Wow, that's a lot.
1. Dark Knight
Went to see the
Batman movie last night. It was really fun. Long in a good way. I like how they're a bit more psychologically
focused than your average action movie. Never would have anticipated it being such a successful franchise. Anyhow, I'm not going to rave on too much because I'm sure
that'll be done enough by other people :)
2. Facbook 'Friend'
Had that weird social dynamic of seeing someone in person who I'd been friends with on
Facebook, and then deleted as a friend (because we'd never interacted personally, other than me receiving lots of those annoying application requests and bulk 'gifts', and she was only a brief work colleague a couple of years ago).
Anyhow. It wasn't too weird because we were both just in the line for the bathroom, and I don't even know if she saw me...... But I suddenly had this pang of guilt at having deleted her. It makes quite a statement. She probably has about 400 friends and hadn't even noticed, to be honest. And she looked heavily pregnant, which I had no idea about, further illustrating how we aren't exactly close. I still felt a bit mean for a second.
In real life being 'friends' with someone is much more organic, and just kinda ebbs and flows naturally, without you having to quantify it. On
Facebook it's reduced to clicking 'accept' or 'ignore' or 'remove'. Quite blatant and not much room for middle ground! Very high-school.
3. Ex 'Friend'
Other odd dynamics are being in a group situation with someone you dated for a reasonable amount of time and finding that you're now more a friend-of-a-friend. Worthy of the quick 'hi' and head nod in recognition, but thoroughly out of the loop and a step behind the in-jokes. Kinda like going backwards in time to when we'd met through a friend, but
without the sexual tension and mystery, so a totally
new dynamic. Quite jarring, moving down the spectrum from having intimacy to being polite.
Quite a natural progression but still odd to think
'I've seen you naked - I know some of your deepest secrets, yet anyone watching would guess we'd met once or twice'. Just odd. When I broke up with my last boyfriend it was a much less complicated transition because we have absolutely no common friends (possibly one of the contributing factors to our breakup, but that's a different issue!), so I wouldn't hear things about him through other people.
You have to feel out
how you're going to be friends. You can go along the spectrum from being really close-friends to being functional-friends to the extent that if you're at a group party together you can stop and chat for a minute without it being too awkward. I guess it's going to vary depending on how you met, how you broke up, what you still have in common, how openly you communicate and how motivated you are to 'make it work'. And I guess it changes over time. I'm sure it gets there eventually, if you both want it to - but until then, you can be very conscious of the changes.
I have to admit it's not always a transition I'm very
good at! I over think things.