I love that my four year old neice admits when she's feeling shy. I wish I could still do that - but as a grown-up you have to fake it.

I was at a wedding yesterday where I didn't know many people well, and I'm not good at chit-chat at the best of times. I could understand my neice's sentiment. Early on she hid behind a couch in the house and and her nana found her there quietly crying to herself because nobody would play with her and she was feeling shy around the dozens of people.

Aww.

Aunty Kate looked after her for a bit after that, my little kindred spirit. She sat on my knee during the ceremony.

I'm stuck between generations in that family. My step-mother's kids are all late thirties early forties, with growing up kids. And the next generation are early 20s and below. I sat with the 20-somethings at dinner, and a few other stragglers joined us. Luckily I was sat next to a guy who reminds me of Richard and he was easy to talk to.

I have another wedding coming up where I suspect I'll end up feeling 'shy' as well. Hope there's a couch for me to hide behind.

Three things I did Last Year (of no particular importance)

1. Learnt to play the Ukulele

This is much, much easier than playing the guitar. And more portable. For the amateur musician (one who likes singing along more than actually caring about how the instrument sounds) I'd thoroughly recommend it. It's also really cheap and easy to self-learn. Not to mention how hip it is.

2. Used up a Loyalty Card

Traditionally I lose or don't use my loyalty cards. This year I actually bought ten books at Unity, so got a free one! I have entered a book buying phase - as an English teacher, I think it's appropriate. I also ordered my first books off Amazon last week.

3. Started Buying Fish

I have never really bought fresh fish from the supermarket. I started doing it every now and then this year. It's good. I like to cook it the way my dad did (when he had to take over cooking duties in my late teen years) - put a piece in tin foil, with tomatoe and onion slices and butter, pop in oven for 15 minutes or so.

* * *

I like that I will have eaten dinner away from home 4 of the last 7 nights.

* * *

Self Assurance

I'm trying to define that almost intangible quality that separates people I want to be friends with from people who annoy me.

I think self-assurance is attractive in friends. In most people, really. Especially if you can achieve it without having ego issues.

Maybe I'm straying into what I like in a colleague there - it peeves me when other teachers let their ego get in the way of kids' learning. Some teachers get really offended when a kid in their class seeks advice from a different teacher, or if someone else uses their resource without giving them credit. There aren't many reasons to really protest situations like those, other than 'it hurt my ego' and that's a selfish attitude for a teacher to have.

My attitude here is contenscious and it's actually senior staff at our school who I most often see these traits in.... Maybe one day I'll be more like that - I may still be naive about some things. Maybe it's a carry-over from the days of the bell-curve and Sixth Form Certificate, when you were actually competing with your colleagues for a finite set of grades.

I think in the NCEA era that this attitude is outdated.

Anyhow, it comes into friendship too. I like people who can handle a debate without taking it personally. For example, they're not going to take it as a personal attack if I say that they're right-wing scum for liking Act. It can also come into sports (and most of my friends play or have played sports... actually maybe in NZ that's not an unusual thing).

I think even playing a team sport takes a certain level of self-assurance, but you don't want to let any given performance define who you are or how you think people see you. Maybe self-assured people can have a crap game, and admit that without expecting sympathy.

I think what I'm thinking of here is a more complex set of traits and I've over-simplified it. I guess pride is a factor in there - what is the relationship between pride and self-assurance?

Actually, given my own definition I might not even want to be friends with myself. My self assurance disappears in sitations like dancing, or if I'm playing in a higher basketball grade.

Maybe I should limit that to self-assurance in at least some aspects of life, particularly intellectual areas. Most of my friends are smart in that way, and they know it. I've had friends who don't want to come to pub quizzes because they're self-conscious about not knowing enough, but the vast majority of my friends love such things.

And maybe those who come anyhow are self-assured enough to know that trivia-knowledge isn't really that important, and so there's no shame in being bad at it. But then, maybe competitive spirit comes into it too - some people just don't get a buzz out of that environment, but will happily have animated chats about random facts over coffee.

That's rather a ramble.

The wind never stops.

I'm excited about the Japanese takeaway shop that's opened down in the village. Most H'town eateries are closed this time of year (including both the cafes) - it's a ghost town.

Read another book - this one won a Pullitzer Prize, but I didn't love it. I found the end kinda unsatisfying, though the middle was good. That's two and a bit books so far these holidays - not bad. I have a few more to go.

I'm ok with people calling this decade 'twenty-ten'.

I went for a walk up Mt Vic yesterday and my lack of fitness was evident.

The new plan for New Years is dinner at Hatai-Thai. It's BYO! And I live around the corner, so cocktails there afterwards-slash-before. And maybe some board or card games. It may just be me, Cass, Nicky and Cass's brother. Anyone else is welcome to join us.

The camping thing didn't work out. I hadn't really made much effort into getting equipment, I hadn't found a friend t0 go up with me (my friends are non-camping types) and then I found out my favourite relatives aren't even going.... The appeal dwindled. I'd also forgotten there was a family wedding on January 8th.... A lot of family time!

* * *

And let me remind people about the fun, free events on in Wellington this week.

There is the uni-cycling world champs! I'm keen to go to something that's on at TSB Arena one night - that's where the artistic competitions are. I wanna see tricks! [I can't vouch that this is free - no mention of costs on any of the programmes.]
And the City Gallery is free every second Wednesday for anyone who hasn't seen the dots exhibition yet, or wants to see it again. That falls on December 30th, so free this Wednesday!

My four year old niece is charming. As soon as I arrived at their house on Christmas Eve she grabbed me by the hand and started showing me her best things.

I watched her jump off the couch many different ways, exclaiming how clever she was each time. I helped her brush her teeth and watched a bit of an Ariel cartoon with her in bed.

I slept on the couch in the room with the presents. So at about 6.30am I started seeing the bigger kids peering in through the door. They whispered about Santa's handwriting, and the older kid said to her brother, 'Look at it next to the others - you don't think they're the same?' and her brother earnestly said, 'No.' Cute. Their mum reckons they're at the age where they don't actually believe anymore, but they don't want to admit it.

The little one opened all her toys and said, 'Just what I wanted!' to each one. I like that she was the most excited by the giant lollypop she got, which her mum had told me the night before was the one thing she had really asked for. I then spent ages getting new dolls out of their packaging - it's not easy!

Then other bits of the family arrived. And the eating began.

My brother liked his giant box of beef jerky (24 packs). I knew he would. I quietly agreed to buy the Whitcoull's voucher someone gave him off him (last time he bought something at a book-shop is when he used to read GI Joe comics at primary school).

I have a nice family. Everyone had a good time and nobody complained. The kids all played together well (though the two 4 year old cousins somehow got into a bunch of paints in the shed and came out red-handed, with splatters and smears all over their new clothes - from what their parents said to them afterwards, I'm guessing at that age the concept of only painting on paper is still in need of reinforcing).

* * *

Boxing day, I casually decided to go to the sales out at Lyall Bay. I was just noting to myself that the streets were eerily empty on the way out there, right up until I was half-way down the road from the complex... when I saw car carnage.

There were queues of cars waiting to just drive into the parking lot... after circling the lot three times unsuccessfully and being on the verge of either an anxiety attack (because I was almost trapped in the grid-lock) or road-rage, I figured a wee walk in the ocean air was less stressful than getting carpark-rage.

I got some grown-up things - two new sets of sheets (Egyptian cotton high thread count, of course), a new ironing board (mine had had a lump in the middle of it since I took it home from the shop in the bus) and a lint brush. Lint brushes are amazing! I can't believe I've never had one before. My life has now changed forever - I can't believe what a lint covered slob I have been all this time. The shame.

I spent the afternoon watching stuff I'd taped on My-Sky (we just got it last week - so the novelty of it has not worn off) and giving myself a foot-spa (a present from last Christmas that I figured I should give a go finally). I now understand why they include the fluffy white slippers in the pack - it is exactly what your feet feel like wearing after they're pampered.

My secret pleasure at the moment is watching 'Shear Genius', a reality show where hairdressers get pitted against each other in weird challenges. In today's episode they firstly had to do the Meg-Ryan-shag on a mannequin's head, then they had to use house-hold items to cut hair (one lady had a massive set of hedge-clippers, but actually did a decent job).

Merry Christmas.

Oriental Bay on a slightly blustery Christmas Eve Afternoon, where everything is a relative ghost-town as people either head off around the country or fear the fictitious Christmas-Eve-crush in the city.

I have a post-chocolate-feasting head-ache. Detox time!

Christmas Eve Eve Eve

1. A Serious Film

I was Rich's movie-buddy for the week and we took in 'A Serious Man' by the Coen Brothers. I'd read reviews that warned me about it, so wasn't shocked by its bleakness. It was.... odd. Interesting. And.... very bleak.

As we were leaving, still trying to decipher what the ending meant (it cuts off at a really odd place) Richard did ask me, 'Is there anyone you recommend that to?' and I drew a blank. Perhaps I am underestimating the oddness of my friends and their tastes, but it's certainly not likely to be a main-stream success. Don't go to it based on liking 'No Country for Old Men' or 'The Big Lebowski' or 'O Brother Where Art Thou'. It's a different kettle of fish.

I do like the Coen Brothers. As with their others, this film is well made and clever. And in the book I'm reading (mentioned in previous post) it talks about how a lot of artists say they like to play around with the white space, or silence, in their work.... and that is what the Coen Brothers like to do. There are lots of bits with long, awkward silences where all you can hear is someone stirring their tea or the sound of a machine sucking the fluid out of the uncle's cyst [a detail entirely fitting the tone of the movie, but one I could have done without].

It's certainly a film worthy of discussion and study, more-so than 'Avatar'. One to ponder. Much like a movie like 'Citizen Kane' is a worthy film, though not necessarily easy to watch. I'm not saying it's in that category of film, just that it had lots of unexplained bits you could discuss. Whereas a rom-com might be more enjoyable and easy to watch, but you really don't have a lot of points to ponder afterwards. I have faith that the things I don't quite understand about the film (like, what was the whole prologue about and how was it relevant to the story? and was the Jefferson Airplane song more significant than I realised?) were carefully done and if I listened to a director's commentary on it I would be impressed by the cleverness of it all.

I liked the main character - he certainly was a serious man. Very likable - he took life's knocks with a certain grace, though you'd want to shake him into action at times. For me, that made the film more enjoyable than something like 'The Reader' where I didn't like any of the characters.

And there was some dark humour in there - funny moments. Actually, the whole thing was kinda funny - not in a LOL way, but in a HEH kinda way. All the situations were dealt with in a humorous way - the humour of awkwardness. The tone was very Coen-ish throughout in that regard.

I'd say it was the Coen Brothers being a bit self-indulgent (I've read this is the most autobiographical film they've done). It's a quality film, but it has a very unresolved narrative.

Certainly not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm glad I saw it.

2. On Demand

I've been trolling the TVNZ site for shows and clips to watch. I found this one about 'Larping' and watched it, since I think I know lots of people that do it.... was hoping I'd recognise more people in it!

3. Waterfront Pictures

I am reading a book. A book about music and the brain. And psychology and neuro-science stuff. It's called "This is Your Brain on Music".

So far I have read the introduction and I like these two bits:

"Whenever humans come together for any reason, music is there: weddings, funerals, graduation from college, men marching off to war, stadium sporting events, a night on the town, prayers, a romantic dinner, mothers rocking infants to sleep, and college students studying with music as a background. Even more so in nonindustrialised cultures than in modern Western societies, music is and was part of the fabric of everyday life. Only relatively recently in our own culture, five hundred years or so ago, did a distinction arise that cut society in two, forming separate classes of music performers and music listeners. Throughout most of the world and for most of human history, music making was as natural an activity as breathing and walking, and everyone participated. Concert halls, dedicated to the performance of music, arose only in the last several centuries."

"Why do people seem to get stuck in their musical tastes as they grow older and cease experimenting with new music?"

* * *

Lots of things the author is bringing up are things I've had moments of wondering about.

Just last night I was talking to Billy, and he was describing how sometimes at the Welsh Dragon bar (which has a lot of Brits and travellers) lots of people turn up and sing songs together. Songs that he has never heard before, but which most people at the bar seem to join in for, a Capella. It's something that's missing in modern kiwi culture.

And I've been noticing for years that I hardly ever 'discover' new bands that I like. I've forgotten how to do it.... or I just don't like anything new.... or my brain is full up with things I already like. Not sure.

For many a year, up until I was at university, my dad was pretty 'hip' with the music and liked new artists that were coming out, like Ben Harper and Bjork. But now he's quite content with his old stuff and makes funny faces if I play him something new. Ever since he evolved to liking jazz.


I hope somewhere in the book I can find a justification for my SingStar obsession that makes it sound cultured and evolutionarily advanced.

The examples the author uses to explain timbre or rhythm or pitch are from music that I know, like Buddy Holly and the Beatles and Paula Abdul (he raves about the musical complexity of 'Straight Up'). And I never realised that the 'ABC Song' had the same melody as 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'. Not consciously, anyhow.

I look forward to reading more!

Walking along today (slightly stiffly - like a really really cool robot, I like to think) I saw some middle-aged ladies.

They had on sensible-shoes. With cushiony soles and velcro straps.

I hope I never have to wear old lady shoes. If I do, it will be a sign that I've given up. Or at least, my body has.

My back has returned to 90% power. Phew.

I did not like having to psyche myself up just to bend over and reach for the remote control on the table (it reminded me of when you've applied wax strips to your leg, and you have that moment of hesitation before you rip it off, because you know you are about to inflict sharp pain on yourself).

* * *

Where the Wild Things Are.

Interesting film. Nobody came out of it raving - at best people were defensively satisfied.

I liked it. As much out of loyalty to Spike Jonze as to the book its based on. But of its own account it was nicely made. I guess the criticisms of it would be that it didn't have a whole lot of emotional depth and it got fairly repetitive in its narrative cycle. Have destructive, wild fun. Feel lonely and sad afterwards. Repeat.

But it was nicely filmed, had a good sound-track, great special effects. And it had 'moments' that held gravity without having to say a lot. I liked how when he returned home at the end, him and his mother didn't even say a word - there were just lingering close-ups on their faces, showing all kids of love/regret/relief/apologies/understanding.

We talked afterwards about how, while we didn't love the casting of Max, it was understandable that for the story they were telling you probably couldn't have used a younger/cuter kid.

Anyhow... Jonze films are good for their 'look' and their seamless switching from reality to fantasy, using sometimes low-tech special effects and their quirkiness. This one didn't have the unpredictablity of his others and there wasn't the character development, but I guess the story didn't call for those things.

As a youngest child, I understood his pain and frustration.

$!#$%@#$%@#$%

I have quite a sore back today. Sorer than I can remember experiencing before.

I hurt it a bit at netball, playing defence. Then I played centre and it hurt even more. Then I got home and could not quite walk comfortably unless I stooped. Then I started reading the Timetravellor's Wife and read til 4am somehow... then couldn't get to sleep anyhow because my back hurt no matter what way I tried to lie. Got two hours sleep, maybe three. Gotup at 10.30 because I wasn't tired anyhow.

Then it hurts more today.

I will trek (or drive) down to the pharmacy and see if I can get better drugs. Owie.

I feel like swearing a lot. STUPID @#$@#$@#$ NETBALL!

* * *

Ahhh. Nurofen Plus. And a wheatie bag applied to lower back. I hardly ever take drugs - one Panadol at most. A few times a year.

Having four of them this morning before going to the chemist was not kind on my empty stomache. Had to go to the bakery after the chemist to get a big bread roll. Now I look forward to my pie at Sweet Mother's because it will be time to have more drugs, not because pie is delicious.

For now I can lie in bed for hours reading. And my back only hurts when I get up to close the curtain because the sun is too hot.

This 'Timetraveler's Wife' is very readable. Makes me want to travel in time. I have less than 100 pages left - that's fast reading for me, since I started at 11pm last night.

December 14th, 1993

Today marks a symmetry point in my life, in a way. I was 16 on the day my mother died. I'm 32 on this anniversary of her death.

That means I've lived half my life with her alive and half without. For some reason, the next bit seems like unchartered territory for me. It was always somewhat comforting that she'd at least been with me over half my life.

Lady of Leisure

Social Calendar

What a great start to my holidays....

Sunday - Maria's Bowling Club Christmas Party

I'm catching the bus out to some Hutt bowling club with Michelle for some cheap Christmas drinks, organised by Maria and others.

Monday - Lovely Bones Premiere

Me and Cass are going to park up for a good view of celebs at the Embassy red carpet event (6pm).

Tuesday - Wild Things

Going with Rich and co to 'Where the Wild things Are' at Embassy after 6pm some time.

Wednesday - Carols

Going with Cass to Carols in the Park (Waitangi Park from 7pm). Blanket and picnic! Must leave early for 9pm netball though....


If anyone wants to come to the premiere or carols in the park let me know. The more the merrier!
* * *

It Makes me Proud

I got a card from one of my all-time fav students (if I had favourites, that... which I don't....). She's just finished 7th form and it was one of the nicest cards ever.

I like this bit - 'I really like that you're a bit weird like me and my friends - I think it's a great attribute'. Aww!

Her and another kid (both of whom are quite quirky, to be fair) said I was one of the friendliest teachers they'd had. I'll take that!

* * *

A Juxtaposition

At 8pm on Friday night I was having a wine and pizza at that bar/cafe on the corner of Willis and Manners Streets (next to where the movie theatre used to be and it goes kinda below street level a tiny bit). I walked in and there was a guy who looked tallish, sitting down with a friend playing chess and wearing a Rock Shop tshirt. I thought he could be my boyfriend. I didn't talk to him though.

Later on the two girls I was with had a game of chess. They didn't know how to play so I had to teach them - couldn't quite remember how to 'castle' and which was nearest the king at the start out of the knight and bishop.... but I remembered the rest of it. It's been a while! I like chess.

About three hours later we were considerably drunker, having downed two bottles of champagne and six shots between us. We were out with other staff from school and some flatmates of staff. Two of the men in the party got in a fight on the foot-path in Courtenay Place. Some people ended up at A and E while one of the flatmates got stitches in his eye.

Rock 'n roll! Since I have a pretty mature bunch of friends, that may be the first time I've been with people who've had a fight like that..... makes me feel young again. Had I not been quite drunk at the time, I would have been deeply disturbed. There was blood.

The Silly Season is Nigh

1. PJ

Sam has done a thorough enough post on the PJ concert. Everyone I know who went was fairly unanimous about it was o for awesome. I was glad we got tickets in the front of the field and got to do some gentle moshing (we diverted any ungentle looking people who tried to push into our possie).

They really do have a lot of good songs and I was suprised at how good their most recent stuff sounded live too.

My friend Iona was an ideal host - dropped us off and picked us up. A guy at work who caught the train said that after the concert the train was just packed with PJ fans who had drugded in there... and he suddenly got the idea that if there was some crazy person out there who hated PJ, this would be the ideal way to eliminate them en mass..... the train could be going anywhere....

2. Frujus

I got a pack of Frujus a couple of weeks ago when Sam and Rich and co came around for take-aways. Kinda forgot about them.... but have had them all in the last few days.

I'd forgotten how damned good they are! I have a very satisfying routine going with sucking the juice out of the edges, then biting them off.

3. Tiny Stormtroopers

This person's photo collection tickles my fancy. It's two little stormtrooper figurines getting up to all kinds of mischief and adventures. Vader appears sometimes too.

Get Amongst it, Lassie

I quite like this article on stuff about the soccer-girl who yanked down the other player by her ponytail. It's a nice media dissection of the responses.

I tend to agree that it's rather blown out of proportion, when you consider that the male equivalent might be a guy yanking another guy down by his shoulder. That would never make international news. It's just a part of soccer, which is a dirty, dirty game. It was a pretty rubbish thing to do, and it might have hurt a bit, but it was in the heat of the moment and it was done to try to get free, rather than to try and maim her.

I certainly wouldn't want to play against her since she seems to like elbowing people in the kidneys, but the few games of soccer I've watched all looked fairly brutal and it's a game where only the most blatant of fouls seem to get the ref's attention. This culture leads players towards getting away with as much as they can off the ball, or even on the ball. If you wanna make up a little high-light reel of all the times she took out players during the match, then it's more of a criticism of the ref than of her.

I wonder, with our rather 'butch' female culture, if this incident would've been as controversial if it had happened in NZ. I like to think we applaud our female athletes for being rough and tough. I guess we don't support them to the point of unsportsmanlike behaviour, but to be fair only two of the things she did on that clip were grossly beyond fair contention for the ball.

Shh - Maybe Nobody Saw

That leads me to the French saga. As I was saying to Michelle and Sam tonight, I'm not going to criticise the guy who got away with the hand-ball. That kinda thing happens in sport, and if the ref had called it he probably would've nodded and got on with the game.... but sometimes when it doesn't get called, you're kinda taken aback (especially when it's that blatant) and you go with it out of shock. It's the ref's job to call up infringements - there is no onus on players to always be honest (especially at that top level).

Ultimate Frisbee is the only sport where that happens.

Certainly in most sports, if the ref misses something, you're not going to go back and make him change his call. In basketball, if I made a game-winning defensive play, but knew that I'd fouled the player, there's no way I'd say, 'Excuse me ref - but I fouled her, give her some free-throws.' Doesn't work like that. You might just quietly say to the player, 'Tough break - I probably fouled you there,' at the most.

I guess there would be something very noble about having owned up to it, but you can't play 'what-if'. If he'd refused to take the goal, then some die-hard French fan who was pissed off that his country didn't make the World Cup might've fire-bombed his house or something. You can't please everybody, and you've only got a few seconds in which to make that judgement call.

I guess that's one of the nice things about cricket, the expectation of honesty when the ref messes up a call. It's quite a unique and gentlemanly honour-code. It would be a real test of character to see if a batsman would own up knicking the ball in an equivalent situation - say, the final over of a World Cup final, where his team had no wickets left and needed a few runs to win it.

But soccer sure ain't cricket. Apples and oranges.

I have sampled the TV show 'Glee'.

It has its funny moments. Not 'Big Bang Theory' hilarious, but mildly amusing. They usually occur when the evil ex-cop cheerleading coach is around.

My two biggest criticisms are
1) That the singing is so obviously computerised to be perfect pitch. It has those awful Cher-like mechanical trills in it. I'm not going to be impressed by that - but would be impressed by a real voice singing pretty well, albeit imperfectly.
2) After two episodes, it seems that every single show will have the line 'But we're not like them [the popular kids] - that's why we're in Glee club, where we can be ourselves' (said as one of them looks wistfully at a hot cheerleader or cool guy).

Play it again, Sam

I can't remember what it was called, but on Sunday nights there used to be that TV requests show, hosted by Jay Lagaia and sponsored by Minties.

I love how Youtube serves the same function now.

Here are two TV moments I looked up out of nostalgia....

The Cosby Show: Challenge!
The Critic: El Kabong!
Rip Tide: Intro!
Whiz Kids: Theme

At some point you realise....

[photo irrelevant to first part of post]

That nobody is perfect.

I have realised this about bosses (realised it about my parents years ago). Facades have crumbled all around me!

I have been at a workplace long enough to see a total change in management. There seem to be two types of people who have these jobs - the charismatic and decisive ones who don't follow through and like to pass the buck and the methodical but over-consulting ones who are afraid of taking firm stands on things.

While people heavily critique the current management for whatever flaw they have, as soon as they get replaced, the same people will miss them and wish the new ones had their strengths (forgetting about the weaknesses).

It's an interesting thing to observe.

I just try and do my job as autonomously as possible and remember that weaknesses are often complemented by strengths and vice versa.

For example, I am 'disorganised' (though I could explain the method to my madness - it's more of a 'just-in-time' production technique) but I also adapt well when things don't go to plan. If I find myself in a Mexican stand-off with another teacher at the door to a computer room we both thought we booked, I can handle backing away to Plan B, rather than watch the other anally-prepared teacher begin to self-implode in the uncertainty of the moment.

Anyhow.

People of my generation are starting to be these wonderfully flawed leaders. Crap.

* * *

I was with Cassie at Count Down in the Hutt, when I came across something cool.

A basket on wheels! It's a mini-trolley that is light and handles really well, taking up hardly any space in the aisles, yet holding enough groceries for a single-lady. It's the Formula 1 trolley of the supermarket.

They are, of course, designed for the elderly, but glaciers also like to lean on things whenever possible.

* * *

I found this website that works like a search engine, but for pictures....

I seem to often match up with Asian women (I think it's the fringe) and when I have my hair pulled back I'm a dead ring-in for an Indian man (evidently) and it sometimes confuses my hair for a helmet.

Here is Jon and his similar images (he matches up with male models, lucky bugger).

Luckily I had lots of photos of Jon lying around, him being a photo-hog and all.

* * *

I found this interesting.

I am part of a modern social phenomenon - 'Women's Creation of Camera Phone Culture'.

Preface

I've eaten my way through a box of Cadbury Favourites. I'd like to say I'd shared them, but 'share' is a word the single person does not have the luxury of using. And thus the vicious cycle continues...

Anyhow, I was quite disappointed. I don't really like the changes they've made. It's all very bland and pastel and mushy. Where's the hard raspberry caramel that gives you jaw-cramp? Where's the caramel barrel that bursts into your mouth with gooey runny goodness? And they've added Cherry Ripes. Any candy based product based on coconut seems like a rip-off to me. Coconut is what Mum would sprinkle on the top of perfectly good chocolate slice to make it seem 'grown-up'. Ptooey to coconut, says Kate.

I digress.

In my chocolate eating haze I have been cruising the internet in a leisurely fashion. Leisurely in that I have no more senior classes to teach. So I'm not having to look up new and interesting stuff on wrestling or the newspaper industry. I can be totally frivalous and have no agenda! Bliss.

You will also note my blogging output has a correlation to school workload. Less work = more blog. Blogging is thinking. It's trying to formulate an opinion on something, or retell an event, in a cohesive way. I find it therapeutic. Am I allowed to call it a hobby? Will the people who produce solid, practical things from their hobbies laugh at me? Can I call it a hobby if I actually never get any better at it?

Anyhow, to have time and mind energy to blog is a good thing.

What I Like

I accidentally caught the end of Jools Holland tonight. I have decided to make a point of flicking onto Rialto every now and then, since for about the past 6 months I've forgotten it exists (I tend to go up to 9, then cycle back down - my world is limited).

And there was a girl on there that I liked. She is Imelda May. I actually only really liked the second song she did (which is later in the clip at 3mins12secs). Jools accompanies her on piano. It's jazzylicious.

I also like Colin Hay. I have decided to seek out some actual albums from him. I stumbled across him when I was being a pirate and getting songs from the Garden State sound track. He's done a lot of work on Scrubs.

I came across this song, which is one of my favourite post-break-up songs ever. I just like the sentiment of it. I like this song too, which is a bit more upbeat (a bit).

I like the sound of his voice (I have a thing for gravelly, story-telling singers) and I like the acoustic sound, and I also really like the lyrics.

I used to sing this song to myself back when I used to play guitar (that has been on hold since my flatmates put in enough barbed comments to make me self-conscious about playing - I have lost my callouses).

I like tangible, specific lyrics. I hate hyperboles too generic to mean anything (=Celine Dion).

Beck's lyrics are like poetry. I can't quite figure out what it means, but it sounds nice how it's all put together.

Crushed apple cider buzz.

Surround sound of Gomez's 'Rosalita'.

Niiiiiice.

* * *

Sometimes I wonder if my parents did me a dis-service by being so damned nice to me while I was growing up.

I have a pretty thin skin for mean people. A very thin skin - like an eyelid. I have a thick skin for a lot of things. But for meanness, I have a low threshold.

It can be excused in teenagers, who are still building their empathy stores (and who, for the most part, try really hard to be thoughtful). I could do without passive-aggressive shite from grown-ups.

* * *

I am beginning to lose faith in my scales.

They have fluctuated about 5kg in the last week or so - and I'm sure my body hasn't. Not having trustworthy scales sends me into some kind of existential angst - I'm not sure just how guilty I should be feeling! I want irrefutable evidence!

* * *

When you're in a hospital visiting someone, it's really hard to not cough.

* * *

Summer is a frustrating time when you live in a flat with no good out-door area.

* * *

On some levels I can still really respect my brother. He never has any money for treats. So, we were at the supermarket getting dinner and I said, 'I'll get you some stuff if you want anything.' He pauses thoughtfully and says, 'No.'

Then I insist, and he says, 'Ok - I could get some noodles.' He gets two six-packs of Trident noodles. I woulda bought him a lot more. I then insist he gets a treat as well. He gets a cake of chocolate.

* * *

I wonder if John Key's popularity has peaked. People are starting to talk about how the 2nd year tends to start to show the cracks.

* * *

I want to be friends with Sheldon.