bRomantic

I like the whole bro-mance thing. Guys have pretty cute friendships. Like Justin and Jon. Aww.

It seems to be a recent trend to have movies and TV shows based around a bro-mance - like Scrubs or Taledego Nights ('I'll put out your invisible flames!'). I think it's kinda cool that guys can be all, 'I love you, dude!'.

I was wondering if it really is such a modern trend though, or is it just having a resurgence? Are their earlier examples or prototypes? What defines it?

1. Big Boys - a willingness for sillyness

A bro-mance has an element of being a kid on the inside. Their eyes light up when they see each other, they could happily play games and do silly, childish things together. There is certainly an element of having retained what it is for boys to be friends when they're 4 year olds. You see scenes of the boys in Big Bang Theory playing computer games intently together, or Barney wanting to play laser tag in How I Met Your Mother or Joey and and Chandler playing foozeball in Friends.

These child-like adventures might often involve drugs/alcohol. There are a lot of bro-mance-ish comedies that revolve around pot-smoking, like Bill and Ted or Wayne's World or That 70s Show. Perhaps this is pertinent to the next point, as the altered state allows them to show emotions openly, with an 'excuse'. Maybe a bro-mance is also about keeping that wild, crazy part of your life alive (reminiscing together about your uni days). It's easy to say, 'I love you man,' when you're stoned or high.

Having said that, Michael Jackson and McCauly Caulkin don't quite fit the definition ....

2. It's Not Sexual

While a bro-mance can be physical, it's not sexual. It's ok to hug and say I love you, and even cry in front of each other. But there's never the undertone of it being 'gay'. I think it's (possibly?) a sign of growing maturity in society about it being ok for males to show affection towards each other without it being weird.

If the bro-mance is a more modern trend, perhaps this is part of the explanation. You had shows with male duos in them, like CHiPs or Simon and Simon, but there was this overt masculinity and staunchness. The tender moments were short and symbolic, rather than openly emotional. A little head nod of recognition.

The quality of being the strong-silent type and being independant and herioc were pretty trendy at that time. You had solo heroes like Rambo and McGyver and The Terminator. Emotions were for the weak. Affection could often not even be afforded for the ladies - these men were destined for a life of loneliness. Nobody could get too close to them.

It can verge on being sexual, with the odd awkward 'joke', like in Scrubs. But that's only because deep down guys know they'd be in heaven if they could marry their best mate and still be sexually satisfied. That is a fantasy. It's ok tell your bro their butt looks good in their new jeans, though.

But then you have people like Sam and Woody on Cheers, which also doesn't fit the definition because ....

3. It's Equal

I think in the past there have been male relationships that involved a big brother or mentoring role. In those situations it was ok to be affectionate.

There was Hans Solo and Luke, Batman and Robin (you could debate that they fail of category 2 already) or Larry and Balki. But they weren't quite bros. They had each other's backs, but one of them was really looking after the other one. It was playing on the whole side-kick fad. One of them was godly and cool, the other one wanted to be like them.

A bro-mance is about mutual respect. Nobody is superior to anybody else. Your bro lifts your ego up - it's not competitive. Bret and Jermaine are equally hapless in love.



Any omissions? Any other criteria? This is a theory-in-progress.