest of the family were standing nearby, whispering to each other, 'Is he really showing the mayor his ticket? In the middle of nibbles? Nooooo!' But laughing. It was hilarious. His wife was mortified.
• Take it right to the top! It was his last chance to get this ticket sorted swiftly, while Dad was still on the pay-roll.

* * *
We had a good netball game tonight.

• Good in that it was high quality play and you had to earn your points
• Good in that we played ok and were leading for bits of the game
• Good in that the other team generally played in good spirit and were physical, but not dangerous

We had a bad netball game tonight.

• Bad in that we'd asked not to have a certain ref (our first request this season), but he was the very ref we got.
• He lets games get ridiculously physical, which is never going to suit us and frankly isn't that much fun. And we knew that's the way this game would head, if we didn't have a competent ref.
• Bad in that we were there before he'd even started the clock and the other team didn't arrived until 6 minutes left... and yet he refused to give us five bonus points because we didn't have five players on the court in the first minute.
• We were standing beside the court chatting, and three of our players were on the courting shooting around ... thinking it was going to be a typical Sunday-default game.
• There were little kids playing around on our court, so it didn't exactly look urgent that we got on. Grr. Most refs would, if they were going to be so 'by the book' about it, call out to you 'Get two more players on the court if you want your bonus points'. Not a hard thing to do.
• And bad in that we lost by two, on a shot at the buzzer. And did a few bad things ourselves (amongst the good).

A bit rubbish though. I'm of the opinion that you can't really blame the ref for losing - it's a pretty extreme case where the ref has that much impact. A good team can usually just play to the ref, even if they're rubbish.

But it makes me feel a little bitter if they're rubbish in a way that suits the style of one of the teams, but not the other. Like tonight, he let the other team get away with a lot of contact on and off the ball, and man-for-man they were probably stronger than us (but using tactics like holding shirts and pushing you as you went for the ball).

Once it was obvious he wasn't calling them for it, you'd think twice about going for a 50/50 catch where you knew a six-foot-tall-rugby-player of a guy was also flying in for it.

And he was not calling replays very strictly, which seemed to favour them as they often fumbled then recovered (they did a lot of bullet passes that were tricky to catch), whereas we generally catch it or totally mess it up (slower, softer passes). So there were lots of times you just assumed he was about to call something against the other team, so you'd pause for a second.... but play would continue.

That's frustrating - they're running a business and we're paying money for a quality service. I wouldn't complain about the reffing in a school game, where's it's volunteers and nobody's making money out of it.

End of vent.

Jon Key is gonna be on Letterman.

Now all of America, who already watch Flight of the Conchords, are going to think we really are like that. John is a little similar to Murray. Maybe if any of the dozen or so spokesperson Rhys Darby has going at the moment dry up he could try going into the impersonating business. I'd like to see that.

We will come off like yokels. I guess we'll be down-to-earth yokels. Part of the charm.

Wednesday

I've always liked Wednesdays.

Even the word Wednesday is nice.

Good TV night. I have started checking a blog called The Dim-Post. The guy who writes it reminds me of Sheldon from 'The Big Bang Theory', if he cared about politics.

Netball was good tonight. An angst-free victory for Morgan and me playing the D.

My week continues on, with more crossing off of time in the exam-hall and quiet shuffling in my flat shoes. I walk like a ninja ghost.
There was also a lively mock-debate on the topic of whether Michael Jackson deserves our sympathy (after the negating team saying, 'But Miss, we don't want to be mean to him!').

And today

1. Invalid - getting the red pen out

I am that lady at the front of the class in Peanuts cartoons saying 'Wah wah wah wah wah...'.

It was not a good start when the first girl I walked up to before the exam said, 'Miss! I didn't know we had to write about THREE texts! I only studied for TWO!' I replied, 'Good luck then!'

Hit head against wall.

Then someone wrote in their first sentence that Film Noir were made in the 1930s. During revision time I had MADE them write down 1942-1958 (or if you can't remember that, say 'the 1940s and early 1950s'). I had repeated it many many times. I had made them chant it back to me.

Hit head again.

And that Harry Lime does not die at the end of Third Man. His best friend freakin' shoots him. It's a pretty massive part of the ending.

Repeat.

I am marking in reverse order, from the people who left the exam first to the ones who stayed the whole time. It should get better.

I have an eight page epic to look forward to - and it's the girl in the class who has the smallest, hardest to decipher handwriting of them all ('boy writing' if you will).

2. Inept

I, being a lady of leisure this week, went for coffee after lunch today.

I asked the waitor for a latte and piece of ginger loaf. He mumbled for a few seconds then said, 'That was a flat white, was it?'. No. Then he said, 'Oh yeah. And a piece of banana cake?' No. 'Do you want sugar with that?' No.

When he brought it over to my table, there was a packet of sugar on the side of my saucer.

3. Inconeivable - it's not actually Star Wars

District 9 sold out, half an hour before it was due to start. Who knew?

So we went to Sunshine Cleaning instead. I liked it. I may have been alone in that.

It had nice character development and a plucky lead. And a man with one arm. And they never explained how he lost it. There were lots of unexplained story details and sub-plots that were never resolved. I like that.

Life is full of unexplained one-armed men.

... and it had Big Words and no pictures!

I shall pause from demonising our fair country's 'leader'.

* * *

I finished reading my book ['book' being pronounced the way Strongbad would say it, to rhyme with 'nuke'].

I feel like I deserve a gold star or a certificate or something. I read it in one weekend! I really am a sporadic reader. Conditions need to be just right. If they are, I will read a book in a few days. If not, it will take me a year, or I might give up in the interim.

It was good. Not all that much happens, so not one for people who like epics or thrillers, maybe. It addresses some nice human issues of class and culture (and whether they are necessarily the same thing).

Bits of it were like trying to wade through Sophie's World, which I haven't managed to do yet. Other bits went by quite nicely.

Title: The Elegance of the Hedgehog
Author: Muriel Barbery
Country: France

What I liked

• It had a lovely soft cover with a matte finish and a built-in jacket you could tuck around your pages instead of using a bookmark


• There were two narrators - each one was shown in a different font (Times Roman type font for the older lady, Calibri font for the 12 year old - Calibri is the new and superior Arial) - I like it when books use font choice as part of the narrative. Why ignore visual language?


• Both narrators were grammar snobs


• There was a cocker-spaniel in the story (my childhood dog was a cocker-spaniel)


• All of the civilised characters drink tea as a ritual


• Both narrators like reading and watching movies (so do I)


• The ending is somewhat unexpected (the last few pages) - sudden, at the very least


• This quote: 'Tea and mangas instead of coffee and newspapers: something elegant and enchanting, instead of adult power struggles and their sad aggressiveness'


• 'Pschitt' - the onomatopoeic word the narrator uses to describe her mother spraying her pot-plants (it comes up several times as a metaphor for her child-rearing strategies)


• Short chapters


• The use of these words/phrases: dissonance, plebeian effluvia, clandestine, malaise, anesthetize, ephemeral, phantasms, Machiavellian, sanctimonious, esthetic, autodidacts, imbued

Things I didn't Like

• The chapters that were only about philosophical stuff


• The convenience of the make-over (maybe it was supposed to be Cinderella-ish)


• The inaccuracies in how the narrator described a fictional All Black player who leads the haka: 'Somu, the formidable New Zealand fullback - what an impressive player, with a colossal build; six foot eight, and two hundred and sixty pounds, runs a hundred meters in eleven seconds, a fine specimen indeed....' No doubt supposed to be Lomu, but even taller, playing an unlikely position for someone of that size and someone with a Tongan/Samoan name leading the the haka? I guess it happens....

* * *
And I'm happy that natural order is restored by Miss Venezuala winning Miss Universe!
* * *
And I was re-reading some old entries I didn't quite publish on my blog and found this t-shirt site for grammar snobs. Bliss!

Ditto.

The other teacher-blogs mention being busy. I agree.

• Reports to write (oops, I will not meet my first deadline - too bad).


• Open Evening stuff to do.


• Being in charge of two classes' programmes is taxing on me. Lots of tweaking and preparation to do.


• Marking marking marking. Not that I do it very often - but it's hanging over my head very ominously.


• My form class are being **** to all their teachers. All kinds of 'situations' to get on top of there. One of the good girls told me that it took one teacher half an hour to do the roll because they just wouldn't shut up and he kept insisting on quiet. Poor guy! He's a PRT. My girls need a firm hand. They have no self-discipline.


• Running tutorials and catch-ups during lunchtimes.

Might try and go to quiz on Thursday though. Any takers?

That will do.

More blogging in the weekend. Weekdays too busy.

I have always wanted a mobily scooter anyhow.

OLD AGE STORY #1

I drove two girls from my basketball team home tonight after the game. I guess they're both in their early or mid 20s somewhere.

One of the girls said she was going out tonight, once she got home. The other girls was all, 'Goodness - students eh.'

To which she replied, 'Yeah - we honestly are having to force ourselves to do it, though. We don't usually go out. We all actually like staying home and reading books like a bunch of nanas.'

[Note that at this point in the conversation I was thinking 'I can relate, girlfriend']

'... But we're going to make ourselves go out. We honestly act like we're 30 or something, instead of 21, like we actually are.'

If you did not see the cringe bit for me, rewind.

'.... like a bunch of nanas...... like we're 30 or something.....'

And she wasn't being funny, purposely exaggerating the age nana-ish behaviour should start at. She was being quite serious.

I sat in my seat and quietly drove on. Me being 31 and all. And, by her logic, at the age of being a nana.

Oh to be young again and see 30 as some far-off age.

I will pretend, to make myself feel better, that she naturally assumed by my spritely demenor and youthful looks that I myself am closer to 21 than 30. She obviously sees me as a peer and didn't even think that her nana comment would cut close to my bone.

Yeah.... I'll take it as a compliment.....

OLD AGE STORY #2

At dinner, Kyle was talking about some young 18 year old who he works with at the bar. We jokingly said, 'Geez - that's a bit young even for you!' He said that he had figured out he was actually older than her and her twin added together. That's over 36 years old (for those a little slow on the mathematics).

We had a, 'Whoa! When you put it like that you're really old!' moment and laughed at him.

He then said, 'You know you're old when you have to start hoping your colleagues have hot single mums.'
* * *
HOLY COW - NOT ONLY DO PEOPLE THINK I'M A NANA, BUT THEY ALSO THINK I'M AN UBER-GEEK!
You may remember my blog a few months ago about the video-shop-nerd bonding with me over sci-fi films and sharing a binary number joke with me.
I just found the website that has the binary joke t-shirt he was referring to.
And how did I find this site, you ask?
It is a site that SVEND linked to! The video-shop-nerd assumes I'm hard-core :) I would only dare to dream of being in the sphere of nerdiness that Svend inhabits and to be checking out his sites of nerd-products on a regular basis.
It's almost a compliment how hard-core-sci-fi-nerdy he assumed I was capable of being. I could be his elf-princess or something. Next time he role-plays.
I'm just kidding (by the way). In case the internet does not sufficiently communicate my tone. I love nerds. I love Svend. I am a nerd. But I refuse to wear nerdy tshirts with maths jokes on them. Those are purely for the hard-core nerdy lamo maths teachers. I was rejected from their sect years ago and still hold a grudge.... Tshirts with jokes about grammar, on the other hand, are witty and cool.

CLUES

1 - Something in that picture no longer exists. It's not the mug.

2 - My, what long and elegant fingers you have, my precious.

3 - Are those cufflinks you are wearing, Mr Fancy Pants?

4 - About to give a speech - do your best.

5- The Hair.

6 - Who would hold a chocolate penis up in public?

7 - Hmm. You couldn't play the guitar with those hands but you could kill 1,000 flies.

8 - It's hand, not han.

9 - I'll get you a watch just like that for $5 next time I'm in Thailand. Or buy you one on Trade-Me. Bargain!

10 - A rather defensive pose.

11 - My fair lady.

12- My hand is up! Pick me!

13 - So elegant, they're almost feminine.

14 - Holy chop-sticks, Batman!

15 - I estimate there's a t-shirt and jeans hidden under the suit.

16 - A brazen pose.

17 - What's in his hand? Oh - the usual.

18 - Tennis today, eh? Ok - as long as it's not too late.

19 - A flattering angle.

20 - What's that perched on her finger?

ART STUFF

Two Drunken Lushes
Taking Photos of themselves at the bus-stop before going into town (while Ange sings 'Slip Slidin' Away' for some odd reason....)

* * *

I went with Pete the Painter (the guy in our sleepout this summer) to hang his work at Deluxe Cafe last night. If you are there in the next two weeks, check it out!

A couple 0f people were looking at them while he was hanging it up, and they must've seen that I was chatting to him. So they asked me if they were for sale - and I said, 'Yes - for the next two weeks'. I felt like his manager or something. His representative. He was just humbly hanging them up, trying to get them straight and not stand in anyone's coffee while climbing up on chairs and scaling the walls.

I got an iced coffee and boysenberry muffin with oodles of raspberry icing and read some gig guides. I didn't realise there were outdoor movies showing up at the Veladrome in Hataitai. Cool! Apparently they cost the same as a night out at Reading's though.

Personal favourites of Pete's work include the Fidel's one and the Mt Vic tunnel one.

* * *

The sky is blue. I am going to finish reading my book. It's a great book. I borrowed it off Ange. After I finish it I'm gonna read the one I borrowed off Sam. Then there's the one I borrowed off Kirsten......

The Ange book is about a boy named Herman and it's Swedish. Herman is losing his hair, so he has started wearing his rain-hat everywhere. His dad drives a crane and can see America from up there in the sky.

* * *

The cat from next is still popping in and looking for the Englishmen. We are going to continue their long-term plan of catnapping the cat and making it ours.... Don't tell the neighbours.....

* * *

I have to give Fishy something tonight at netball. I hope I don't forget! It's another part of her house-warming present that I came across at the Iko Iko sale. Appropriately themed.

Uh.

Tonight a girl hurt herself fairly decently at b'ball. Wrenched her knee and had to be carried off the court.

Then she vomitted.

She was fairly woozie after that and the sports co-ordinator put her in the recovery position. I had total faith in his ability to deal with the situation -until he pulled me aside and said, 'Uh - what do you reckon - should we call an ambulance or just let her mum pick her up???' and he seemed open to suggestion.

I thought, 'Dude! You're the sports guy with (presumably) first aid certificates up the yin-yang ... That's like me going to you and asking where the apostrophe goes. It's kinda concerning.....'

Anyhow.... My amateur call that she was in slight shock and pulled herself out of it was right. Sucks to be her - it's her 18th in two days and she had planned to go clubbing. All she'll be doing now is hobbling.

My confidence in waiting til the mum arrived was based mostly on thinking she helped run the Wellington basketball league.... I realised part-way through this that I was thinking of the girl's cousin..... Oops. Turns out she works in a hospital anyhow.

Let loose.

I got to go on sports exchange today. It is with my old school up in the LVN area. I like going on these.

Highlights

• Getting to wear a fancy sports jacket from my school (it was warm with a polar fleecy lining and has the school logo on it)


• Getting a free lunch pack given to me by the host school (with a chocolate chip muffin in it)


• Seeing the old quadrangle is still the same (beautiful part of the school with rose gardens where me and Ange used to hang out every lunchtime of our youth)


• Managing to coach the basketball team to a narrow victory (I did much yelling and nagging of refs and score-bench to earn my free lunch)


• Getting to watch High School Musical on the bus-ride home

I only saw one teacher from when I was there and to be honest he actually doesn't look any older at all. He's aging well. We were all quite shocked at the skankily high hem-lines those LVN girls wear. We're talking a good hand-span above the knee, whereas my girls wear theirs below the knee - classy.

The basketball game was very exciting. We were up in the first quarter, maintained that lead in the second, lost it in the third, at which stage the game was tied. Then we got behind a few in the fourth. One of our key players fouled out (despite Miss J's only bit of advice when she was allowed back on the court after picking up her 4th foul late in the 2nd quarter being 'Don't foul - I mean it. We need points, don't worry about trying to get steals ......... I'd rather have you on the court til the end').

It was the last event still running, so all of the girls from our school were upstairs, lining the balcony and yelling with all their might. The home-crowd were trying to counter us, and had young males to bolster their volume. I was having to yell at the top of my voice to be heard. Useful things like, 'NO FOUL, NO FOUL!' to my two remaining players who were also on four fouls. I was also 'helping' the refs who were very open to suggestion. If I yelled out things like '3 SECONDS!' or '8 SECONDS!' they often made the call. Without my helpful suggestions I don't think they would have.

Anyhow, with about five minutes to go we were down by three, player fouled out. We staged a mini-comeback and got it tied up. At this point three of their best players were also on 4 fouls.... and we attacked the middle. Managed to draw fouls and get their only two big girls out of the game. After that we eked out a four point lead in the final couple of minutes, but it was tense stuff. They celebrated after the final whistle like they'd won a final or something. I lost a little of my voice.

My best bits of advice were, 'Stop fouling - the refs are calling anything that looks like a reach' (which obviously nobody listened to) and 'The weakside wing needs to go in for offensive rebounds' (which they actually listened to and managed to get a couple of put-backs from).

It was fun. My perfect record remains - our basketball teams have not lost an exchange the whole time I've been there (despite some very close calls and come-back efforts).

* * *

Back to DVD4 of Season3 of Gilmore Girls.

Small Stuff

1. An exfoliant thief is possibly at work. Traps are being set to confirm my suspician.

2. My 7th form class have decided I remind them of Sarah Potts from Shortland St.

3. Marty got a fish. He called it Indiana. It barely moves.

4. Our second fish, Audrey, died. She was a bit of a tart anyhow. Motley still lives.

5. Marty's bowl is three times as big as ours (at least) and the people at Animates said it was only sufficient for one fish. Possibly why we have had two fish deaths recently.

6. I am watching a lot of sci-fi for upcoming unit for Media. Am concentrating on dystopia films (Matrix, Twelve Monkeys, Blade Runner).

7. I am running the Year 9 Spelling Bee tomorrow. I had big plans. The host was going to wear a bee suit and I was going to play 'ABC' by the Jackson 5 as theme music. None of this has worked out. But there shall be spelling! And a Queen Bee shall be crowned (I bought a crown at the $2 Shop today).

8. I pigged out today. Grain Waves and macadamia chocolate. Mmm. Not feeling so good now though.....

9. Cassie and Ange's 30ths soon.

10. I bought some 50c Lego rip-offs at the $2 Shop (on special). Reidun, Kyle and Marty had a race to build their models. The models were all pastel coloured playground scenes. Marty's figure looked odd.

11. Tomorrow is Bagel Breakfast day!

Things Disappointing

We went to the Tasting Room last night, our usual work-drinks Friday night haunt.

And the fries came in a bowl.

We were disappointed.

They usually come in a rustic old pot on a wooden chopping board. A generous portion too.

Now they come in a plain white bowl. On a plain what tray. And the helping is somewhat less generous.

Stink one.

* * *

In happier news, I am finally at the point where the video guy no longer asks me my name. And a referee at indoor netball, who's never had a conversation with me beyond 'You're not the ref - so keep your opinions to yourself.... one more word out of you and I'll throw you off the court'.... came up and said 'Hi Kate..... are you enjoying your netball? I've been watching you over the years... .and you don't seem to be playing as well....'

It was odd.

It was like something out of the Stalkers101 handbook of how NOT to start a first conversation with someone you've never really talked to before.

Here is an excerpt:
'When initiating conversation with someone you have been watching from afar:
a - do not reveal that you already know their name (people tend to get offput when you know their name without having been introduced and use it as if you are old friends)
b - do not reveal that you have been 'watching them for years'
c - do not go into deep and meaningful conversations about their enjoyment of life

* * *

I am going to get a haircut next week. Julie is having one tomorrow. I think I might get a bob. I had a bob when I was younger. I quite liked it. I think my hair was straighter then, somehow.

Sport Lily

I could soon be playing four different sports each week. That's a record! When I was growing up I pretty much played basketball only, up to five days a week I'd have trainings or games.

We'd play in the Friday night Palmerston league, which was the one we really cared about (and won three years in a row). We were the underdog little school from the small town, who had to fight to just get in the competition each year (certain conveynors from Palmy schools wanted it to be for their city only, without outlying towns being invited to play). My mum would sit in the meetings and point out that our school never complained about the 45 minute commute each way, always turned up to games and did our duties and that we raised the level of the competition and without it, our school would be left with three other local schools to play, none of whom had a good basketball programme. They would eventually agree to let us stay and play.

We'd sometimes also play in the local league, as a mid-week training. That was against grown women - some of whom were pretty feisty. If the school team wasn't playing in that, I'd get together a bunch of friends to play. Just about every girl from our 4th form class ended up playing for us. We'd have to do score-bench and referee games ourselves - for a 13 year old girl, reffing men's games is not a fun thing! But that's grass root basketball for you. In Wellington, you never have to provide refs and most of the kids come through having never reffed a game. I think it's a sad thing. Reffing is like a rite of passage that everyone should have to endure. My brother coached us some seasons.

Then there was a mid-week local schools league that was held in Levin. It was one of those things that just kept the kids of the street, and my mum pretty much ran it by herself. It got pretty big with teams from Otaki and Foxton travelling to play. So every Thursday my whole family would be down at the stadium, playing and chipping in where we could. And dad would pick us up and we'd get Chinese take-aways on the way home at 8pm. Then mum would get us to help her collate all the scores and make the draw for next week. It was all done by hand in those days - not on spreadsheets.

On Wednesdays we always had training for the Senior A. I would bike down on mum's old bike with the basket and carrier on it, or my friend Sarah would pick me up in her mini. We would train after the boys, which meant we could sit upstairs and watch them play their pick-up game at the end of their practice. They played skins versus shirts. Exciting for teenage girls to see! Me and my brother would be allowed to take the key to the gym to trainings and were entrusted with locking up the gym and turning off all the lights. In the holidays we would have the odd sneaky pick-up game at the gym, possibly not something the PE department would approve of. It seemed natural at the time, but the school I work at now doesn't even entrust teachers to lock up the gym and would have kittens if you left it up to a student.

How times have changed.

Sports Now

Tuesdays

We've been trying out playing Ultimate Frisbee on a Tuesday. I like it because it flows pretty well and you don't have those quiet phases like you can in a netball game, if you're down the wrong end. It's also quite casual and social. I like that throughout the game when you get subbed off, you can sit and chat with a variety of people. In netball you get your one quarter off, and there might be one guy off with you. I like that we don't take it toooo seriously as we're all not fantastic yet. We yell out encouragement about small victories and trash-talk each other without actually hitting on points of pride.

Wednesdays

I play for Michelle's netball team, which has bits and pieces of my old Monday night netball teams on it. It's a good team - we all know each other's styles pretty well now and we have a lot of strengths. We're in the top grade for the night, so games tend to be challenging. I like that it's a high level of play and everyone on the team is fairly competitive, yet doesn't get miffed too badly if things go wrong. There's a sense of humour there.

Thursdays

Basketball starts up again next week. I play for a club team and there are ladies on it that I've played with for a few years now. I'm not really friends with any of them, only socialising once a season or so, but they're all good sorts. It's a nice womanly kind of environment where everyone's included. There are some pretty tough-minded women on the team. We have had a few new players recently, which has frustrated me a little. They just don't quite know where to stand on defence, which is integral to a zone. I guess it takes a while to figure out just have far out you can go when you're playing base in a zone.

Soon to Come

Lawn bowls! A game that has a slower pace and more analysing. Should be fun. I like that it crosses generations.

Encouraging

We played a game in form time today that was kinda like musical chairs. The person in the middle would say, 'Stand up if you [insert option here]' and there would be a mad scramble of kids jumping up and swapping seats if that thing applied to them. One person would be left standing in the middle.

I was in the middle and I said, 'Stand up if you like Britney Speares.'

Nobody moved!

Tragic.

A guy on findsomeone who I'd been chatting to for a while finally gave me his cell-number and said to text him and that he wanted to meet up. I fully intended texting him, because he seemed quite cool and we'd built up a nice rapport. He was taller than me, a good weight, had a nice smile and could spell well.

But for some reason, in the next few days he took his profile down (maybe his membership ran out). I discovered this when I logged in to write his number down and text him! All his messages have disappeared. My inner-girl thinks he might assume I wrote his number down, or can still read his old messages..... or that I was never actually going to text him.

Stink one.

I realise it would be kinda psycho-ish to put up a posters in some local shop windows (we live in the same suberb) saying 'CLAYTON - I DIDN'T WRITE DOWN YOUR NUMBER, KATE'. Though it seems like something that would work in the movies......

To make myself feel less frustrated, I will assume he met someone else this week and is no longer single. That way it was not my fault and circumstances were well out of my control.....

There could be any number of reasons he disappeared. I was about to meet up with a guy (we'd even discussed days and venues) when he suddenly called me 'dude' in a message. That one little word prompted me to change my mind about the whole thing. I could not date a guy who called me 'dude'.

That is my bad news for the day :(

Prizes!

Our Frisbee team may not have won many games.... but we cleaned up at the prize-giving ceremony tonight.

Jon got Male MVP (to which I loudly protested - his head is big enough already, and he'd undertaken a thorough smear campaign against me getting any MVPs this season). He did get a lot of points, according to his own tally.

Then our team got the Spirit Award for the grade. I'm not sure if they were being ironical...... or if we actually got it legitimately! I have figured out we probably got it for a combination of a) not knowing the rules enough to annoyingly point them out to the opposition b) not being good enough to be arrogant and patronising by cart-wheeling and doing push-ups in the middle of the game and c) not defaulting any games.

So, essentially, it's the attendance prize! The geek award! Yay us for turning up every week. And, as Jon Ball (MVP) pointed out, we did tend to abuse our own team-mates, rather than the opposition.

Our name for next season might be Disc O Cows. Girl Sam came up with that.

Funniest play of the the game: When Sam (I think) and Damon simultaneously slipped over, and the girls tried to fast break on us, since they had numbers.....

400 Posts.

Wow, that's a lot.

1. Dark Knight

Went to see the Batman movie last night. It was really fun. Long in a good way. I like how they're a bit more psychologically focused than your average action movie. Never would have anticipated it being such a successful franchise. Anyhow, I'm not going to rave on too much because I'm sure that'll be done enough by other people :)

2. Facbook 'Friend'

Had that weird social dynamic of seeing someone in person who I'd been friends with on Facebook, and then deleted as a friend (because we'd never interacted personally, other than me receiving lots of those annoying application requests and bulk 'gifts', and she was only a brief work colleague a couple of years ago).

Anyhow. It wasn't too weird because we were both just in the line for the bathroom, and I don't even know if she saw me...... But I suddenly had this pang of guilt at having deleted her. It makes quite a statement. She probably has about 400 friends and hadn't even noticed, to be honest. And she looked heavily pregnant, which I had no idea about, further illustrating how we aren't exactly close. I still felt a bit mean for a second.

In real life being 'friends' with someone is much more organic, and just kinda ebbs and flows naturally, without you having to quantify it. On Facebook it's reduced to clicking 'accept' or 'ignore' or 'remove'. Quite blatant and not much room for middle ground! Very high-school.

3. Ex 'Friend'

Other odd dynamics are being in a group situation with someone you dated for a reasonable amount of time and finding that you're now more a friend-of-a-friend. Worthy of the quick 'hi' and head nod in recognition, but thoroughly out of the loop and a step behind the in-jokes. Kinda like going backwards in time to when we'd met through a friend, but without the sexual tension and mystery, so a totally new dynamic. Quite jarring, moving down the spectrum from having intimacy to being polite.

Quite a natural progression but still odd to think 'I've seen you naked - I know some of your deepest secrets, yet anyone watching would guess we'd met once or twice'. Just odd. When I broke up with my last boyfriend it was a much less complicated transition because we have absolutely no common friends (possibly one of the contributing factors to our breakup, but that's a different issue!), so I wouldn't hear things about him through other people.

You have to feel out how you're going to be friends. You can go along the spectrum from being really close-friends to being functional-friends to the extent that if you're at a group party together you can stop and chat for a minute without it being too awkward. I guess it's going to vary depending on how you met, how you broke up, what you still have in common, how openly you communicate and how motivated you are to 'make it work'. And I guess it changes over time. I'm sure it gets there eventually, if you both want it to - but until then, you can be very conscious of the changes.

I have to admit it's not always a transition I'm very good at! I over think things.

What am I missing....

I am not any kind of authority on the whole 'anti-smacking' laws. But I know that 'yes' was the right answer and that the vast majority of voters did not say 'yes' (hard to know how many people abstained because it was a ridiculously worded question that over-simplified the matter and was emotively loaded to lead people towards 'no').

So I am very surprised to hear that John Key says he won't change the law, but will just make changes to instructions on how to carry it out, or something to that effect.

To me, a very left-wing voter, that seems the sensible thing to do. He is even going against what a lot of his National cabinet want to do. Brave man. He is making a mockery of a $9million campaign - he does not like to waste money on anything but MP perks, I thought.

So.... what's the catch?

I have been conditioned to expect him to do the opposite of what I think is sound and moral..... I can't see what he's getting out of this move.

I feel cheap and dirty actually agreeing with him on something. I know there is some evil capitalist motive behind it somewhere! Can anyone point it out to me?

Update: maybe Key is just recognising the big economic cost of child abuse (see Stuff article). That makes sense. Child abuse = cost. Cost = bad.

* * *

As an aside, I heard a sound-bite from him on the radio and I cringed through the whole thing. He is in serious need of elocution lessons! Helen had a 'distinctive' voice, but at least she pronounced her consonants correctly.

* * *

Schools are becoming so dangerous some teachers are doing lunch duty in pairs or
taking walkie-talkies with them - and their union is now calling for social
workers, truancy officers or even police to step in instead.

So says Stuff.

While I have no doubt there are schools out there like that, mine certainly isn't one of them.

The worst I've had to do on duty is ask kids to not play with their volleyball in the quad (and yes I did run around ridiculously trying to get it off them, because they refused to give it to me...). Or ask them to pick up rubbish, or not stand on desks.

The other day I intercepted what may or may not have come to a fight between girls in my class. There were no punches exchanged, but some nasty words and intimidation. I marched them to the DP's office and it was dealt with fairly swiftly and with consequences and parent meetings.

In short, my school is pretty sweet to teach at.

I am every so slightly jealous of people who get to take walkie-talkies with them on duty. You'd have to wear big aviator glasses as well, so you felt like you were on some cheesy cop show.

Maybe the real answer is to widen the introduction of supervised bull-rush at lunch-time.

1. Kids say the Darndest Things

There's a Maori kid at school. A rather PC teacher who's been learning the reo recently went up to her and spoke some words in Maori, assuming this kid could understand.

The kid has no clue what she's saying. The kid doesn't really speak Maori. Not in full sentences. So the teacher gets to the end of the speil and the kid wonders how the heck she can respond politely.

You gotta think there're a few options running through her head -
a) Tell the truth and admit you don't understand.
b) Just nod.
c) Give a generic response in English, like 'Morning, Miss. Yeah - ready for class!'
d) Say something generic in Maori, like 'Ae' or 'Kia ora, Miss.'
e) Nod and then change the subject, 'Uh -what page are we on, Miss?'

But instead of that she gives what she considers an authentic response, one which won't give her ignorance away.

She nods and says, 'Chur.'

The teacher moves on, suspecting nothing.

Hehe. I like that.

Apparently for the rest of the week the kid, who's a class clown and has told her class about this incident, will at random moments call out 'Cher!' and the rest of them will crack up laughing.

Sometimes kid are naughty, and we have to tell them off (to maintain our air of authority and conservatism), but deep down we do think it's a bit funny too.
2. Pet Peeve

On the topic of work, it is irking me somewhat at the moment that it's nigh on impossible to get any actual 'work' done in the room I work in during my non-contacts. There are almost constant interruptions.

Internal monologues, please. I have taken to wearing my earphones in order to concentrate. But people still try and talk to me...... Adults are annoying like that.

3. My Food of the Week....

.... is plums. Dark red plums. Yum. I got a 1kg bag of them.

Mandarins are my other favourite. And freshly chopped pineapple.

I am getting my 5+ a day.

Pokered

Justin had a beginner-friendly poker game at his house today.

I have leart a lot. Having sucked up all the knowledge in the room, I am now ready to play properly. I reckon next time I play I'll be awesome.

We played three $5 games, none of which I won. But I did not finish last in any of them! And by the final game I was 3rd out of 5, and I could've duked it out for 2nd place, but we were running short on time so I took a gamble that didn't pay off (bloody Justin and his ace).

I have learnt

1. You probably shouldn't go in on an 8 and a 3.

2. People don't bluff as often as I assumed.

3. What 'ALL IN!' means. Poker has heaps of fun sayings to learn!

4. What an 'Ana Kournakova' is (ace/king combo - not as good as it looks). Though it beat my pair of kings on the final turn.

5. To hide my cards better.

6. To shuffle poker cards on the table - they are very slippery.

7. That beef jerky really is the perfect complement to a poker game.

8. That poker is a game of patience.

All in all, I'm happy with it. $15 for three hours of entertainment is a good deal. Better than a crappy movie!

* * *

Those of you who know Justin may want to ask him how he got his bruised eye. (I've got two words for you: shadow boxing.)

ELIMINATION #2

Just had a girl I went to high-school with 'friend' me. She was an actual friend - we had sleep-overs.

It turned into a straight swap for another high-school person. But this one was a guy who was really only on the outer fringe of my group of friends, and he was a little naughty for me to be one-on-one friends with. So he's gone.

What an exciting start to the day!

* * *

I've been listening to 'The Coast' on my bed-side radio this week. Ok, so it's old-people easy-listening, but I really like that old 50s and 60s stuff with the harmonising, and my radio gets barely any stations well. So shut up if you're about to mock me.....

And every time a particular jingle for the station has come on, I've misheard it and been momentarily shocked.

It goes something like 'Open fires on a winter night....'

But I keep hearing the word 'thighs' instead of 'fires'. Dodgey!

THE 80S! ELECTRONICS BUILT TO LAST!

* * *
And here's an accessory worthy of an English teacher.

Where

Elvis

Lives

Life

Incognito,

Never

Getting

To

O

N

The Sun is Smiling

Sunny spring mornings are the best.

On my supermarket trip I bought almost exclusively fresh things. Fish, juice, veges, fruit, flowers, Cyclops yoghurt, feta. And a thick paper to read.

I say this having had Burger Wisconsin for dinner just before my basketball game on Thursday and a quite nice seafood tom-yum soup from my local Thai restaurant (which is, according to my ex-chef flatmate, really really authentic and good). My body is craving non-take-awayed food, though.

But there is a good review for a new sushi restaurant on Vivian St. Might have to try it some time. Sushi is good. It's one of the only treat-foods you can have and actually feel good afterwards.

* * *

I watched The Bachelor on Friday, the 'After the Final Rose' special.

It is all very ick. In real life, I don't like the feeling of ever being someone's second-choice..... that show takes it to an entirely new level. I'd be deeply suspicious of a guy who changed his mind that quickly.

In something like 19 seasons of The Bachelor there has been only one actual marriage. So it's really just a glorified dating show.

Oddly compelling viewing, though :)

Bring back Studs, I say. It didn't pretend to be anything other than what it was - a hook-up show.

* * *

I love when Levin gets in the news. It's usually for random things. This time it's a protest at a Levin piggery. He he. Pigs. Levin. Who knew 'piggery' was a word?

This isn't up there with the mobility scooter hit and run or the eldery woman who got killed by a sheep.

bRomantic

I like the whole bro-mance thing. Guys have pretty cute friendships. Like Justin and Jon. Aww.

It seems to be a recent trend to have movies and TV shows based around a bro-mance - like Scrubs or Taledego Nights ('I'll put out your invisible flames!'). I think it's kinda cool that guys can be all, 'I love you, dude!'.

I was wondering if it really is such a modern trend though, or is it just having a resurgence? Are their earlier examples or prototypes? What defines it?

1. Big Boys - a willingness for sillyness

A bro-mance has an element of being a kid on the inside. Their eyes light up when they see each other, they could happily play games and do silly, childish things together. There is certainly an element of having retained what it is for boys to be friends when they're 4 year olds. You see scenes of the boys in Big Bang Theory playing computer games intently together, or Barney wanting to play laser tag in How I Met Your Mother or Joey and and Chandler playing foozeball in Friends.

These child-like adventures might often involve drugs/alcohol. There are a lot of bro-mance-ish comedies that revolve around pot-smoking, like Bill and Ted or Wayne's World or That 70s Show. Perhaps this is pertinent to the next point, as the altered state allows them to show emotions openly, with an 'excuse'. Maybe a bro-mance is also about keeping that wild, crazy part of your life alive (reminiscing together about your uni days). It's easy to say, 'I love you man,' when you're stoned or high.

Having said that, Michael Jackson and McCauly Caulkin don't quite fit the definition ....

2. It's Not Sexual

While a bro-mance can be physical, it's not sexual. It's ok to hug and say I love you, and even cry in front of each other. But there's never the undertone of it being 'gay'. I think it's (possibly?) a sign of growing maturity in society about it being ok for males to show affection towards each other without it being weird.

If the bro-mance is a more modern trend, perhaps this is part of the explanation. You had shows with male duos in them, like CHiPs or Simon and Simon, but there was this overt masculinity and staunchness. The tender moments were short and symbolic, rather than openly emotional. A little head nod of recognition.

The quality of being the strong-silent type and being independant and herioc were pretty trendy at that time. You had solo heroes like Rambo and McGyver and The Terminator. Emotions were for the weak. Affection could often not even be afforded for the ladies - these men were destined for a life of loneliness. Nobody could get too close to them.

It can verge on being sexual, with the odd awkward 'joke', like in Scrubs. But that's only because deep down guys know they'd be in heaven if they could marry their best mate and still be sexually satisfied. That is a fantasy. It's ok tell your bro their butt looks good in their new jeans, though.

But then you have people like Sam and Woody on Cheers, which also doesn't fit the definition because ....

3. It's Equal

I think in the past there have been male relationships that involved a big brother or mentoring role. In those situations it was ok to be affectionate.

There was Hans Solo and Luke, Batman and Robin (you could debate that they fail of category 2 already) or Larry and Balki. But they weren't quite bros. They had each other's backs, but one of them was really looking after the other one. It was playing on the whole side-kick fad. One of them was godly and cool, the other one wanted to be like them.

A bro-mance is about mutual respect. Nobody is superior to anybody else. Your bro lifts your ego up - it's not competitive. Bret and Jermaine are equally hapless in love.



Any omissions? Any other criteria? This is a theory-in-progress.